walkbeformakrun

If any of you have read my posts before you know I strongly credited Antabuse as the reason I was able to get sober. I still do. I'm at almost 6 weeks now.

The longer I'm on it the more I feel the side effects. I've been on and off it before so I recognize them well. Difference is before I was just using it to help me take a break from drinking. This time is the first time I intended to quit for good. I think I'm far enough along now that I can do without the Antabuse. I think I can remain sober without it. I want to try that bc of the side effects.

Believe me I know the side effects from drinking are far worse than Antabuse. If I have to I'll take it the rest of my life. I just don't think I have to. Any thoughts anyone?

dwtbd

Antabuse or no( i dont have any experience with it) , you can be sober, don't think you can , know you can. Once I knew I could , I am.

wish you well

RobbyRobot

I think you'd do better to credit yourself for the taking of actions which have resulted in 5+ weeks of sobriety. Antabuse has likely been less of a crutch then you may think. Drinking isn't magically stopped by the taking of antabuse, rather its the effects of drinking while on antabuse that works to discourage drinking. So, you could stop taking antabuse so as to have less negative effects with drinking, and that would of course would create grim results.

Do you really believe you have managed almost six weeks because of anatabuse itself? I hope not. Allow for yourself the responsibility you have shown while taking antabuse. It really is a matter of context and perspective - it makes good sense to not take antabuse so as to avoid the side effects of the drug.

Its really on you to decide for yourself how much you have grown since your last drink. Its your call. I don't myself see any requirement to take antabuse indefinitely.

Congrats on your early success!

PurpleKnight

I'd say go for it, you and anyone can be Sober without it!!

waynetheking

Antabuse or not, just don't drink. Over time u will be happy about being sober every day. That drug creates fear of drinking. Dont fear drinking, rejoice that your done with it. For me its a matter of, thank god this night mare is over. Not how I can trick myself into being sober. Regardless of what method u use to not drink, given enough time the compulsion will leave you. Congrats on 6 weeks. Your doing fine!

walkbeformakrun

I know I would have been able to be sober for most of the time without the drug. The first few days I needed it a lot. After that, there were just brief moments of temptation, mostly early on, that hit me and I thought, wow, surely without the Antabuse I'd be drinking now. I have not had a moment like that in weeks. So I think I'm safe now. I still think early on I would have been weak and relapsed without the Antabuse. I hope it is not a false sense of security that leads me to think I can do this without a net!

The vast majority of people on SR have gotten sober without Antabuse. So I think I'm a bit unusual, weaker? In that I could not. I tried and failed to make it to day one so many times without Antabuse. Dwtbd - you say just know you can, well I know for a fact I could not. You can, I can see that. I failed. Well I'm going to find out now if I can after getting a head start with help from Antabuse.

RobbyRobot

I wouldn't think you're weaker for taking antabuse. We each make our choices as we make them. You were not having success without antabuse, and so your taking antabuse made good enough sense looking back, yeah?

I don't think false security is an issue. How much you believe your sober on your own merits, helped by your use of antabuse, is the real deal. Feel free to continue with antabuse or not. Either way, don't reproach yourself on making use of antabuse before, now, or in your future.

We all have a soft underbelly. None of us our bullet-proof when it comes to separating ourselves from what we perceive as our weaknesses. Having weakness does not in itself pre-determine we can't stay quit. In fact, weakness gives us every opportunity to examine ourselves and direct our efforts to learn how to become stronger in spite of our fears and perceptions of weakness. Weakness is not a dirty, unhealthy, and ill-fated experience if we can grow from our experiences. Your wanting to quit antabuse is an opportunity for such growth.

Whatever you freely decide walkbeformakrun, best wishes going forward!

dwtbd

I think you missed my point. I didn't know if I could quit , hundreds of times, I thought maybe I could and I would try and fail, hundreds of times.

When I told myself , I KNOW I CAN, is when I did quit, for good, I know it.

wish you well
you can do this

Dee74

I understand the compulsion to check our progress and methods with other peoples progress and methods but the bottom line here is we stay sober, we live, we win

'weaker' is just one of those pejorative terms that our addicted self will throw at us to keep us unsure of our footing.

I didn't use antabuse - but I absolutely had no confidence in myself or my ability to stay sober in the beginning...

a few weeks on and daily doses of SR, I gained that confidence.

You can do this, walkbeformakrun

D

Cow

WalkB4Run, how long is take drug to work? Is something you can has on hand to make you feel safe, if should be weak moment or something?

Also, pffff, weaker schmeaker. Very strong of you to step up and do what you need do to get it done. That is hardest thing of all, and I wish I would has have that courage of action for self decades ago.

walkbeformakrun

Unfortunately no. One has to be taking it for a couple days for it to start working. Good thing though is that it takes a few days to wear off too. So you can't just impulsively decide to stop and then be able to drink. I call it "time released will power."

Quote:

Also, pffff, weaker schmeaker. Very strong of you to step up and do what you need do to get it done. That is hardest thing of all, and I wish I would has have that courage of action for self decades ago.

Thanks Cow.

I'm just saying it seems others have the willpower to quit without help from this drug. I admire that. I get it that it is ok or even good that I saw my "weakness" and figured a way around it. I still admire those that could do what I did without any help from the pharmaceutical industry.

No, no self reproach or that of others. I often see people here on SR struggling with going back and forth between sobriety and drinking. I often chime in that they should try Antabuse for willpower.

I'd use the analogy of running a marathon. I wore shoes. You ran it bare foot. Wow! That is incredible. Others trying to finish their marathon bare foot and ending up on the sidelines with bloody feet? I'd advise trying some shoes next time to make it easier.

I see what you mean. This time I do feel like I know I can, deep in my gut. If I have to take Antabuse to make it work I will. Whatever it takes, I'm doing it this time.

Tonymblue

Youre doing a fantastic job. Youre stronger than you know. I say go for it. Youve got the "win" mindset. You can do it.

dwtbd

This time I do feel like I know I can, deep in my gut.


I love your gut instincts! And my bloody soles are envious of your running shoes, work smarter not harder !

you got this!

Hawkeye13

I think you were smart to figure out a way to get through the part that had always stumped you before.

You did it.

Now, you can move forward.

It will be there if you feel you need it for a tough time or something, but meanwhile, enjoy unmedicated sobriety--you earned it!

ImperfectlyMe

It reminds me of how I quit smoking cigarettes. I used patches and welbutrin for 8 weeks. While going through it I listened to other former smokers say that's not really quitting, it's cheating. You're not really cigarette free your on nicotine replacement....yadayadayada.....

It did bother me and make me question if it was just that I wasn't as strong as other former smokers. But in actuality I was setting myself up for the best possible positive quit. I was no weaker than the cold turkey warrior, just chose a different route!

Trust your instincts if you're ready to come off, give it a go. If it becomes to much off antibuse theres no shame in sticking with what's working for now. Eye on the prize! You can totally do this!
Congrats on 6 weeks!!!

LBrain

do what you gotta do, it's like sleeping with the light on so the boogieman doesn't get you at night. eventually you realize you don't need the light because you are no longer afraid of the boogieman. good luck.

You can do this without the light on.

walkbeformakrun

I'm still walking the high wire without a net. Now my wife and kids are leaving town for a vacation without me. In the past I would have found the lack of oversight as an excuse to drink even more than I would ordinarily. Plus with no one to talk to, it would seem I might need a drink. No kids events to be the chauffeur for, I have more opportunity.

I thought about going back on Antabuse while they were gone as a preventative measure. I don't think I need it though. I know I could go home tonight and start drinking and no one would know. Except me. I don't want to do that to myself. I think I got this. I will find out tonight.

SonomaGal

Great work on all your sober weeks! You have the strength to quit and stay quit, you've already proven that. If you feel wobbly you know you can go back on Antabuse. Giving it a go without it may be a good idea, but if you see yourself slipping backwards toward drinking you may want to consider it again until you feel stronger. No matter what path you choose, the longer you stay sober the more clear all this will be. Rooting for you!

walkbeformakrun

Thanks Sonoma. Good to see you. How is dealing with social anxiety going?

dwtbd

one foot in front of the other all the way across the wire, no ' net' difference

you got this