Drinking confession
I drank today. After work one of the girls invited me over to her acreage for a few post work beers. I knew I shouldn't have done it but I ignored that feeling went out there and had a few. On the drive home I kept thinking about buying more, calling my dealer, or maybe stopping in at a bar and having a few. I knew I shouldn't, so I drove straight home. I got home and in my half-cut state I realized how stupid this was. I poured the rest of my beer down the toilet. I'm not ashamed that I made a bad decision, it happens. I'm proud that I didn't continue to keep drinking, who knows what would have happened. I just wanted to confess it here, i wouldn't have felt good if I kept posting here without admitting it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 14
Usually I would go out for dinner with my friends and have a couple drinks. But as soon as I'd part ways with my friends I'd go straight to the nearest liquor store and continue drinking. Once I start even if it's one drink i can never stop. Your made a mistake but don't beat yourself up about it, getting sober is a process it takes time. Be very proud of yourself that you controlled yourself and didn't grab more. Like you said who knows what could of happened, be happy that you will remember this night and you won't be blackout drunk...remembering and not being hungover in the morning are amazing feelings
Kudos on stopping at a few, glad it didn't turn into a major binge.
Looking back at your last thread here it is almost eerily like a prediction of this very thing happening. I'm wondering if perhaps something in your plan was lacking the past few weeks months and you were building up to this without your knowledge? It's almost as if you predicted exactly what might happen, but instead of the outcome you suggested you ended up drinking. Not trying to shame you or anything of that nature...just a suggestion to re-evaluate your plan and see what might need to change.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rst-drink.html
Looking back at your last thread here it is almost eerily like a prediction of this very thing happening. I'm wondering if perhaps something in your plan was lacking the past few weeks months and you were building up to this without your knowledge? It's almost as if you predicted exactly what might happen, but instead of the outcome you suggested you ended up drinking. Not trying to shame you or anything of that nature...just a suggestion to re-evaluate your plan and see what might need to change.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rst-drink.html
Thanks soberclover : )
It felt liberating to flush the remainder of my beer. I could feel my thought process change after I had a few, but was coherent enough to realize that I was making a mistake. I don't like the power it has on me, nor did I like the actual feeling of being drunk, which is strange for me... That's the feeling I'm normally chasing. It's not something I want to make a habit of, but it was a mistake and I'm moving on from it. Last night reaffirmed the fact that I want to continue living a sober life.
It felt liberating to flush the remainder of my beer. I could feel my thought process change after I had a few, but was coherent enough to realize that I was making a mistake. I don't like the power it has on me, nor did I like the actual feeling of being drunk, which is strange for me... That's the feeling I'm normally chasing. It's not something I want to make a habit of, but it was a mistake and I'm moving on from it. Last night reaffirmed the fact that I want to continue living a sober life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
I drank today. After work one of the girls invited me over to her acreage for a few post work beers. I knew I shouldn't have done it but I ignored that feeling went out there and had a few. On the drive home I kept thinking about buying more, calling my dealer, or maybe stopping in at a bar and having a few. I knew I shouldn't, so I drove straight home. I got home and in my half-cut state I realized how stupid this was. I poured the rest of my beer down the toilet. I'm not ashamed that I made a bad decision, it happens. I'm proud that I didn't continue to keep drinking, who knows what would have happened. I just wanted to confess it here, i wouldn't have felt good if I kept posting here without admitting it.
The thing you need to do is confess it to your soul.
Hi zoey. I'm glad you wanted to share what happened.
I've definitely been there - a few times. Except I didn't stop myself the way you did. It is dangerous to tempt ourselves that way - but thankfully you caught yourself. Glad the beer went into the sewer system and not you.
I've definitely been there - a few times. Except I didn't stop myself the way you did. It is dangerous to tempt ourselves that way - but thankfully you caught yourself. Glad the beer went into the sewer system and not you.
Kudos on stopping at a few, glad it didn't turn into a major binge. Looking back at your last thread here it is almost eerily like a prediction of this very thing happening. I'm wondering if perhaps something in your plan was lacking the past few weeks months and you were building up to this without your knowledge? It's almost as if you predicted exactly what might happen, but instead of the outcome you suggested you ended up drinking. Not trying to shame you or anything of that nature...just a suggestion to re-evaluate your plan and see what might need to change. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rst-drink.html
I can control the urge to drink -- most of the time. It's those odd times, it feels like a switch has been turned on in my brain - these are the times I slip.
I feel like some people think I should be more upset that I gave in... But I don't think that would be healthy. I'm picking myself right back up - no point in dwelling on it. That would only lead to another period of binge drinking. I wanted to admit it though and I wanted to take some time to think about why I made that decision, which I've done : )
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Economy
Posts: 19
Moderation isn't impossible, neither is getting intoxicated safely. People who get alcohol dependent don't have to quit outright, and those who are told they do usually end up shamed and miserable when they slip up.
it's all about personal willpower. You literally did nothing wrong, and the fact that you were able to stop yourself when you felt that what you were doing was off-course for what you wanted should be empowering, not shameful. Not saying you should or shouldn't drink- that choice is up to you- just saying you didn't do anything wrong, and should be proud of yourself for stopping when you realized this particular situation wasn't right for you.
it's all about personal willpower. You literally did nothing wrong, and the fact that you were able to stop yourself when you felt that what you were doing was off-course for what you wanted should be empowering, not shameful. Not saying you should or shouldn't drink- that choice is up to you- just saying you didn't do anything wrong, and should be proud of yourself for stopping when you realized this particular situation wasn't right for you.
Well, moderation isn't possible for all drinkers. As well, neither is there a safe intoxication for all drinkers. Its not just about will power, imo.
zoey,
if it were me, i'd be devastated. something would have gone drastically wrong, and you bet i'd dwell on it.
i'd dwell on it not because of shame, or thinking beating myself up is a great positive thing to do...no, that's not the kind of dwelling i'd be doing.
but i'd spend time and energy dissecting what preceded, how i'd been feeling, what had i been doing or not doing or paying attention to or let slide that opened up the window for me to make decisions that led up to that.
and after that, i'd hope to have a better shot at changing things so that i wouldn't go down that road again.
no point in dwelling on it. That would only lead to another period of binge drinking.
that's an interesting thing to say. why would this be so?
and if it IS so, seems like clue where you could get benefit from adding tools to be okay with discomfort.
it's great you didn't slide down into an extended binge, but saying you did great and no big deal whatsoever isn't doing you any favours.
if it were me, i'd be devastated. something would have gone drastically wrong, and you bet i'd dwell on it.
i'd dwell on it not because of shame, or thinking beating myself up is a great positive thing to do...no, that's not the kind of dwelling i'd be doing.
but i'd spend time and energy dissecting what preceded, how i'd been feeling, what had i been doing or not doing or paying attention to or let slide that opened up the window for me to make decisions that led up to that.
and after that, i'd hope to have a better shot at changing things so that i wouldn't go down that road again.
no point in dwelling on it. That would only lead to another period of binge drinking.
that's an interesting thing to say. why would this be so?
and if it IS so, seems like clue where you could get benefit from adding tools to be okay with discomfort.
it's great you didn't slide down into an extended binge, but saying you did great and no big deal whatsoever isn't doing you any favours.
no point in dwelling on it. That would only lead to another period of binge drinking. that's an interesting thing to say. why would this be so? and if it IS so, seems like clue where you could get benefit from adding tools to be okay with discomfort. it's great you didn't slide down into an extended binge, but saying you did great and no big deal whatsoever isn't doing you any favours.
but I was proud of myself for doing the right thing and getting rid of the boose before it turned into a night of bad decisions.
I'm not being nonchalant about the experience, because I know moderation is a slippery slope for most including myself.
But There are healthier ways to deal with a slip then dwelling. Instead, I chose to learn something from the experience, get if off my chest by sharing it on SR and move forward.
I'm not being nonchalant about the experience, because I know moderation is a slippery slope for most including myself.
But There are healthier ways to deal with a slip then dwelling. Instead, I chose to learn something from the experience, get if off my chest by sharing it on SR and move forward.
I would be posting on this site as a way to get positive feedback for negative actions in order to pave the way for future relapses.
zoey,
have you heard a saying which goes something like this: "relapse happens long before the first drink"?
that's what i'm referring to when i talk about taking a long hard look at what preceded. what preceded not just in the few minutes before, but where did the door start to get opened?
what might you do differently from now on that would not allow this to happen again?
or, maybe, where are you at with wanting/not wanting this to happen again?
have you heard a saying which goes something like this: "relapse happens long before the first drink"?
that's what i'm referring to when i talk about taking a long hard look at what preceded. what preceded not just in the few minutes before, but where did the door start to get opened?
what might you do differently from now on that would not allow this to happen again?
or, maybe, where are you at with wanting/not wanting this to happen again?
Got mad respect for taking bold step to tell on yourself on this large forum. Only thing,hope I'm wrong, that it doesn't sound as if it bothered you per say or what happens as far as plan to avoid this happening again. Obviously not saying live in reegret. Are you in a recovery program that's in place?
Got mad respect for taking bold step to tell on yourself on this large forum. Only thing,hope I'm wrong, that it doesn't sound as if it bothered you per say or what happens as far as plan to avoid this happening again. Obviously not saying live in reegret. Are you in a recovery program that's in place?
I think my post was misinterpreted by many! The long and short of it, I made a mistake. I confessed my mistake. I wasn't as upset with myself as I normally am, because I chose to get rid of the boose while under the influence. I never do that. That was a big thing for me. Getting rid of the boose was therapeutic, I was lucky enough to have enough sense to do so. I know most times the boose takes over and I can't make a decision like that while drinking.
I'm not happy I chose to drink, but I'm not terribly upset with myself either. I'm not starting back at day one either. This is a journey, that was a slip and all I wanted to convey is that it's ok to make mistakes. It's a good thing to come forward and admit it here, especially if you don't have a great group of people u can discuss these kindof things with. Its Kindof disheartening to feel ostracized for posting something so intimate.
I appreciate the comments and feedback but I won't feel ashamed for a mistake. we each have our own way of dealing with a slip, I've often chose to keep drinking and using and not to reach out. This time was different. Keep in mind we are all different, have different ways of dealing with situations. Recovery can be a long road, life is a journey, I just wanted to share a bump in the road that I experienced.
30yrdrunk
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 89
Zoey,
Hope you find peace. I think the intent of the responses come from a good place. It's hard to know when to give someone a kick in the *** or put your arm around them. That can be especially hard to decipher from a forum such as this. Just remember what alcohol has taken from us. I'm glad your safe!
Best wishes,
TC
Hope you find peace. I think the intent of the responses come from a good place. It's hard to know when to give someone a kick in the *** or put your arm around them. That can be especially hard to decipher from a forum such as this. Just remember what alcohol has taken from us. I'm glad your safe!
Best wishes,
TC
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)