Update: Seriously Frustrated. Gained 10 Lbs
new2this
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 23
Update: Seriously Frustrated. Gained 10 Lbs
The tapering went really well. Tapering down from a case+ to a six pack went pretty fast. Drank plenty of Pedialyte and Emergen-Cs, Perrier and herbal teas in between. It was far more mental than physical, but there were withdrawal symptoms. Mild, but still quite annoying.
It went even faster when we discovered 2oz of vodka in water or juice 3x a day eliminated all of my withdrawal symptoms. The anxiety, insomnia, sweating and itching? *POOF* They all just went away. Learning to stick to a tiny dose and not down the whole bottle was truly a learning experience; an exercise in self-discipline . A bit taxing. But I can honestly say I have a LOT more self-discipline that I did a month ago. Full bottles of vodka are actually safe in my home unless it’s time for a medicinal dose. Stuff tastes like isopropyl so no problem mentally filing it under “medicine” in my mind. Absolutely no desire to get drunk or even “soft” either.
Then I weighed in yesterday. I gained 10 fecking lbs!! DAMN. I have done nothing differently except to eliminate more than 3,500 empty calories a day from my diet and start exercising a little. I got so pissed off, I drank an entire case of Pacifico in 24 hours. Just to get even with myself. (<how is that for idiotic thinking, eh?) And you know what? It was DISGUSTING. I am glad I did it.
I am glad because I can now honestly say I have completely totally lost all taste or attraction to beer or wine. It is not even a matter of craving or missing it anymore. It is absolutely nasty. Sweet and heavy. Yeasty. Foul. Makes me feel oogy. I cannot BELIEVE this pee water ever had a hold on me. But it did. Oh, how it did. I guess I needed the reminder. Note to self: NEVER again. EVER. The temptation to get drunk is now dead to me.
Back to my tiny vodka doses which are now down to 3tsp 3x a day. And best part? I added up all our grocery receipts for the past two months, averaged them and subtracted this month's receipts. Saved $556 on beer and wine!! Only spent about $12 on vodka.
I know moderate drinking is not popular here, but my doctor thinks this is right for me and maybe it will help someone else. I have learned to take or leave the bottle instead of fearing it. It is not taboo. It has no power over me anymore. I even had two mimosas with my mother-in-law at Sunday brunch and was able to recognize one would have been plenty. Next time, it will be one or none and nobody the least bit fussed about it.
Still, I can't believe I drank an entire case yesterday. I did not even get a buzz. I got tired. I felt sick. I made a bad decision. I hated myself for it. I learned from it. I guess I needed a reminder of what a rotten way of life that was …
Has anyone else GAINED weight after sobering up? I thought the weight was just supposed to go away? Interested in your feed back.
It went even faster when we discovered 2oz of vodka in water or juice 3x a day eliminated all of my withdrawal symptoms. The anxiety, insomnia, sweating and itching? *POOF* They all just went away. Learning to stick to a tiny dose and not down the whole bottle was truly a learning experience; an exercise in self-discipline . A bit taxing. But I can honestly say I have a LOT more self-discipline that I did a month ago. Full bottles of vodka are actually safe in my home unless it’s time for a medicinal dose. Stuff tastes like isopropyl so no problem mentally filing it under “medicine” in my mind. Absolutely no desire to get drunk or even “soft” either.
Then I weighed in yesterday. I gained 10 fecking lbs!! DAMN. I have done nothing differently except to eliminate more than 3,500 empty calories a day from my diet and start exercising a little. I got so pissed off, I drank an entire case of Pacifico in 24 hours. Just to get even with myself. (<how is that for idiotic thinking, eh?) And you know what? It was DISGUSTING. I am glad I did it.
I am glad because I can now honestly say I have completely totally lost all taste or attraction to beer or wine. It is not even a matter of craving or missing it anymore. It is absolutely nasty. Sweet and heavy. Yeasty. Foul. Makes me feel oogy. I cannot BELIEVE this pee water ever had a hold on me. But it did. Oh, how it did. I guess I needed the reminder. Note to self: NEVER again. EVER. The temptation to get drunk is now dead to me.
Back to my tiny vodka doses which are now down to 3tsp 3x a day. And best part? I added up all our grocery receipts for the past two months, averaged them and subtracted this month's receipts. Saved $556 on beer and wine!! Only spent about $12 on vodka.
I know moderate drinking is not popular here, but my doctor thinks this is right for me and maybe it will help someone else. I have learned to take or leave the bottle instead of fearing it. It is not taboo. It has no power over me anymore. I even had two mimosas with my mother-in-law at Sunday brunch and was able to recognize one would have been plenty. Next time, it will be one or none and nobody the least bit fussed about it.
Still, I can't believe I drank an entire case yesterday. I did not even get a buzz. I got tired. I felt sick. I made a bad decision. I hated myself for it. I learned from it. I guess I needed a reminder of what a rotten way of life that was …
Has anyone else GAINED weight after sobering up? I thought the weight was just supposed to go away? Interested in your feed back.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I'm not trying to pick a fight Boobooka....but how is drinking a case of something 'taking or leaving it'?
If I have this right...you've been scrupulously honest with your Dr, he has you tapering...and he still thinks you can be a moderate drinker?
If that's so, I honestly think you need a new Dr.
D
If I have this right...you've been scrupulously honest with your Dr, he has you tapering...and he still thinks you can be a moderate drinker?
If that's so, I honestly think you need a new Dr.
D
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
I don't think expecting a miraculous weight gain is realistic. I certainly did not lose weight initially.
Also, you don't mention what you are eating, so if they are still the fatty, processed foods you ate when drinking, they just might be being absorbed instead of being flushed through with alco diarrhoea etc.
The statement above doesn't match the one below.
Still, I can't believe I drank an entire case yesterday. I did not even get a buzz. I got tired. I felt sick. I made a bad decision. I hated myself for it. I learned from it.
You can take or leave it, but can't believe you drank an entire case?
That's why moderating is probably a disheartening exercise. I'd rather put the energy into a healthy sober life than measure out 3 teaspoons of alcohol, then drink a case with no control. Just me, I guess.
Also, you don't mention what you are eating, so if they are still the fatty, processed foods you ate when drinking, they just might be being absorbed instead of being flushed through with alco diarrhoea etc.
Originally Posted by Boobooka 
I know moderate drinking is not popular here, but my doctor thinks this is right for me and maybe it will help someone else. I have learned to take or leave the bottle instead of fearing it. It is not taboo. It has no power over me anymore. I even had two mimosas with my mother-in-law at Sunday brunch and was able to recognize one would have been plenty. Next time, it will be one or none and nobody the least bit fussed about it.
Originally Posted by Boobooka
Still, I can't believe I drank an entire case yesterday. I did not even get a buzz. I got tired. I felt sick. I made a bad decision. I hated myself for it. I learned from it.
You can take or leave it, but can't believe you drank an entire case?
That's why moderating is probably a disheartening exercise. I'd rather put the energy into a healthy sober life than measure out 3 teaspoons of alcohol, then drink a case with no control. Just me, I guess.
new2this
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 23
“I'm not trying to pick a fight Boobooka....but how is drinking a case of something 'taking or leaving it'?”
Passive-aggressive much? Say you aren't doing something, then do it anyway. I could not take it or leave it before. Now I can. That is the point I was making. What was once a daily habit now makes me wonder what I ever saw in it as I did not enjoy it at all. I can now set it aside without any temptation to ever return to it again.
“If you've been scrupulously honest with your Dr, he has you tapering...and he still thinks you can be a moderate drinker?
I honestly think you need a new Dr. ”
Yeah. Right. I’m going to trade in my doctor of 15 years who has saved my life three times because someone in a forum thinks I should? Wow. The utter arrogance of that. Wow.
He doesn’t “think” I can be a moderate drinker. He knows I could be if I truly set my sights on that, and he hopes I might eventually give it up altogether because I am finally realizing it serves no purpose because it is counter-productive. It is a thought process. Not a biological reflex. Mastery of self over substance. Growth. Perhaps it’s a little too spiritual, too MMA, too Eastern vs Western for some of you? Sorry about that. I didn't know. I thought I could be honest here.
He has been a pretty good doctor to me. Sorry, but I’m not into the ones who prescribe highly addictive pills to “wean” people off their habits only to have them addicted to the pills, forever "relapsing". This one holds patients accountable, and TEACHES them how to overcome. Not fear. Not white knuckle it, sweat it out or swap one bad habit for another but OVERCOME.
Number of times I have been in the ER? ZERO. Number of prescriptions? ZERO. Success to failure ratio? I am drink 9 tsp of vodka a day vs 2 case or 2 magnums of strong wine a day. Spending $12 a month vs $550 a month on alcohol. Not sure what you call that, haters. I call it progress.
Passive-aggressive much? Say you aren't doing something, then do it anyway. I could not take it or leave it before. Now I can. That is the point I was making. What was once a daily habit now makes me wonder what I ever saw in it as I did not enjoy it at all. I can now set it aside without any temptation to ever return to it again.
“If you've been scrupulously honest with your Dr, he has you tapering...and he still thinks you can be a moderate drinker?
I honestly think you need a new Dr. ”
Yeah. Right. I’m going to trade in my doctor of 15 years who has saved my life three times because someone in a forum thinks I should? Wow. The utter arrogance of that. Wow.
He doesn’t “think” I can be a moderate drinker. He knows I could be if I truly set my sights on that, and he hopes I might eventually give it up altogether because I am finally realizing it serves no purpose because it is counter-productive. It is a thought process. Not a biological reflex. Mastery of self over substance. Growth. Perhaps it’s a little too spiritual, too MMA, too Eastern vs Western for some of you? Sorry about that. I didn't know. I thought I could be honest here.
He has been a pretty good doctor to me. Sorry, but I’m not into the ones who prescribe highly addictive pills to “wean” people off their habits only to have them addicted to the pills, forever "relapsing". This one holds patients accountable, and TEACHES them how to overcome. Not fear. Not white knuckle it, sweat it out or swap one bad habit for another but OVERCOME.
Number of times I have been in the ER? ZERO. Number of prescriptions? ZERO. Success to failure ratio? I am drink 9 tsp of vodka a day vs 2 case or 2 magnums of strong wine a day. Spending $12 a month vs $550 a month on alcohol. Not sure what you call that, haters. I call it progress.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Not necessarily talking about weight gain here, but I think you've nailed the problem:
Since gaining a relatively small amount of weight set you off to drink a case of Pacifico, I hope you find a safer way to manage all of life's inevitable disappointments.
Originally Posted by Boobooka
I have done nothing differently except to eliminate more than 3,500 empty calories a day from my diet and start exercising a little.
new2this
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 23
“I don't think expecting a miraculous weight gain is realistic. I certainly did not lose weight initially.”
I did expect it. Silly me. My friend quit and lost 20+ lbs in a month. Another lost 18. (Good genes?) A lot of people do lose weight. Fast. Without trying. Once they quit. I cannot understand how taking in 3,500+ less calories a day and moving a lot more resulted in weight gain? That really ticked me off, freaked me out and sent me for a spin. Thyroid checked. No problem there. Doc says this happens because your body goes into starvation mode and stores EVERYthing. If it doesn't stop next month, more lab work. Otherwise, my labs are golden.
“Also, you don't mention what you are eating, so if they are still the fatty, processed foods you ate when drinking, they just might be being absorbed instead of being flushed through with alco diarrhoea etc.”
Make assumptions much? I NEVER ate fatty processed foods. Ever. Ewww? Ick. Where did you pick up that idea up? Projection? What? I do NOT eat out. Perish the thought. I used to work in a restaurant. I know what goes on in the kitchen. I would only ever eat out if I knew the head chef or my life depended on it. My diet has always been pretty good although there were times I really didn’t feel like eating much. I shop organic. I eat well. Same diet. WAY less calories. What gives?
“The statement above doesn't match the one below.”
Still, I can't believe I drank an entire case yesterday. I did not even get a buzz. I got tired. I felt sick. I made a bad decision. I hated myself for it. I learned from it.
“You can take or leave it, but can't believe you drank an entire case?
I know this might be a little heavy, but sometimes, you have to revisit the demon to conquer the demon. Co-existence with the demon is not an option. You have to kick its ass. Conquer it. Do not spend the rest of your life playing footsie with it under the table. Some people can live that way. Others want to well and truly dominate it which entails recognizing it, understanding it, accepting it and conquering it.
I guess I am speaking a foreign language to the “there’s a pill for everything” group thinkers out there. Sorry about that. I didn't know it was wrong to say, "hey, this is what is working or not working for me". Don't I have the same right to MY journey as you do even if it is a bit unconventional? Oh … It's not AA compliant or something? Did I goof?
Sorry about that. Somewhere out there, people like me need to hear what I have to say. Yes. I can honestly take it or leave it now. I have 24 bottle caps as a reminder, a testament, a trophy of who I used to be. Good riddance to bad rubbish. That chapter of my life is well and truly closed. I am choosing to leave it behind with a “yuck” and a bitter aftertaste in the mouth of my mind as the only association to my once hardcore habit.
I knew what I was doing this time. It was intentional. It was a real eye opener. This time, it was like watching another person destroy themselves and carving out a new thought process. It was an ugly insight into who/what I used to be. I can sleep now knowing I will never do it again— not because somebody else said so, but because it is just a seriously stupid and damaging, wasteful thing to do. I can’t even imagine how or why I ever did it before.
God bless my relapse. The temptation is gone. I drank this last case because once I caved and committed to the purchase, I wanted to see what would happen with new eyes. I wanted to see it for what it was instead of embracing it as something that will be part of me forever. The hell it will. It was sickening. It is getting boring. I journaled constantly. I waited for a payoff that never came.
“That's why moderating is probably a disheartening exercise. I'd rather put the energy into a healthy sober life than measure out 3 teaspoons of alcohol, then drink a case with no control. Just me, I guess.”
Oh yeah ... Because measuring out 3 tsp is SO difficult and requires SO much energy? Really. It does not. As compared to what? The whole point of this exercise is to MAKE IT UTTERLY INCONVENIENT and call attention to it until it become enough of a hassle it stops on its own. It will. I already find beer and wine sickening. Inconvenient. Boring. Nasty.
I have learned I have a threshold and that is about one mimosa on holidays. I can feel and recognize drink like a normal person, at last. And really? Any more than that is a waste. I understand some of you prefer prescription meds vs learning self-discipline, but I cannot help you with that.
There was a day when your replies would have sent me running for the bottle. That day will never happen again. Today, I can only read your replies, shrug and say, “haters gonna hate”. Somewhere out there is someone a lot like me who doesn’t dig prescription meds or AA and would like an alternative. That alternative is learning self-control. It can be done. You just have to pursue it and work a little harder every day.
I believe we can get through this. I only have 3 tsp of vodka when I get seriously bad symptoms. This will lesson over time. One day, I will leave it behind altogether. Until then, I do NOT appreciate gas from the peanut gallery. I thought this was a friendly forum?
I did expect it. Silly me. My friend quit and lost 20+ lbs in a month. Another lost 18. (Good genes?) A lot of people do lose weight. Fast. Without trying. Once they quit. I cannot understand how taking in 3,500+ less calories a day and moving a lot more resulted in weight gain? That really ticked me off, freaked me out and sent me for a spin. Thyroid checked. No problem there. Doc says this happens because your body goes into starvation mode and stores EVERYthing. If it doesn't stop next month, more lab work. Otherwise, my labs are golden.
“Also, you don't mention what you are eating, so if they are still the fatty, processed foods you ate when drinking, they just might be being absorbed instead of being flushed through with alco diarrhoea etc.”
Make assumptions much? I NEVER ate fatty processed foods. Ever. Ewww? Ick. Where did you pick up that idea up? Projection? What? I do NOT eat out. Perish the thought. I used to work in a restaurant. I know what goes on in the kitchen. I would only ever eat out if I knew the head chef or my life depended on it. My diet has always been pretty good although there were times I really didn’t feel like eating much. I shop organic. I eat well. Same diet. WAY less calories. What gives?
“The statement above doesn't match the one below.”
Still, I can't believe I drank an entire case yesterday. I did not even get a buzz. I got tired. I felt sick. I made a bad decision. I hated myself for it. I learned from it.
“You can take or leave it, but can't believe you drank an entire case?
I know this might be a little heavy, but sometimes, you have to revisit the demon to conquer the demon. Co-existence with the demon is not an option. You have to kick its ass. Conquer it. Do not spend the rest of your life playing footsie with it under the table. Some people can live that way. Others want to well and truly dominate it which entails recognizing it, understanding it, accepting it and conquering it.
I guess I am speaking a foreign language to the “there’s a pill for everything” group thinkers out there. Sorry about that. I didn't know it was wrong to say, "hey, this is what is working or not working for me". Don't I have the same right to MY journey as you do even if it is a bit unconventional? Oh … It's not AA compliant or something? Did I goof?
Sorry about that. Somewhere out there, people like me need to hear what I have to say. Yes. I can honestly take it or leave it now. I have 24 bottle caps as a reminder, a testament, a trophy of who I used to be. Good riddance to bad rubbish. That chapter of my life is well and truly closed. I am choosing to leave it behind with a “yuck” and a bitter aftertaste in the mouth of my mind as the only association to my once hardcore habit.
I knew what I was doing this time. It was intentional. It was a real eye opener. This time, it was like watching another person destroy themselves and carving out a new thought process. It was an ugly insight into who/what I used to be. I can sleep now knowing I will never do it again— not because somebody else said so, but because it is just a seriously stupid and damaging, wasteful thing to do. I can’t even imagine how or why I ever did it before.
God bless my relapse. The temptation is gone. I drank this last case because once I caved and committed to the purchase, I wanted to see what would happen with new eyes. I wanted to see it for what it was instead of embracing it as something that will be part of me forever. The hell it will. It was sickening. It is getting boring. I journaled constantly. I waited for a payoff that never came.
“That's why moderating is probably a disheartening exercise. I'd rather put the energy into a healthy sober life than measure out 3 teaspoons of alcohol, then drink a case with no control. Just me, I guess.”
Oh yeah ... Because measuring out 3 tsp is SO difficult and requires SO much energy? Really. It does not. As compared to what? The whole point of this exercise is to MAKE IT UTTERLY INCONVENIENT and call attention to it until it become enough of a hassle it stops on its own. It will. I already find beer and wine sickening. Inconvenient. Boring. Nasty.
I have learned I have a threshold and that is about one mimosa on holidays. I can feel and recognize drink like a normal person, at last. And really? Any more than that is a waste. I understand some of you prefer prescription meds vs learning self-discipline, but I cannot help you with that.
There was a day when your replies would have sent me running for the bottle. That day will never happen again. Today, I can only read your replies, shrug and say, “haters gonna hate”. Somewhere out there is someone a lot like me who doesn’t dig prescription meds or AA and would like an alternative. That alternative is learning self-control. It can be done. You just have to pursue it and work a little harder every day.
I believe we can get through this. I only have 3 tsp of vodka when I get seriously bad symptoms. This will lesson over time. One day, I will leave it behind altogether. Until then, I do NOT appreciate gas from the peanut gallery. I thought this was a friendly forum?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Bookbooka, you got a free pass with me. I'm used to having my cyber face slapped.
No harm no foul.
But do not take that as permission for you to make snide replies to other members.
Please abide by the rules and regulations that you agreed to abide by when you signed up here, or this thread will be closed.
Dee
Moderator
SR
No harm no foul.
But do not take that as permission for you to make snide replies to other members.
Please abide by the rules and regulations that you agreed to abide by when you signed up here, or this thread will be closed.
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No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat.
It is also our policy not to allow threads that are purely to announce that you are unhappy here and "leaving the site'" or to post threads discussing why someone left or was banned. Such posts often detract from our purpose of providing support in recovery. Posts of this nature may be removed and continued posting of this nature could jeopardize your membership. If you wish to “leave” SR or just take a break from the site you are welcome to notify your friends via the Private Message feature.
Ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.
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new2this
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Not necessarily talking about weight gain here, but I think you've nailed the problem:
Since gaining a relatively small amount of weight set you off to drink a case of Pacifico, I hope you find a safer way to manage all of life's inevitable disappointments.
Since gaining a relatively small amount of weight set you off to drink a case of Pacifico, I hope you find a safer way to manage all of life's inevitable disappointments.
new2this
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Not necessarily talking about weight gain here, but I think you've nailed the problem:
Totally. That was … Like … Really stupid. I cannot believe I was that stupid. Never again, my friends. Never again.
Since gaining a relatively small amount of weight set you off to drink a case of Pacifico, I hope you find a safer way to manage all of life's inevitable disappointments.
Totally. That was … Like … Really stupid. I cannot believe I was that stupid. Never again, my friends. Never again.
Since gaining a relatively small amount of weight set you off to drink a case of Pacifico, I hope you find a safer way to manage all of life's inevitable disappointments.
new2this
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by Mags1
Hi Boobooka, hope it works out for you.
This is a friendly forum and these lovely people have your best interests at heart.
This is a friendly forum and these lovely people have your best interests at heart.
We are working on the smart part (the brain) and the biology (the body) without medication or group-think weirdness. Sorry if that offends anyone. Probably the wrong group for me …
new2this
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by Mags1
Hi Boobooka, hope it works out for you.
This is a friendly forum and these lovely people have your best interests at heart.
This is a friendly forum and these lovely people have your best interests at heart.
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