Icebreaker
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Icebreaker
Good morning. I have so much to say I cant seem to say it. Confessions, feelings, frustrations, anger..SHAME. So l'll say "Hello, all" and I truly hope everyone reading this is doing well. 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
This is a very healthy place to erupt! Drinking may put a bandaid on cancer, but it doesn't heal a festering wound. Got to drain the pus (ewwww). Some of the comments you get here on SR are fantastic--almost incredible how timely and pinpoint relevant they are! Very therapeutic!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
The very beginning needs a 40000 page blog lol. But ill try with what comes to mind right now. Im stuck. I have no where to live but here, and it is a blessing and a curse. Im not set up for sobriety here, unless my bf begins to LISTEN and take me more seriously. The only other place I have to go is my parents, and my mother freely gives me benzodiazepines. That isn't healthy either. So finally, I suppose, I am all alone in this fight for my life (I have codependent issues as well) and im finding it very tough.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Do you split rent with your boyfriend? Maybe you could move out and rent a room yourself in a basement somewhere for a low cost. He doesn't sound healthy for you. Definitely tell the doctor the full truth in private about your mother and the benzos she's given you since age 11. That is absolutely wrong. Go to an AA meeting and ask about any sober roomsharing boards they might know. As soon as you can, be looking to move.
I hate to say it, but both your boyfriend and your mother sound toxic for you at this point. You need to get sober, and you can. You want to. They are deliberately holding you back from what is best for you. Work to get free. You will soon build support and survive.
I hate to say it, but both your boyfriend and your mother sound toxic for you at this point. You need to get sober, and you can. You want to. They are deliberately holding you back from what is best for you. Work to get free. You will soon build support and survive.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Windancer 
Good morning. I have so much to say I cant seem to say it. Confessions, feelings, frustrations, anger..SHAME)
Sure I can dig it and most of us have been there too.
No need to confess. Only you can decide when it's time to stop. To your credit you're here. You couldn't tell me a damn thing. I had to find out the hard way I'd taken a wrong turn in this thing called life.
The doors of AA are always open. Take what you need and leave the rest. And just like this forum there are a lot of opinions on sobriety.
However, I've got no doubt you can find meetings that you'll feel comfortable attending.
Best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
Sorry you had a setback WD
You got dumped before the fence.
You know the drill. . . get back on the sobriety horse and try a different approach.
In the end, your know sobriety is up to you, and your mother or BF cannot make you drink or take pills.
That said, if you have to get away from them as triggers / suppliers do so without delay.
Don't feel ashamed or guilty. All of us have had our share of relapses for sure.
It's what you do in response that is important.
You got dumped before the fence.
You know the drill. . . get back on the sobriety horse and try a different approach.
In the end, your know sobriety is up to you, and your mother or BF cannot make you drink or take pills.
That said, if you have to get away from them as triggers / suppliers do so without delay.
Don't feel ashamed or guilty. All of us have had our share of relapses for sure.
It's what you do in response that is important.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
Im not set up for sobriety here, unless my bf begins to LISTEN and take me more seriously. The only other place I have to go is my parents, and my mother freely gives me benzodiazepines. That isn't healthy either.
can you see that?
you need to take the reins, WD
again not a beat up, just calling it as I see it
D
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Originally Posted by Windancer
So finally, I suppose, I am all alone in this fight for my life (I have codependent issues as well) and im finding it very tough.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Find A.A. Near You
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Originally Posted by Dee74
I think you need to set strong boundaries for yourself windancer - the way things are now, it's set it up so that others (bf, mother) are responsible for your sobriety.
can you see that?
you need to take the reins, WD
again not a beat up, just calling it as I see it
D
can you see that?
you need to take the reins, WD
again not a beat up, just calling it as I see it
D
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