HisAngel

My exabf, age 47, whom I have kept contact with via email & text...is a life-long drinker, and admitted alcoholic, had yet another relapse recently after supposedly being sober for almost 3 years. He said his relapse lasted 5 months during which time he got a dui, totaled his car and was arrested. He's already been to court, was fined and was assigned community service and now has restricted driving privileges...he has a truck in addition to the car he totaled but he is driving his mother's car now...which I find suspicious in itself. He also says he has been sober for 85 days now. I hope hat is the truth because I do worry about his children losing their father if he succumbs to alcoholism, but I've learned from spending 4 years in a relationship with him that he does lie. Anyway, he is going to Las Vegas this coming weekend for a few days with an old high school (guy) friend whom he got very drunk with the last time they went on one of these extended weekend 'guy' trips to Miami. Of course I think it is a ridiculously irresponsible idea if he is sincere about his sobriety given he only has 85 days sober. He sees absolutely nothing risky at all about spending 4 or 5 days/nights in Vegas and got very angry that I would even be mention being concerned about the risks. IAs always, I did remind him what he does is no longer my business since we are not a couple any longer and I assured him I was only concerned about his health and wellbeing of his children. I'm just interested in hearing what your thoughts are on this...very short time sober and going to Vegas where the alcohol is seemingly free flowing. I guess I am needing to hear other alcoholics' perspective. Thanks in advance!

biminiblue

Why spend time worrying about what an ex may or may not do when he goes on this trip?

That is so many degrees of not worth worrying about that it wouldn't even be on my radar.

HisAngel

Thanks for your reply biminiblue...and I agree completely. Believe me, I worry a hell of a lot less now than I did when we were still a couple! Thank God! I was just thinking about the reputation Vegas seems to have and having been there once myself, I certainly do understand the appeal. I was just questioning my own thinking about it being a threat to an alcoholic's sobriety...especially early on. Just curious to know how an alcoholic would see it is all.

Boleo

Alcoholism is always a progressive disease. Always as in 100%.

Those 3 years of sobriety that he once had will not buy him any extra strength this time around. If anything, he will find it more difficult trying to make a comeback.

However, there is nothing that you can do or say to keep a lemming from running straight off a cliff. Your best bet is go and gain some Al-Anon experience.

PurpleKnight

When I got Sober I had to make some extreme changes to the activities I got involved in and the people I hung out with!!

A lads weekend in Vegas wouldn't be on my list of things to do in early Sobriety!! . . . but then again who knows what his intentions are for the trip, he may be intending to drink!!

soberjuly

I wouldn't want to be anywhere near Vegas right now! Last time I was in Las Vegas was to get married. We had a Rocky Horror Picture Show wedding. Frank N Furter married us, we had Magenta and Columbia, Rocky and Riff Raff. Of course, Brad and Janet were there and we did the Time Warp. It was a lot of fun but yeah, I wasn't sober. Sorry about the reminiscing...lol. Vegas can be a lot of fun but it is not a good choice for an alcoholic who has gotten in trouble with the law and is probably on probation.

Dee74

It's not something I would do, but y'know, people are free to do what they want, HisAngel.

I think the healthy thing for you to do is let it go .... unless you have some concern for the welfare of his children (I have no idea how old they are) in which case you can follow that up with the appropriate authorities?

D