Not caring..lack of character or spiritual growth?
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Its not about liking or not liking your posts, cabo. 
When people chose to offer a critical point of view, it is better to take it into consideration than it is to become defensive, okay?
I've learned more about myself by those who initially have disagreed with me, is my experience. Sure I like agreement too, but no one wants to have agreement that lacks sincerity, yeah?
Relax, Cabo.
Take it easy, friend.
When people chose to offer a critical point of view, it is better to take it into consideration than it is to become defensive, okay?
I've learned more about myself by those who initially have disagreed with me, is my experience. Sure I like agreement too, but no one wants to have agreement that lacks sincerity, yeah?
Relax, Cabo.
Take it easy, friend.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Have you had a physical lately? This is probably going to sound weird coming from a woman buuuuut ill say it anyway. Something as simple as a deficiency in testosterone levels can cause these fluctuations.
Anyway I think I'm not alone in hopeing you're in a good place!
. Something as simple as a deficiency in testosterone levels can cause these fluctuations.Anyway
I think I'm not alone in hopeing you're in a good place!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
anyway...i realize that people might thunk I'm brass or an a-hole from my posts...or I just rub them the wrong way
I don't think that's fair but you are just going to have to take my word for it that i'm a good person that doesn't mean any harm...and if you met me in real life you probably thought i was a different person....I try to abide by the rules but I'm not going to sensor myself out of shame...sorry
thank you imperfectly...i get it,,,good one
I don't think that's fair but you are just going to have to take my word for it that i'm a good person that doesn't mean any harm...and if you met me in real life you probably thought i was a different person....I try to abide by the rules but I'm not going to sensor myself out of shame...sorry
thank you imperfectly...i get it,,,good one
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Not trying to seem "high and fluenty" here, cabo, but the reality is (and I've learned this over years of clinical work, my work in research, and as part of my own personal experience) that we often shut down emotionally as a means of disengaging from what seems like a constant battle. We simply aren't built to bear an ongoing, open-ended emotional onslaught and, because we cannot run from our own inner lives, we do the next best thing. Some people experience extreme anxiety as a result, others, depression. And others, still, experience emotional flatness, which is not the same thing as laziness, and is certainly not a "character flaw."
Such states are similar to the emotional lockdowns we attempt during active alcoholism, and sometimes for the same reasons that we drink. Some people are comfortable making the analogy between such an emotional moratoria and a physical state of shock following a physical trauma. Both protect us from further, often unbearable pain, but neither is infinitely sustainable.
In retrospect, it was necessary for me to go through what you've described in order to get to a better place, something I was not conscious of looking for at the time. I had beaten down and battered myself so completely, that I could do nothing else but not care. What followed after several months of sobriety was a restlessness and a revulsion of what I'd become, the first rustlings of my passions.
How many times have you read comments here about people being bored, unmotivated or, as in your case, simply no longer caring about the things in life that used to make life worth living after a short -- and often a much longer -- period of abstinence? If this were mere laziness, then it would be unlikely that things would ever change, especially the part about not caring about the absence of motivation, passion and activity.
As for your aversion to PAWS as a viable syndrome, in the absence of classifying psychiatric states and medical conditions, both psychiatry and medicine would be in disarray and there would be considerable obstacles in terms of treating patients who presented with any array of symptoms. When a specific patient population reliably and more often than not presents with more or less specific constellations of symptoms, then we're responsible to classify this presentation so as to both identify the condition and proceed with the appropriate treatment.
Such states are similar to the emotional lockdowns we attempt during active alcoholism, and sometimes for the same reasons that we drink. Some people are comfortable making the analogy between such an emotional moratoria and a physical state of shock following a physical trauma. Both protect us from further, often unbearable pain, but neither is infinitely sustainable.
In retrospect, it was necessary for me to go through what you've described in order to get to a better place, something I was not conscious of looking for at the time. I had beaten down and battered myself so completely, that I could do nothing else but not care. What followed after several months of sobriety was a restlessness and a revulsion of what I'd become, the first rustlings of my passions.
How many times have you read comments here about people being bored, unmotivated or, as in your case, simply no longer caring about the things in life that used to make life worth living after a short -- and often a much longer -- period of abstinence? If this were mere laziness, then it would be unlikely that things would ever change, especially the part about not caring about the absence of motivation, passion and activity.
As for your aversion to PAWS as a viable syndrome, in the absence of classifying psychiatric states and medical conditions, both psychiatry and medicine would be in disarray and there would be considerable obstacles in terms of treating patients who presented with any array of symptoms. When a specific patient population reliably and more often than not presents with more or less specific constellations of symptoms, then we're responsible to classify this presentation so as to both identify the condition and proceed with the appropriate treatment.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
I really meant nothing more than met the eye with the T levels, substitute an innocuous hormone lets say Triiodothyronine T3, anyway point being sometimes our emotional states are effected by our physiological.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC 
In retrospect, it was necessary for me to go through what you've described in order to get to a better place, something I was not conscious of looking for at the time. I had beaten down and battered myself so completely, that I could do nothing else but not care. What followed after several months of sobriety was a restlessness and a revulsion of what I'd become, the first rustlings of my passions.
Sounds par for the course, Cabo. I wouldn't worry about it.
I predict you'll begin to "thaw" out in time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
Originally Posted by ImperfectlyMe
I really meant nothing more than met the eye with the T levels, substitute an innocuous hormone lets say Triiodothyronine T3, anyway point being sometimes our emotional states are effected by our physiological.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Not trying to seem "high and fluenty" here, cabo, but the reality is (and I've learned this over years of clinical work, my work in research, and as part of my own personal experience) that we often shut down emotionally as a means of disengaging from what seems like a constant battle. We simply aren't built to bear an ongoing, open-ended emotional onslaught and, because we cannot run from our own inner lives, we do the next best thing. Some people experience extreme anxiety as a result, others, depression. And others, still, experience emotional flatness, which is not the same thing as laziness, and is certainly not a "character flaw."
Such states are similar to the emotional lockdowns we attempt during active alcoholism, and sometimes for the same reasons that we drink. Some people are comfortable making the analogy between such an emotional moratoria and a physical state of shock following a physical trauma. Both protect us from further, often unbearable pain, but neither is infinitely sustainable.
In retrospect, it was necessary for me to go through what you've described in order to get to a better place, something I was not conscious of looking for at the time. I had beaten down and battered myself so completely, that I could do nothing else but not care. What followed after several months of sobriety was a restlessness and a revulsion of what I'd become, the first rustlings of my passions.
How many times have you read comments here about people being bored, unmotivated or, as in your case, simply no longer caring about the things in life that used to make life worth living after a short -- and often a much longer -- period of abstinence? If this were mere laziness, then it would be unlikely that things would ever change, especially the part about not caring about the absence of motivation, passion and activity.
As for your aversion to PAWS as a viable syndrome, in the absence of classifying psychiatric states and medical conditions, both psychiatry and medicine would be in disarray and there would be considerable obstacles in terms of treating patients who presented with any array of symptoms. When a specific patient population reliably and more often than not presents with more or less specific constellations of symptoms, then we're responsible to classify this presentation so as to both identify the condition and proceed with the appropriate treatment.
Such states are similar to the emotional lockdowns we attempt during active alcoholism, and sometimes for the same reasons that we drink. Some people are comfortable making the analogy between such an emotional moratoria and a physical state of shock following a physical trauma. Both protect us from further, often unbearable pain, but neither is infinitely sustainable.
In retrospect, it was necessary for me to go through what you've described in order to get to a better place, something I was not conscious of looking for at the time. I had beaten down and battered myself so completely, that I could do nothing else but not care. What followed after several months of sobriety was a restlessness and a revulsion of what I'd become, the first rustlings of my passions.
How many times have you read comments here about people being bored, unmotivated or, as in your case, simply no longer caring about the things in life that used to make life worth living after a short -- and often a much longer -- period of abstinence? If this were mere laziness, then it would be unlikely that things would ever change, especially the part about not caring about the absence of motivation, passion and activity.
As for your aversion to PAWS as a viable syndrome, in the absence of classifying psychiatric states and medical conditions, both psychiatry and medicine would be in disarray and there would be considerable obstacles in terms of treating patients who presented with any array of symptoms. When a specific patient population reliably and more often than not presents with more or less specific constellations of symptoms, then we're responsible to classify this presentation so as to both identify the condition and proceed with the appropriate treatment.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi Cabo, I am not infusing anything negative into your posts. Reading this thread, these mental states in question remind me of what I also like to describe as "detachment" and for myself at least, discriminate this from another state that I like to call "non-attachment". The difference between the two is that for me, "detachment" is a rather maladaptive self-defense mechanism/ attitude when I feel overwhelmed by things and I shut down emotionally, kind of conserving my resources, not wanting to truly face the world/problems. It is forced control and minimalism. This, for me, is most often an anxiety-driven psychological reaction. You know, when people say someone is aloof? I had a very strong tendency to behave this way while drinking. I think it's different from what they call "dissociation" in psychiatry.
Non-attachment is something else, it's not an escaping attitude, more the opposite. For me, that state also involves a radical acceptance of reality, myself and everything that comes with it, it's selective involvement and actually often intense connection with the world and others, without clinging to anything in particular. It is pretty effortless, natural, and relaxed, and represents more giving up control and giving up enforcing boundaries. It also involves wanting to actually deeply participate in the world without getting lost and with minimal expectations and attachment to outcome. I would also describe this state as quite enthusiastic and fascinated, with no hint of apathy.
Not sure if any of this is relevant to what you are feeling? I am quite prone to both of these, but obviously the goal is more what I call "non-attachment". Just associations to your posts
Non-attachment is something else, it's not an escaping attitude, more the opposite. For me, that state also involves a radical acceptance of reality, myself and everything that comes with it, it's selective involvement and actually often intense connection with the world and others, without clinging to anything in particular. It is pretty effortless, natural, and relaxed, and represents more giving up control and giving up enforcing boundaries. It also involves wanting to actually deeply participate in the world without getting lost and with minimal expectations and attachment to outcome. I would also describe this state as quite enthusiastic and fascinated, with no hint of apathy.
Not sure if any of this is relevant to what you are feeling? I am quite prone to both of these, but obviously the goal is more what I call "non-attachment". Just associations to your posts
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
How many times have you read comments here about people being bored, unmotivated or, as in your case, simply no longer caring about the things in life that used to make life worth living after a short -- and often a much longer -- period of abstinence? If this were mere laziness, then it would be unlikely that things would ever change, especially the part about not caring about the absence of motivation, passion and activity.
I can go for a while just not careing then freaked out about something then I stop and ask myself why do i care? is there anything i can do about it? does it matter? will we starve? in the whole scheme of things is this really that important? is this really that bad? If life could be so much worse why should i jump and even care about this incidence? this clearly isnt so bad or even a problem.
I do get flat emotions too a lot really. I know why its to protect myself I dont like the emotional tug of war I dont like all the pain and games that go along with it. I'd rather just be flat its easier this way.
I also dont like my routine messed with anything out of the ordinary and i get anxiety and such so I just like to keep things the same. This doesnt mean i wont live a little I will but when i'm good and ready not on anyone elses timeline or terms.
I did go through a very detached phase when ifirst sobered up. for a good i duno 10 months things didnt seem real to me almost as if i was wondering through a movie set watching all that goes on in the world but nothing was truely real it was a strange place to be.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
we often shut down emotionally as a means of disengaging from what seems like a constant battle. We simply aren't built to bear an ongoing, open-ended emotional onslaught and, because we cannot run from our own inner lives, we do the next best thing. Some people experience extreme anxiety as a result, others, depression.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,350
Are you happy about this latest development Cabo? When I lost my fear it was one of the best feeling ever. It didn't make me feel flat though. It made me feel free. Do you flat or free?
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,350
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by caboblanco
not complacent....just not caring about if the sht hits the fan or not....i don't know how to describe this...but hey maybe you are right its just a character flaw or laziness..
Your posts aren't all that different than mine (we both shoot straight from the hip), but your's seldom seem to be aimed at helping others.
Not that mine are always helpful but my motives are mostly benign (except when I have a vendetta going). Take a look at this BB quote and see if it something that might help you:
"Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives."
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