I suck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 141
I suck
7 days sober. And then I $&@" it up again. Sometimes this feels hopeless. I really am trying but then I just screw it all up and seem to have little to no self control. How can someone ever get sober without self control. 😞 feeling discouraged and stupid and not sure where to find the motivation to start again tomorrow.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 141
Dee, I went to a doctor to check my health. Everything was okay. (Which I took as an excuse to start drinking again). I also opened up and told someone close to me about my problem... Then I have been reading and researching and dedicating many hours to self analyzing. I thought I was doing better. But then I always seem to trip up when it comes to the practicing self control part 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I think maybe you need more support - people to reach out to when you feel vulnerable, instead of drinking?
You can start that right away here. Why not join the Class of August support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-2.html
D
You can start that right away here. Why not join the Class of August support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-2.html
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 141
I will try that... Wish me luck though at this point I don't feel like it's luck I need anymore, but some sort of drastic earth moving moment. I really don't want to be face down in a ditch somewhere before I stop giving into my own stupid temptations
though at this point I don't feel like it's luck I need anymore, but some sort of drastic earth moving moment. I really don't want to be face down in a ditch somewhere before I stop giving into my own stupid temptations
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
Holly, I live in Southern CA but visit your city frequently in fact I lived there for 34 years before coming to SO CA in 87. I attend some great AA meetings when in town and in fact my son is 14 years sober and is active in AA in SLC.
I hated the idea of AA and hated the first many meetings I went to, but I had run out of options and couldn't do it by myself. There are all sorts of wacky folks in those meetings but many of them had something I couldn't get with my Economics degree and my big house and great business, SOBRIETY. I still am unsure why it worked for me several years ago, but it did and does.
If you want to private message me I can put you in touch with some folks who will be happy to give you directions to the meetings.
Just a thought and my memories how I couldn't stop and how I did. Either way best of luck. You deserve more that frustration and fear, sober can be a great life.
Jon
I hated the idea of AA and hated the first many meetings I went to, but I had run out of options and couldn't do it by myself. There are all sorts of wacky folks in those meetings but many of them had something I couldn't get with my Economics degree and my big house and great business, SOBRIETY. I still am unsure why it worked for me several years ago, but it did and does.
If you want to private message me I can put you in touch with some folks who will be happy to give you directions to the meetings.
Just a thought and my memories how I couldn't stop and how I did. Either way best of luck. You deserve more that frustration and fear, sober can be a great life.
Jon
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Your not alone in this HollyBear....I've been feeling pretty hopeless in this thing this week myself, but I just know I cannot give up....the alternative sucks more than the struggle to remain sober. I've just been reading here a lot & really taking a look at what works for others here that have found & maintain sobriety & know I need to do something different. Be kind to yourself
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 283
You have a lot of courage to be able to post.
I recently drank after a somewhat decent amount of time not drinking. And I had to go the hospital the other day, because of my drinking. I can't tell you how much guilt and sadness I feel because it got to that point. What about AA or an addiction counselor. I've been trying to explore my options besides this site. I know you feel bad for drinking but you keep on trying to be sober. That says a lot. Take care and start back up on day 1!
I recently drank after a somewhat decent amount of time not drinking. And I had to go the hospital the other day, because of my drinking. I can't tell you how much guilt and sadness I feel because it got to that point. What about AA or an addiction counselor. I've been trying to explore my options besides this site. I know you feel bad for drinking but you keep on trying to be sober. That says a lot. Take care and start back up on day 1!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey Holly, don't give up!!
For me I had to change my thinking and not worry so much about not having any self control, but rather surrender to the fact that I had no control over alcohol, the penny dropped the day I finally said, "I can't control alcohol, it controls me", that cuts out all the thoughts of having 1 drink, maybe I'm cured etc and made things black/white in my mind.
You can do this Holly!!
For me I had to change my thinking and not worry so much about not having any self control, but rather surrender to the fact that I had no control over alcohol, the penny dropped the day I finally said, "I can't control alcohol, it controls me", that cuts out all the thoughts of having 1 drink, maybe I'm cured etc and made things black/white in my mind.
You can do this Holly!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 141
Thank you for all the supportive posts. I am feeling like crap today. Hung over, defeated. I called an old friend I haven't talked to in years to ask for help. It was humbling. Embarrassing. But she had been in my position before an was supportive and suggested a location for a meeting to go to on Sunday.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 188
Hi Holly, and Welcome
I don't think you suck at all, but I do believe that all of us thought that about ourselves when in the midst of being hungover.
How about attending some Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, they have all been where you are at, and they have a solution that works Holly.
This is a list of AA meetings in Salt Lake City, why not see if there one near you? They will welcome you with open arms Holly
Schedule of Meetings | Salt Lake AA Central Office
If you need a ride to the AA meeting, call 801-484-7871 and ask if there are some woman AA members who can come and pick you up and take you.
I don't think you suck at all, but I do believe that all of us thought that about ourselves when in the midst of being hungover.
How about attending some Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, they have all been where you are at, and they have a solution that works Holly.
This is a list of AA meetings in Salt Lake City, why not see if there one near you? They will welcome you with open arms Holly
Schedule of Meetings | Salt Lake AA Central Office
If you need a ride to the AA meeting, call 801-484-7871 and ask if there are some woman AA members who can come and pick you up and take you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
After you went to the doctors and got
good results of good health, then that
in itself is awesome and a "GIFT".
I take my "gifts" in recovery and hold
them very close to me because so many
do struggle with health issues that can
be turned around with help.
After the doctor, where did you go to get
a drink? Between that small space of time,
we have a choice to either reach for someone
in recovery to talk you out of drinking. You,
or maybe I should say, WE have a choice and chance
to do something different to not pick up a
drink. That difference is a change.
We can learn many new ways to not
do the same thing we use to do to
pick up that drink, that mind altering
substance, that poison.
We have to make sure that our surroundings
are free of poison, like within our homes.
As long as they are not in reach for us then
we have TIME to make a healthier decision
that would and could affect our lives.
Knowing that I never have to go thru recovery
alone is extremely comforting.
good results of good health, then that
in itself is awesome and a "GIFT".
I take my "gifts" in recovery and hold
them very close to me because so many
do struggle with health issues that can
be turned around with help.
After the doctor, where did you go to get
a drink? Between that small space of time,
we have a choice to either reach for someone
in recovery to talk you out of drinking. You,
or maybe I should say, WE have a choice and chance
to do something different to not pick up a
drink. That difference is a change.
We can learn many new ways to not
do the same thing we use to do to
pick up that drink, that mind altering
substance, that poison.
We have to make sure that our surroundings
are free of poison, like within our homes.
As long as they are not in reach for us then
we have TIME to make a healthier decision
that would and could affect our lives.
Knowing that I never have to go thru recovery
alone is extremely comforting.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
I have been there before. Coming here, joining a class helped me a lot. Also, I needed F2F accountability as well. Don't beat yourself up, learn something from this. Think back to when you picked up and what you will do the next time you get that urge.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Holly,
You do not suck. You are just struggling with what we all did. It's easy to get down on ourselves when we feel like we can't stop.
It took me finding out from my dr. that I was not healthy anymore for me to stop. The numbers on my labs were double what they should be. Not good. You don't have to let it go as far as I did health wise to stop. If you can take anything from me and my experience, just know that people can learn faster than I did. I knew my health was failing at 31 but it took the news from the dr. to really click.
I had daily moments of panic where all I could do was walk in circles around the room. What I did differently this time (than the 4,000 other times I tried to stop) was log on here every evening. Even for five minutes. Even with all my determination I still needed a daily reminder of why I was stopping. I could not continue to damage my health, physically and mentally.
You can do this. I had probably 10 times in the past five years where I made it to five day and drank on day six. I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober. When you truly feel, in your heart and mind, that you want to be sober more than you want to drink you can do it. It's still not easy. Not one bit, but it is so worth it.
You do not suck. You are just struggling with what we all did. It's easy to get down on ourselves when we feel like we can't stop.
It took me finding out from my dr. that I was not healthy anymore for me to stop. The numbers on my labs were double what they should be. Not good. You don't have to let it go as far as I did health wise to stop. If you can take anything from me and my experience, just know that people can learn faster than I did. I knew my health was failing at 31 but it took the news from the dr. to really click.
I had daily moments of panic where all I could do was walk in circles around the room. What I did differently this time (than the 4,000 other times I tried to stop) was log on here every evening. Even for five minutes. Even with all my determination I still needed a daily reminder of why I was stopping. I could not continue to damage my health, physically and mentally.
You can do this. I had probably 10 times in the past five years where I made it to five day and drank on day six. I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober. When you truly feel, in your heart and mind, that you want to be sober more than you want to drink you can do it. It's still not easy. Not one bit, but it is so worth it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
I failed many many times trying to quit. It truly is amazing how i could feel so confident I had it whipped. Then an hour later I was gritting my teeth together in front of the beer store.
Doing it on self control alone makes it even more difficult. For me AA helped,just for the fact i was around other people going through the same thing.That is one big thing that helped me to get over the hurdle. Or I guess I should say hurdles.
The important thing is to keep at it,and not give up. We alcoholics are very stubborn,and quitting just sounds so simple on paper. All you gotta do is not drink. Right?.......Well,I think everyone here that frequents this sight knows there is a bit more to it than that.
Fred
Doing it on self control alone makes it even more difficult. For me AA helped,just for the fact i was around other people going through the same thing.That is one big thing that helped me to get over the hurdle. Or I guess I should say hurdles.
The important thing is to keep at it,and not give up. We alcoholics are very stubborn,and quitting just sounds so simple on paper. All you gotta do is not drink. Right?.......Well,I think everyone here that frequents this sight knows there is a bit more to it than that.
Fred
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