ryan11

I have been drinking a pint of whisky/vodka every night usually between 5PM-9PM for about six years now. Every day I wake up motivated to quit drinking and as the day wears on my motivation starts to slip and the cravings start to kick in. By about 3PM I have already made some sort of excuse why I am going to drink yet again tonight. I tell myself I want to quit but every day I continue to pull in to the same gas station and buy another pint. Its like I am on autopilot and can't control it. Of course I wake up the next morning morning hungover, dissapointed and feeling like crap with renewed motivation to stop. Even if I do make it past the gas station and get home I find some reason to go back out and get alcohol. I'm hoping today I can get home, stay home and wake up tomorrow without a hangover.

Foolsgold186

You can do this Ryan11, stay strong!! Think how proud you'll feel of youself tomorrow.

Make a plan, see a friend just do something to keep your mind occupied.

Good luck and well done on getting here.

L x

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR ryan. It's definitely a tough cycle to break, but please know that there is no autopilot, you are in control of the ship at all times. It might not seem that way, but you are. Sometimes you need a little help to get control back - that's what we are here for. You may also want to consider some help right there at home - like an AA meeting or another recovery method that has face to face interaction.

Ghostlight1

Hello and welcome.
Oh boy, can I relate to your story. I mean really relate. I went through that cycle for ten years.
The breakdown of willpower, the drinking and the guilt, remorse and anxiety the next day.
Finally, after a scary withdrawal after not drinking for two days I was scared enough to do something about it.
I tried AA. I met people there who drank like I did and successfully quit. It was a revelation. I drank again, but it was never the same. Those people stuck in my mind.
Every time I drank, I felt guilty like I was doing something wrong. Then the next day, and I KNEW I was doing something wrong.
It's three years seven months sober for me today. You can do it, too. It may take some help, if you're willing. And help or not, you have to be willing. A will to not drink more than you want to drink.

My best to you. I know where you're coming from. Best to you.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Ryan!!

Sounds like you need to change up your daily routine, a new route home, leave your bank card at home, check out a meeting on the way, something to break your current pattern of life.

It's gonna take some extreme measures, but if it's worth it then it can be done!! You can do this!!

Climber122

I think most people here can relate to that feeling of powerlessness Ryan. I concur with Scott that considering a real change might work for you - for today. Just focus on getting through today without that gas station stop.

That gas station plan is just a thought, you can let it pass. You don't want to drink, that's clear from your post. Your mind wants that drink, and your body wants it, but you can choose not to give it what it wants. So when you have the thought, just let it go - observe that "there's that idea to drink again - huh" and then do something different. This will throw your addiction for a loop.

An AA meeting is great idea because you can jump on the web, google "AA where and when" and find one, now. You don't have to buy into it, but it's something different, it's free, and if you go there on your way home instead of your normal route, you may just be able to stay away from the gas station - just for today. If you do what you always did, you get what you always got Hang in there.

0percentABV

What everyone else says. Break the cycle. Change it up. I'm not an AA guy but it's a great idea. My first day of sobriety after a couple years of struggling to get my drinking under control I said F it and went in. And though it was my first and last time I went to AA I will always remember that day. It validated my problem, it was now real and was something I had to overcome. What I also did was therapy. I went for about a year, once a month which wasn't a lot but like AA it made my alcoholism real and made me face it and figure it out. I also researched addiction and spent hours on here reading stories just to get a grasp on it. But really you just need to do something different. Definitely something along the lines of AA or therapy, maybe even try picking up a book on alcoholism and stopping by a park to read it till it get's dark. Going straight home and not drinking won't cut it. You got to change. First day of the rest of your life, now's your chance to move on and enjoy yourself. Do it! We're all rooting for you!

Hevyn

It's good to have you join us Ryan - welcome.

When I came here I was drinking every day. It helped me so much to know I wasn't alone - everyone understood my struggle. I had no one else in my life who related, but I found the courage to change by posting and reading here. I'm so glad you found us - you can do this Ryan.

Rosie88

Hi Ryan! I'm attempting to do the same thing! Day 1 of sobriety!

IOAA2

Hi and recognize that like at AA your among people who understand each other and it’s nice to be understood. Reading posts on these forums certainly help understanding what has happened and can be very helpful in times of need.
No matter what method we settle on work is in order in following the directions to continued sobriety. As is said in AA “half measures avail us nothing,” it’s about NOT picking up the first drink along with other changes we need to make.

BE WELL

Dee74

Welcome Ryan

the support here can really help - go straight home & log in here instead of pulling into that gas station

Look forward to seeing you around

D

Tonymblue

You can do it. You, just like the rest of us, need to. I was the same as yiu. Guilt ridden all the time. My drinking progressed to a fifth a day. Morning to night. Vomiting every morning till i had a couple of shots of whiskey. Stay strong. Youve got what it takes.