beingbetter

I'm only almost 20. My "friends" shouldn't consist of acquaintances with whom I only party. I know it's pathetic, but I think one of the biggest reasons why I drank was because I could pretend I had people in my life. Even if we only got together when partying. I don't really have sober friends.

I've spent the past 3 days watching television series and chain smoking. I've barely been outside for the past 8 days.

I try not to think because I know that the guilt, shame and fear are only harmful and poisonous.

Dee74

I think building a new life takes time.
New interests new friends new priorities...

Having said that there's no need to be a hermit either.

Watching TV and chains smoking is tolerable for a drinker, but you might want a little more as a sober person? even just a walk around the block or whatever could help?

D

gettingbetter64

I'm in my early 20s also. Try exercising outdoors or going to a park where you could walk a track. Even if you feel like you don't have friends you should still go out and about it will make you feel better.

IOAA2

Hi. Your feelings are understandable and can be overcome. I needed to do some things I didn’t want to do to get and stay sober. One was to be involved in AA where people understand us and can lead to a great way of life the longer we stay involved. Also depending what meetings attended young people are in abundance. Look up or call the local AA phone and inquire about young peoples meetings.
Reading these forums will certainly help also but I don’t know if that will alleviate any loneliness.

BE WELL

Rosie88

I completely understand the feeling. I'm 26 now, and a majority of my "friends" were all drinking "friends". I know 20 is a hard age not to go out and party. Don't get down on yourself.

You know you have a problem early! That is quite great! Nip it in the bud! You can do this!!

Boudicca

I am ashamed to admit how much mindless television I watched in the first few weeks! It's okay......do whatever you need to do to not drink! Just don't isolate too much. Maybe do some journaling to figure out how you want your life to be SOBER.

That was very helpful to me.

trachemys

What guilt, shame, and fear? You're trying to stop abusing yourself with your current actions. Good for you!

I'm gonna share a secret with you. You aren't going to have a lot of real friends in your life. You are going to have a whole lot of people you share activities with, such as your current situation with party friends. Find new activities and you find new people. But YOU have to get out there and do it.

PurpleKnight

I had to really sit down and thing about what I was interested in when I got Sober, a new list of activities, goals, things I wanted to spend my time doing!!

A new lifestyle won't happen over night, but in time we can turn things around!!

skateonwalls

Most people have acquaintances but few true friends.

wellvoice

Beingbetter, give yourself a pat on the back. You have been doing something huge for yourself - staying sober. When we first get sober we are confronted with ourselves and it can be hard to see a future without the old friend, Alcohol. Yet I suspect that Alcohol was never really your friend but rather - as you've discovered - your enemy in disguise. As hard as it may seem, I urge you to get out for one walk per day and to accomplish two small tasks that you don't feel like doing. At the end of each night, devise a list of 3 things that you are grateful for in your life right now. Day by day, you can build a life that is better than the one you've been leading up until now. Getting sober is not just about `not drinking'; it's about moving forward and replacing the alcohol with good things. Good luck. In will now take my own advice.