Trying again
Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 164
Trying again
I posted a few times a month or so ago. Still didn't sober up.
I'm going to try to sober up again. I need to in order to save my life and sanity.
I see my psychiatrist and therapist Monday so it will be time to confess to them that I've been drinking. I've been lying about my drinking to them for quite some time.
Well... I guess... Hello again!
I'm going to try to sober up again. I need to in order to save my life and sanity.
I see my psychiatrist and therapist Monday so it will be time to confess to them that I've been drinking. I've been lying about my drinking to them for quite some time.
Well... I guess... Hello again!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Rosie. Glad you are here and that's great that you are seeing your doctors on Monday. Be honest with them, but more importantly be honest with yourself. You are the only one who can make the choice to actually quit.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AB, Canada
Posts: 299
Welcome back from me as well Rosie! 
I found it very hard to quit on my own, time and time again I slipped, then realized I couldn't do it on my own! Stopped lying to myself and to others about my problem, admitted it to myself and others, and moved forward, one day at a time. Our resident wise man Dee tells most of us to join a few clubs here, maybe for you the Class of July 2014, or One Year and Under's, the Daily Recovery Group, to mention a few...getting to know some of the people here, listening and sharing, has really helped me! We are all here to help and support you any way we can!
I found it very hard to quit on my own, time and time again I slipped, then realized I couldn't do it on my own! Stopped lying to myself and to others about my problem, admitted it to myself and others, and moved forward, one day at a time. Our resident wise man Dee tells most of us to join a few clubs here, maybe for you the Class of July 2014, or One Year and Under's, the Daily Recovery Group, to mention a few...getting to know some of the people here, listening and sharing, has really helped me! We are all here to help and support you any way we can!
Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 164
Yeah... It's been one hell of a month. Drank a ton. I'm diagnosed bipolar and my psychiatrist and therapist thought I was getting quite manic last time they saw me so they adjusted my meds slightly. I think I tend to drink a lot more when I'm manic.
Binge drank and had hallucinations a few times. Quite scary hallucinations that people were chasing me and shooting at me. Ended up hurting my ankle and getting all scratched up from running and hiding in some alley way. Thank god my boyfriend hunted me down and took me home.
It's really time to call it quits. It really helps that my boyfriend doesn't drink! He's not an alcoholic... He'd much rather just binge drink Mountain Dew lol
Binge drank and had hallucinations a few times. Quite scary hallucinations that people were chasing me and shooting at me. Ended up hurting my ankle and getting all scratched up from running and hiding in some alley way. Thank god my boyfriend hunted me down and took me home.
It's really time to call it quits. It really helps that my boyfriend doesn't drink! He's not an alcoholic... He'd much rather just binge drink Mountain Dew lol
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AB, Canada
Posts: 299
All of the Arizona products are delicious! Maybe you can convert the bf from Dew to Tea lol
And I'm betting that by being here this morning you're already feeling better about your decision!! Keep up the momentum!!
And I'm betting that by being here this morning you're already feeling better about your decision!! Keep up the momentum!!
Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 164
Thank you all!
So I found an AA meeting relatively close to me at 1:30 this afternoon I'm going to attend.
Do I just show up? Do I have to talk?
I kind of want to just sit there and listen.
So I found an AA meeting relatively close to me at 1:30 this afternoon I'm going to attend.
Do I just show up? Do I have to talk?
I kind of want to just sit there and listen.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Rosie88 
I posted a few times a month or so ago. Still didn't sober up.
I'm going to try to sober up again. I need to in order to save my life and sanity.
I see my psychiatrist and therapist Monday so it will be time to confess to them that I've been drinking. I've been lying about my drinking to them for quite some time.
Well... I guess... Hello again!
I'm going to try to sober up again. I need to in order to save my life and sanity.
I see my psychiatrist and therapist Monday so it will be time to confess to them that I've been drinking. I've been lying about my drinking to them for quite some time.
Well... I guess... Hello again!
I did the same thing for years. The end result was a three-year relapse from which I didn't believe I could and never intended to recover.
One way or another, our past does catch up with us.
Hope all goes well.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AB, Canada
Posts: 299
I remember my first AA meeting! Was scary walking through the doors, even for a 57 year old lol. Best advice, go early, stay late, and announce that you are a "newbie" You only have to share if you want, and as little or much as you want...good luck and you're starting off on the right foot! AA isn't for everyone, I was unsure of it as well, and the old saying, take what you need and leave the rest holds true!! But I find the fellowship and face to face is very helpful, and it gets easier after each meeting!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by Rosie88
I'm diagnosed bipolar and my psychiatrist and therapist thought I was getting quite manic last time they saw me so they adjusted my meds slightly. I think I tend to drink a lot more when I'm manic.
It's really time to call it quits. It really helps that my boyfriend doesn't drink! He's not an alcoholic... He'd much rather just binge drink Mountain Dew lol
It's really time to call it quits. It really helps that my boyfriend doesn't drink! He's not an alcoholic... He'd much rather just binge drink Mountain Dew lol
I had a philandering husband, and 2 kids, 1 and 3 yrs old. I had left him and was living with her. Well, I would visit her on visiting days and made friends with other families and they told me my cousin was involved with this guy and they told me I needed to leave with my kids before she got out (she was talking about having him move in). They even offered me full use of a rental apartment of theirs that was vacant free of charge.
My husband ended up getting a new job in New York and wanted a fresh start and I decided that was the better route as I wanted to keep my family together. The clincher was how excited the kids were when they saw their dad.
Anyhow, I endured tons of angry phone calls from my cousin. When she was manic she was so abusive. She would sometimes bang her head into a wall and she would drink, a lot. She lives in Minnesota and you can't buy booze on Sundays there. One time she had me drive her to a lake, it was winter and people were out there ice fishing, to see if she could get booze from someone. How dangerous! I was scared. She wasn't successful and just miserable.
Ok, I tried to contact her after awhile, wrote her a letter and she sent a nasty, incoherent letter back to me.
I recently tried to find her and all I found out is she lost her job, a job she loved. I found out because she sued the company and said they fired her for depression. I knew the real reason must have been alcoholism and I did see the word alcoholism in court documents but it was referring to a different section and I couldn't find that section. I think their point was, they can terminate for alcoholism. She knew that so she said they terminated for depression.
I since learned, by snooping, she sold the house father built and the house she said she would never sell, shortly after losing the court case. So she must have been banking on winning and didn't and had tons of legal bills and no job. I've tried and tried to locate her but she has a very common name so it's been hard. So I do think there may be a link between addiction and being bi-polar.
Second, it is absolutely wonderful your BF doesn't drink! Yeah! My husband also would rather have a Diet Pepsi to any booze. Do you live with him? If so, make home an alcohol-free zone. Now, the safest place for me is home, no booze. I might even start having tea at noon kind of thing, like the British do. It's a matter of replacing the alcohol rituals with other rituals.
Your BF sounds like a keeper!
Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 164
SoberJuly, so sorry about your cousin! Is she seeking treatment for her alcoholism or bipolar now?
But I definitely agree. There is a strong relationship between addiction and bipolar.
And my boyfriend is a saint! He's dealt with a lot from me! I do live with him so it will definitely be an alcohol free household. He told me he fully supports me in my decision to not drink anymore. I told him about going to the AA meeting and he thinks it sounds like a good idea.
I feel so bad for him sometimes because of how I treat him... Especially when I drink. He doesn't deserve to be treated badly.
What really sucks is that all my friends are big drinkers. Met most of them through my past serving job. Servers tend to drink a ton! So I feel like I will find many of them to fade away because we have so little in common beyond drinking together.
I'm hoping that going to AA will help me and also introduce me to people who enjoy doing other things besides drinking. We will see!
But I definitely agree. There is a strong relationship between addiction and bipolar.
And my boyfriend is a saint! He's dealt with a lot from me! I do live with him so it will definitely be an alcohol free household. He told me he fully supports me in my decision to not drink anymore. I told him about going to the AA meeting and he thinks it sounds like a good idea.
I feel so bad for him sometimes because of how I treat him... Especially when I drink. He doesn't deserve to be treated badly.
What really sucks is that all my friends are big drinkers. Met most of them through my past serving job. Servers tend to drink a ton! So I feel like I will find many of them to fade away because we have so little in common beyond drinking together.
I'm hoping that going to AA will help me and also introduce me to people who enjoy doing other things besides drinking. We will see!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by soberjuly
A couple thoughts. My cousin is bi-polar and an alcoholic. I tried to help her in 2004. Encouraged her to go into rehab, she did, but she met a new BF there who was in there because he had to be. It was either rehab or prison as he was a drug addict.
I had a philandering husband, and 2 kids, 1 and 3 yrs old. I had left him and was living with her. Well, I would visit her on visiting days and made friends with other families and they told me my cousin was involved with this guy and they told me I needed to leave with my kids before she got out (she was talking about having him move in). They even offered me full use of a rental apartment of theirs that was vacant free of charge.
My husband ended up getting a new job in New York and wanted a fresh start and I decided that was the better route as I wanted to keep my family together. The clincher was how excited the kids were when they saw their dad.
Anyhow, I endured tons of angry phone calls from my cousin. When she was manic she was so abusive. She would sometimes bang her head into a wall and she would drink, a lot. She lives in Minnesota and you can't buy booze on Sundays there. One time she had me drive her to a lake, it was winter and people were out there ice fishing, to see if she could get booze from someone. How dangerous! I was scared. She wasn't successful and just miserable.
Ok, I tried to contact her after awhile, wrote her a letter and she sent a nasty, incoherent letter back to me.
I recently tried to find her and all I found out is she lost her job, a job she loved. I found out because she sued the company and said they fired her for depression. I knew the real reason must have been alcoholism and I did see the word alcoholism in court documents but it was referring to a different section and I couldn't find that section. I think their point was, they can terminate for alcoholism. She knew that so she said they terminated for depression.
I since learned, by snooping, she sold the house father built and the house she said she would never sell, shortly after losing the court case. So she must have been banking on winning and didn't and had tons of legal bills and no job. I've tried and tried to locate her but she has a very common name so it's been hard. So I do think there may be a link between addiction and being bi-polar.
Second, it is absolutely wonderful your BF doesn't drink! Yeah! My husband also would rather have a Diet Pepsi to any booze. Do you live with him? If so, make home an alcohol-free zone. Now, the safest place for me is home, no booze. I might even start having tea at noon kind of thing, like the British do. It's a matter of replacing the alcohol rituals with other rituals.
Your BF sounds like a keeper!
I had a philandering husband, and 2 kids, 1 and 3 yrs old. I had left him and was living with her. Well, I would visit her on visiting days and made friends with other families and they told me my cousin was involved with this guy and they told me I needed to leave with my kids before she got out (she was talking about having him move in). They even offered me full use of a rental apartment of theirs that was vacant free of charge.
My husband ended up getting a new job in New York and wanted a fresh start and I decided that was the better route as I wanted to keep my family together. The clincher was how excited the kids were when they saw their dad.
Anyhow, I endured tons of angry phone calls from my cousin. When she was manic she was so abusive. She would sometimes bang her head into a wall and she would drink, a lot. She lives in Minnesota and you can't buy booze on Sundays there. One time she had me drive her to a lake, it was winter and people were out there ice fishing, to see if she could get booze from someone. How dangerous! I was scared. She wasn't successful and just miserable.
Ok, I tried to contact her after awhile, wrote her a letter and she sent a nasty, incoherent letter back to me.
I recently tried to find her and all I found out is she lost her job, a job she loved. I found out because she sued the company and said they fired her for depression. I knew the real reason must have been alcoholism and I did see the word alcoholism in court documents but it was referring to a different section and I couldn't find that section. I think their point was, they can terminate for alcoholism. She knew that so she said they terminated for depression.
I since learned, by snooping, she sold the house father built and the house she said she would never sell, shortly after losing the court case. So she must have been banking on winning and didn't and had tons of legal bills and no job. I've tried and tried to locate her but she has a very common name so it's been hard. So I do think there may be a link between addiction and being bi-polar.
Second, it is absolutely wonderful your BF doesn't drink! Yeah! My husband also would rather have a Diet Pepsi to any booze. Do you live with him? If so, make home an alcohol-free zone. Now, the safest place for me is home, no booze. I might even start having tea at noon kind of thing, like the British do. It's a matter of replacing the alcohol rituals with other rituals.
Your BF sounds like a keeper!
Like substance abuse, bipolar disorder poses a risk to the individual’s physical and emotional well-being. Those afflicted with bipolar disorder have a higher rate of relationship problems, economic instability, accidental injuries and suicide than the general population. They are also significantly more likely to develop an addiction to drugs or alcohol. According to statistics presented by the American Journal of Managed Care:
About 56 percent of individuals with bipolar who participated in a national study had experienced drug or alcohol addiction during their lifetime.
Approximately 46 percent of that group had abused alcohol or were addicted to alcohol.
About 41 percent had abused drugs or were addicted to drugs.
Alcohol is the most commonly abused substance among bipolar individuals.
Bipolar Disorder and Addiction | Dual Diagnosis
Not only are these figures much greater than people with bipolar depression as compared to the general population, but also in comparison to those with other psychiatric diagnoses. I've never treated a person who carries the diagnosis who didn't also have problems with alcoholism and other addictions.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by Rosie88
SoberJuly, so sorry about your cousin! Is she seeking treatment for her alcoholism or bipolar now?
Yes, your BF is amazing. And your biggest gift, for yourself and him, is to be the best you can be. You are dealing with a personality disorder and that is enough. When you pile the alcoholism on top, it's too much.
I have a traumatic brain injury from a car accident as a teen (hit by a truck, not a passenger in a car, I was a very square teen). Anyhow, I have had cognitive problems (memory, concentration, organization, saying the wrong thing and etc) ever since and was just Dx with post-traumatic ADHD, inattentive type.
I am on strong meds. Well, it's really one medication because it's Vyvanse (which is a slow-released Dexadrine) and Dexadrine boosters. A normal person would be wired, on me, it just wakes up my brain and makes me think and act more normal.
I have a cold today and I'm not taking cold medicine because I feel the ADHD meds are enough for my body to handle.
What I am trying to say is, just deal with the manic-depression the best you can. You can't help how your brain is wired. What you can help is your drinking.
To deal with being bi-polar is enough on your plate. The alcohol doesn't help. It took me awhile to realize that. What's worse is it makes everything worse! It may kill the pain initially but then you wake up and realize, not only are the problems still there, you still don't know how to solve them.
Well, amazing how since I quit drinking, I am able to tackle some of these things. They were never really problems, I just got overwhelmed because I think my brain was such a drunk. I mean even when I didn't drink, I think I was still affected by an altered thinking process for days.
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