No more Anonymity FOR ME - watched film "THe Anonymouse People"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 350
No more Anonymity FOR ME - watched film "THe Anonymouse People"
I just finished watching the film, "The Anonymous People". For me, it was literally amazing. We are as sick as our secrets, and I am not interested in keeping secrets. I may respect the traditions of AA, AL-Anon, etc, but I personally will be open about my recovery. yes, it makes other people in recovery uncomfortable - I get that. You choose for yourself what feels right for you. I've already posted on my facebook several times about my recovery, and I did again today. Yes, I'll get the finger wags and the shushes, but that won't stop me. Why should being in recovery be such a bad thing? Isn't it a good thing?
I am a person in long-term recovery. That means I haven't drank alcohol since August 26 of 2012. My birthday. Thus, I call it my soberthday. I grow one year older and add one year of sobriety.
I just loved how the film talks about ways that people like myself can walk out of the shadows and to refuse the "hey, shhhhh."
SILENCE = DEATH
My two cents. Take what you like - leave the rest.
P.S. Thanks so much for mentioning the movie here on Sober Recovery! I may have never watched it cause I didn't know about it! I'm feeling totally inspired. Politicians, actors, businesspeople, all kinds of people speaking out about their recovery. Just plain awesome.
Did you see the movie? What did you think?
I am a person in long-term recovery. That means I haven't drank alcohol since August 26 of 2012. My birthday. Thus, I call it my soberthday. I grow one year older and add one year of sobriety.
I just loved how the film talks about ways that people like myself can walk out of the shadows and to refuse the "hey, shhhhh."
SILENCE = DEATH
My two cents. Take what you like - leave the rest.
P.S. Thanks so much for mentioning the movie here on Sober Recovery! I may have never watched it cause I didn't know about it! I'm feeling totally inspired. Politicians, actors, businesspeople, all kinds of people speaking out about their recovery. Just plain awesome.
Did you see the movie? What did you think?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Didn't see the movie but I prefer my anonymity.
Being member of AA isn't something I need share with others outside of my family.
On the other hand if someone asks why I don't drink esp. those who knew me back when I was drinking I will tell them how I got sober.
Being member of AA isn't something I need share with others outside of my family.
On the other hand if someone asks why I don't drink esp. those who knew me back when I was drinking I will tell them how I got sober.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
yes, here is the link: https://b2c.aaws.org/p-386-anonymity-display-card.aspx
Like a true alcoholic I don't agree with everything that is stated. This may change over time for me and I remain open. I would recommend not being impetuous though, as coming out does not allow being anonymous again and much of the ignorance of others can affect your own life and to a lesser extent the institution of AA. It is something that I have been thinking about lately but have not come to any conclusions - hence my own post about the topic.
It is worth noting that with most movements there was discourse and friction in the beginning and not all right decisions are endorsed by institutions or its constituents.
Like a true alcoholic I don't agree with everything that is stated. This may change over time for me and I remain open. I would recommend not being impetuous though, as coming out does not allow being anonymous again and much of the ignorance of others can affect your own life and to a lesser extent the institution of AA. It is something that I have been thinking about lately but have not come to any conclusions - hence my own post about the topic.
It is worth noting that with most movements there was discourse and friction in the beginning and not all right decisions are endorsed by institutions or its constituents.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I can think of three reasons why a stance on privacy /anonymity needs to be considered , real hard, especially with social media. Health Insurances, Life Insurance, Car Insurance , and thats just off the top of head.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Originally Posted by dwtbd 
I can think of three reasons why a stance on privacy /anonymity needs to be considered , real hard, especially with social media. Health Insurances, Life Insurance, Car Insurance , and thats just off the top of head.
how is this going to affect me in these terms. Too late now to go back and say "oh I lied"
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
I've been a self employed artist for most of my adult life which makes many employer issues non existent to me but I admit my problem/solution (drunk/quit drinking) from a position of strength. After three years of sobriety I've come to realize that most people don't have the power to do what we have done. We are badasses. My drunk and smoking friends are going to drink and smoke themselves to death in plain sight, why should I keep my solutions anonymous? That said, I'm not the kind of person that enjoys bragging or making others uncomfortable--it's a line I have to walk.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
i fell about laughing at the ops post
all i can say is come back and re read this post in a year or 2 time i think you will find it funny to
good luck to you and shout it out from the roof tops my friend
if anyone takes a blind bit of notice of you then job well done
i love young sobriety the crazy things we get up to on this journey : ) i wonder what the next crusade will be ?
all i can say is come back and re read this post in a year or 2 time i think you will find it funny to
good luck to you and shout it out from the roof tops my friend
if anyone takes a blind bit of notice of you then job well done
i love young sobriety the crazy things we get up to on this journey : ) i wonder what the next crusade will be ?
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
I'm not anonymous when I share that I used to drink too much and that there is a solution, or several solutions. Maybe my experience can help someone else get out of that dark place and into living a beautiful life.....I don't have to mention AA, or maybe I might. I also know of other options, too.
I am an open book today, when I choose to share my experiences of life.....
I am an open book today, when I choose to share my experiences of life.....
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by dwtbd
I can think of three reasons why a stance on privacy /anonymity needs to be considered , real hard, especially with social media. Health Insurances, Life Insurance, Car Insurance , and thats just off the top of head.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
I have a feeling I've totally screwed myself with this aspect. 
I'm 37 and haven't really looked into life insurance but I have a bad feeling that this is all going to backfire on me bigtime at some point.
I'm 37 and haven't really looked into life insurance but I have a bad feeling that this is all going to backfire on me bigtime at some point.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i didnt particularly care for the movie but I think for some its a good stance for others its not. I dont think someone should be looked down upon becuase of something like this. Everyone has there problems. I know people who looked down upon me for my drinking and such who have much bigger problems of there own.
I dont like to wear it on my sleeve for the world to see but at the same time I kinda do think of it as a badge of honor its just something i keep close to me and only share when i feel I should. I suppose that could prevent someone from reaching out to me since they may not know but I also dont want to advertise it and have to take on judgement from everyone and there mother when i'm sure they got plenty of there own issues they should be tending too I'm at least tending to mine.
Its tough I just watched a documentary on steroid use in the end the message i got was everyones cheating the system in some way it seems everyones got skelatons in there closet. Its still crummy tho that people do some of the things that they do. But it is true people need to be more understanding of the people doing some of these seemingly terrible things theres reasons for it and its not always that everyones a bad guy either.
I dont like to wear it on my sleeve for the world to see but at the same time I kinda do think of it as a badge of honor its just something i keep close to me and only share when i feel I should. I suppose that could prevent someone from reaching out to me since they may not know but I also dont want to advertise it and have to take on judgement from everyone and there mother when i'm sure they got plenty of there own issues they should be tending too I'm at least tending to mine.
Its tough I just watched a documentary on steroid use in the end the message i got was everyones cheating the system in some way it seems everyones got skelatons in there closet. Its still crummy tho that people do some of the things that they do. But it is true people need to be more understanding of the people doing some of these seemingly terrible things theres reasons for it and its not always that everyones a bad guy either.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
if i recall too didnt this movie advocate for more gov / public programs to help with this? Not to bring politics in here but it seems ilke the gov and such doesnt ever do the greatest job with much I dunno how I'd feel about them getting more involved with this.
I'd rather see charities and such step in more etc. if anything. Its a touchy topic. Some might go so far as to say booze should be illegal but heck all sorts of other stuff is and yet we have plenty of addicts out there.
I think its crummy that the gov profits off booze and say cigarettes then turns around and trys to tell us there bad for us and we shoudlnt do them. Or raises taxes even more to fund some other thing etc.. Its like they talk out of both sides of there mouth.
I dont know the perfect answer here tho either.
In my opinion it shoudl all be legal and not taxed and we should all should not be going and getting hooked on the stuff but I guess i'm wishing for a perfect world.
I'd rather see charities and such step in more etc. if anything. Its a touchy topic. Some might go so far as to say booze should be illegal but heck all sorts of other stuff is and yet we have plenty of addicts out there.
I think its crummy that the gov profits off booze and say cigarettes then turns around and trys to tell us there bad for us and we shoudlnt do them. Or raises taxes even more to fund some other thing etc.. Its like they talk out of both sides of there mouth.
I dont know the perfect answer here tho either.
In my opinion it shoudl all be legal and not taxed and we should all should not be going and getting hooked on the stuff but I guess i'm wishing for a perfect world.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Someone mentioned my issues to my father in law that then became the topic of discussion with him and my wife he went on to talk about how an old friend of his just was in rehab for the same thing and he's doing better now and etc.....
I was mad. i did'nt want him knowing. he judges me enough already. I dont want him taking my issue lightly but I also dont want him to make it out ot be worse then it was either. frankly i felt it was none of his business to begin with and was angry this even made it to him. Because now I know its been / being discussed around the table etc.. when I'm ot there to defend myself. Lord only knows whats been said. He's done a good job at looking down upon me. He's recently been charged with a felony himself. So it bothers me that he'll judge my screwups etc.. when he has his own.
I dunno I guess i just like stuff like this kept on the down low. my own father doesnt even know but my father in law does because of some people with big mouths? *sigh*.
I was mad. i did'nt want him knowing. he judges me enough already. I dont want him taking my issue lightly but I also dont want him to make it out ot be worse then it was either. frankly i felt it was none of his business to begin with and was angry this even made it to him. Because now I know its been / being discussed around the table etc.. when I'm ot there to defend myself. Lord only knows whats been said. He's done a good job at looking down upon me. He's recently been charged with a felony himself. So it bothers me that he'll judge my screwups etc.. when he has his own.
I dunno I guess i just like stuff like this kept on the down low. my own father doesnt even know but my father in law does because of some people with big mouths? *sigh*.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 49
There is a difference in identifying yourself publicly as someone with long-term recovery, and identifying yourself as someone with long-term recovery as a result of AA membership and participation.
AA's Tradition 11 doesn't confuse the issue.
At the level of press radio and film, which most of us will never have the opportunity to experience, we must maintain personal anonymity. That is not to protect the individual, it is to protect the AA program.
If my neighbor identifies himself at the local pool as someone with long-term recovery, and he mentions AA, that is his business. No doubt someone in AA, at some point, will club him over the head with Tradition 11, but my neighbor's recovery and who he tells about it is my neighbor's business.
If my neighbor identifies himself as someone with long-term recovery and his AA participation, then points at me and says I am in the same group or same situation, then he has broken my anonymity and it is not appropriate. I can only say "not appropriate" because there is little I can do about other People, Places and Things.
This has happened to me more than once, and each time I've been less than nice to the anonymity breaker, but what's done is done. Life has managed to move along and I've managed to deal with my anger in Steps 4-9 without having a drink!
If I thought telling others about my long-term recovery would help a suffering alcoholic I'd do it. My experience while drinking is that people with sobriety had NOTHING that I wanted. It wasn't until I got sober and realized life on life's terms was a bitch, that I got interested in people with long-term sobriety.
AA's Tradition 11 doesn't confuse the issue.
At the level of press radio and film, which most of us will never have the opportunity to experience, we must maintain personal anonymity. That is not to protect the individual, it is to protect the AA program.
If my neighbor identifies himself at the local pool as someone with long-term recovery, and he mentions AA, that is his business. No doubt someone in AA, at some point, will club him over the head with Tradition 11, but my neighbor's recovery and who he tells about it is my neighbor's business.
If my neighbor identifies himself as someone with long-term recovery and his AA participation, then points at me and says I am in the same group or same situation, then he has broken my anonymity and it is not appropriate. I can only say "not appropriate" because there is little I can do about other People, Places and Things.
This has happened to me more than once, and each time I've been less than nice to the anonymity breaker, but what's done is done. Life has managed to move along and I've managed to deal with my anger in Steps 4-9 without having a drink!
If I thought telling others about my long-term recovery would help a suffering alcoholic I'd do it. My experience while drinking is that people with sobriety had NOTHING that I wanted. It wasn't until I got sober and realized life on life's terms was a bitch, that I got interested in people with long-term sobriety.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by dwtbd
I can think of three reasons why a stance on privacy /anonymity needs to be considered , real hard, especially with social media. Health Insurances, Life Insurance, Car Insurance , and thats just off the top of head.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by Gottalife
I have never had a problem with any of those things and I always declare my alcoholism, especially on health and life when they ask. If you make a claim, as I had to on my wife's life policy, they always go through your medical records with a fine tooth comb, and if there is something you have not declared, they will not pay out.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Doctor Bob once said that we remain anonymous at the level of press, radio, tv and films. To remain anonymous at any other level is just as much a breach of that tradition.
I don't wish to be anonymous to my fellow AA's. I don't wish to be so anonymous that someone in need can't find me. I don't wish to be so anonymous that if I end up in hospital, none of my friends can visit because they don't know my surname.
But I understand the reasons AA is anonymous and I will always abide by that tradition.
I don't wish to be anonymous to my fellow AA's. I don't wish to be so anonymous that someone in need can't find me. I don't wish to be so anonymous that if I end up in hospital, none of my friends can visit because they don't know my surname.
But I understand the reasons AA is anonymous and I will always abide by that tradition.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
