blackjay

I hear a lot of talk about "normal" drinking and how we will never be able to drink normally. I have to say, though...I have never wanted to drink like a normal person. For me, if I couldn't have 10 drinks, I didn't want any. A drink or two would have just been a waste of time for me. I wanted to get hammered or just not drink at all. I can recall several times when I turned down a drink because I knew I could only have one and it wasn't worth it.

suki44883

Well, there are drinkers, and then there are Drinkers and then there are DRINKERS. The latter are usually alcoholics. I think a person can be an addict before they ever drink or use. It's just something in their brain that just can't seem to get enough of whatever it is...alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.

JMHO

matt4x4

..........Like diaherra, its in the jeans (genes) and its very common. I know a few people who were drunk in the womb, so they say, I believe them. And alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, porn, excersize, working are all the same thing. I see this one AA character, claims to have X amount of years of sobriety, but is broke all the time due to gambling. The thought pattern hasnt changed, and thats what the primary problem is, our thinking. Our disease has nothing to do with alcohol. Alcohol is but a symptom of a much larger and deadlier disease. The way we think is messed up, it needs to change, or else!!!!!!!!!!!

Normal drinkers dont think of alcohol, they just sip it, or have one or 2 and leave it alone. Not so with the alcoholic. The alcoholic thinks of it, how it will ease the suffering, pain whatever. They think of how to get it, or when to drink. And when they take that frist drink, the disease takes over and you are along for the ride.

tomsteve

for me, this was normal drinking:
if I couldn't have 10 drinks, I didn't want any.

I was a wee bit nuts

aborkie

Yes, I've been to gatherings with "normal people" and looking at the alcohol available, my thought is I can drink all of that myself in short order. So I decline when offered.

matt4x4

Yeah, normal is all relative.
When sometimes happens often enough, THAT BECOMES NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The first time I was handcuffed and sent to jail, I was scared.
By the 3rd and 4th time, it was like a free bed and breakfast with uniforms and a schedule to follow.

Normal drinking to me was blacking out, ending up in the drunk tank, and going up on serious federal charges. Now to most people, that is crazy, no way would that happen to themselves until one day they are driving drunk (which is normal to themselves) and crash into a minivan on christmas eve drunk, hurting a family on their way to visit family.

anattaboy

Never hung out with normal drinkers (for long anyway)-always gravitated to those who drank like me, and later got anti-social with the whole thing. Am sure these folks exist but I know little of how they do it.

Arbor

Knowing this about yourself are you ready to make a plan to stay sober?

blackjay

You all made great points. A normal drinker wouldn't think about drinking that way, whereas for me it was the only way. I do have a plan to stay sober. I went to a meeting this evening and it was great. I'm going back tomorrow...and likely every day I can get there. For the days I can't get to a meeting, I have found online AA meetings. Those days of drinking all the alcohol I could get my hands on are over!

I decide who I am.

Raider

Blackjay, what is your sobriety date?

blackjay

This time around I have only been sober for two days. It's a start, though.

I decide who I am.

Brian316

Yeah I can't say I ever sat down and said you know tonight just 1 beer sounds great yeah I think I'll have just one beer. Or yeah I am just gonna have myself one drink of whiskey because it tastes good.....I hope you stick to the meetings my friend! Welcome!

30yrdrunk

I am Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and the active ingredient is alcohol. They say drinking can lower your inhibitions well it made mine disappear. So happy I don't have to do that anymore!

GracieLou

At first I thought I was drinking like a normal person because everyone I drank with was drinking like me. We got drunk. I thought that was the idea. I did not know at that time that it was because I was an alcoholic that I could drink that way. Most people cannot. I did not recognize the craving at that time.

Same here. I wanted to drink the way I wanted to drink. No restrictions. Be careful what you wish for. After decades of drinking it only took two years of isolation and solitude to push me over the edge.

Nonsensical

I remember once a doctor asked if I drank and how much. I didn't want to tell the truth, so I tried to think of a normal amount. Suffice it to say that my guess of 7-8 drinks per night 5-6 nights a week wasn't correct.

Patriciae

Normal? ........ "Normal" is a setting on a washing machine! lol


The Big Book discusses three distinctly different types of drinkers on page 20 and 21: the moderate drinker, the hard drinker, and the real alcoholic. I love the Big Book, it keeps it real simple.

How many times people have said to us: "I can take it or leave it alone. Why can't he?" "Why don't you drink like a gentleman or quit?" "That fellow can't handle his liquor." "Why don't you try beer and wine?" "Lay off the hard stuff." "His will power must be weak." "He could stop if he wanted to." "She's such a sweet girl, I should think he'd stop for her sake." "The doctor told him that if he ever drank again it would kill him, but there he is all lit up again."

Now these are commonplace observations on drinkers which we hear all the time. Back of them is a world of ignorance and misunderstanding. We see that these expressions refer to people whose reactions are very different from ours.

Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone.

Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason - ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor - becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.

But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink.

blackjay

I felt like 6 drinks was a reasonable amount to drink back when I was trying to "cut down." I insisted that it wasn't enough to get me drunk, but could help me relax (because I took melatonin or benadryl along with it). I was never satisfied with just 6, though, and I had to force myself to not get more on the rare occasions I attempted to cut down.

I decide who I am.

PurpleKnight

I drank to get drunk, if I drank now I'd do the same, from that viewpoint 1 or 2 beers is a waste of time in my mind!!

This mindset will always mean alcohol and myself need to go our separate ways!!

zanabanana

I have many alcoholics in my family who can't just take that one sip of one, or just have one can of beer or two with the family. There has and always will be alcohol when it comes to family functions and there are a LOT of family functions.

I thought I could drink normally at first. I never drank before I was 21. Never cared to drink after I was 21 until I went through some heavy, emotional BS and drink was the only thing that numbed it. Funny how I say that now. Even when I hate the taste of alcohol (usually just beer and wine) I never saw it as a drink. Only a drug I could calm my thoughts down with, and get through another night alone. Then it took over my entire personality now when I don't drink... I'm very sensitive to whom I look in the mirror at. I knew myself so well without drink. Then I drank heavily for the past 2 1/5 years, nearly everyday, and now the days I'm trying to stay sober I feel not in tune with myself. I've read so many times and heard so many times that how a person feels in the beginning of recovery. Not sure if every one experiences this but... I just feel like an outsider with myself.

So, those who are DRINKERS (alcoholics) can't call their drinking fun "normal." Anymore. It's become something bigger than we can control.

SoberHoopsFan

Same. 1 or 2 drinks would not even be fun for me, that was the never the type of drinking I engaged in. A "light" night for me would be 6-7, and it was a rare one where I wasn't hitting at least double digits. Have there been times where I did have the 1 or 2 and that was all? Yes, but very very rare and I always felt like I wanted more afterward and even got anxiety and restlessness from stopping after 1 or 2.

Whatever "normal" drinking is, my brain doesn't want it. Like you say, the best bet is to never have the first 1 and then there is simply no issue.