CaptainWhip

I'm supposed to be tapering down. I'm supposed to not be taking benzos when drinking. That was the advice of my therapist. But things are happening in my life which want me to break them rules. I was OK the first two days. Then the third I took benzos with drink. Now I have more drink in my room than I should have and I just want to have it all. I want to go to the draw and grab them benzos.

Waterfalls2014

Can you just pour out the drink? End the deliema...

Sudz No More

You'll never break the cycle if you keep using. The only way to get past all those cravings and impulses you are having is time away from your habits. Nothing else will work better than time. You just have to suck it up and stop doing anything for a few months. That is the only way. Feeding your brain constantly like that will only keep you addicted.

sugarbear1

maybe talk to us about what is going on, maybe there is a solution to this. you don't have to drink or take those pills....

we need you around here!

Sudz No More

I only tapered for a week, haven't you been tapering for that long now? You must be close to the bottom now. If you are not then you are using too much daily and not making any progress. It sounds like you really just need to stop and stay stopped to get better.

CaptainWhip

I'm tapering with no plan, just winging it my way. On Monday i meet my therapist and he said we'll make a tapering plan together. I can't just stop. Withdrawal symptoms are bad.

CaptainWhip

I have no support network too. I'm a secret drinker. The only people I can talk to is on here.

Ruby2

Talk to your therapist and make a plan to taper if that is the only way. Tapering didn't work for me. I detoxed in hospital and at home. Taking benzos in combination with alcohol can be extremely dangerous and can kill you. It isn't something to mess around with. It can slow or stop major organ function.

Good luck. Many people are/are secret drinkers. That doesn't mean you can't find support. Maybe try AA for support with people in real life in addition to here?

PurpleKnight

Tapering only works if you've a pre set date which you will be eventually Sober, it's not a quick fix to deal with withdrawals either, they will still happen albeit at a potential lower intensity.

You can do this!!

GracieLou

And SR is wonderful. 24/7 support but have you thought about going to AA?

Instead of sitting in a room that is filled with alcohol and drugs and trying your best not to drink or take them maybe you could get away from them and try a meeting.

I could never sit and stare at a bottle of whiskey all day and not drink it. The thought if it makes me crazy.

CaptainWhip

What does detoxing in hospital and at home involve?

ScottFromWI

Detoxing in the hospital means you actually check into a hospital and stay there while medical staff oversee your detox. They take your vitals regularly and usually administer some drugs to keep you from having a seizure or other things if your detox is severe. They also do blood work and see if you have any deficiencies.

At home detox could mean a lot of things - doing it yourself without any medical help ( not recommended ), seeing a doctor first and then doing it at home, or some places even have assisted home detox where someone comes and checks your vitals multiple times daily and administers anyting needed.

zjw

I dont want to condone your behavior but in my case once i started I coudlnt stop. today could be awash for you. Unless you put your foot down about it.

I chose to taper I new i had to stick to my guns about it. each day i drank a hair less. I could tell this was going to be one miserable expeirence after a few days. and I was not happy about not getting my usual intake. I new continueing with the drink was no answer either. I finally said oh hell with it and went cold turkey after tapering. I'm not saying this will work for you but the point is I had to stick to my guns on the taper. Then I just accepted the fact that I'd be miserable either way and just quit.

and miserable i was too I wont lie. But then it got easier. one day at a time it started to get VERY VERY sligthly better. but that slightly better added up.

I did not use benzos or anything. I'm not your doc so I coudlnt tell you what to do. I probably should have I probably woudl have made my life easier. But in my case it might have backfired really badly on me too, as I really do love a good benzo to chill out and could easily get hooked on those things i bet. So in my case I didnt tell the doc i didnt bother and rolled the dice with the withdrawels. maybe not too bright but I felt I had no other choice.

zjw

keep in mind how drinking impairs your judgement you have a drink or 2 and it'll be a lot easier to reach for those benzos to toss down on top.

what many dont realize and that I never realized untill i quit was drinking even when your not drinking impairs your judgement too. It took a while for my head to clear after I sobered up. But even in my sober hours between my nightly binges my judgement was never veery good in my drinking days.

keep that in mind when you find yourself making bad choices your judgement really could be impaired sometimes you cant trust yourself.

Carlotta

I went cold turkey but I was not drinking that much: it was more how alcohol affected me mentally. I would not recommend cold turkey though since there are physical risk associated with it such as seizures, dts and even death.
I am not a fan of tapering but I understand that in the UK that's what the doctors recommends (jackasses) and it might be the only way in some countries if you don't have health insurance.
Generally a medical detox takes 3/5 days at the hospital. You might also want to go see your GP if you can afford it and ask if s/he could prescribe you something to help with the withdrawals symptoms. In the US, s/he might prescribe you librium for 5 to 10 days.
Good luck and of course you know that we are here for you and have also a 24/7 chat room where you can go.

CaptainWhip

Thanks for all your support. I see my GP tomorrow. I'm worried and don't know what to say. I don't know whether to start getting help with the GP or stick to the help of my therapist.

Carlotta

I would suggest that you do both: alcoholism affects us mind (therapist) body (physician) and spirit (feeling disconnected from the universe). I would also suggest that you check out your local AA. I know that for me, I need face to face support with other alcoholics

CaptainWhip

On the merry-go-round again. Drinking trying to taper. On my 3rd 9% can. Carlotta I can't use the chat rooms here; please nobody ask why. Don't mention it, will definitely get me in trouble.

ScottFromWI

Please be honest with your doc tomorrow and let them know the tapering isn't working, it rarely does. Don't be surprised if they recommend detox, it may be the best way to get started. Please be safe tonight.

CaptainWhip

Yeah looks like tapering by myself with no plan is not working. It's what they recommend in the UK but I had no plan, making one with my therapist on Monday. May talk to my GP about it tomorrow. I'm just about to drink the same amount as yesterday and have more stocked up.

Good news is I'm off the benzos. Bad news is I just did a couple of lines of coke with a mate.