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Figured out my biggest trigger

Old 07-15-2014, 03:01 PM
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Figured out my biggest trigger

I finally figured out what my biggest trigger is. It's something from the past that brings up intense emotions and discomfort. I realize when this was triggered in the past, I usually got a case of the f its, mainly because I hadn't identified the problem much less found a solution. Now at least I know what it is. It just got triggered a little while ago, but since I'm aware of it, I was able to look at the situation and not overreact. I'm still bothered, but now I know why. Now I've just got to figure out a way to deal with it. Just thought I'd get this off my chest. How do you deal with your triggers?
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Old 07-15-2014, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Mirage74 View Post
How do you deal with your triggers?
I cope with them without turning to alcohol.

That said, I drank every day, through every possible situation--good and bad--so to say something triggers my drinking? I don't know. I accept that my alcoholism triggers my drinking. I cope with life sober.
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Old 07-15-2014, 03:17 PM
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Agree doggonecarl, not planning to drink. Just identified something where I turned to booze in the past. It's good to know I don't have to today.
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Old 07-15-2014, 03:21 PM
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I mainly agree with doggonecarl, but I did have triggers and it took me a couple of relapses to recognize this. One trigger of mine is I absolutely CANNOT go into a casino. I relapsed twice in Biloxi (only 60 miles away) and once in Las Vegas. I have not stepped in a casino for 6+ years, which is longer than I have been sober.
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Old 07-15-2014, 03:23 PM
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I have found out many things that trigger negative emotions in myself. What happens to me is my brain spins around it until it finds a way of getting back what I felt was taken from me because of those incidents. Probably some type of OCD but it works for me.
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Old 07-15-2014, 03:28 PM
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Yea, the longer I stay sober the more aware of stuff I just stuffed down and forgot about, or tried to, or tried to kill it with drink. Its both troubling and freeing to become aware of some of it, and hopefully learn to let some of it go.

I used to go to casinos a lot Taking. Probably not a good idea for me right now. I don't live close to one, so not really a problem.
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Old 07-15-2014, 03:40 PM
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One of my biggest triggers is music. I find it hard to listen to my old party music - for example Sweet Home Alabama - when I'm in a certain mood. I've started listen to new bands that I don't have old memories tied to them. It is good to know the triggers and be able to avoid them.
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Old 07-15-2014, 03:41 PM
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Mirage, would you be willing to elaborate a bit? I don't want to pry, and forgive if I am... but I'm curious. I agree with you, everyday of sobriety brings greater awareness.
I like to write about mine; short stories wherein I fictionalize myself but keep a situation real so I can look at it different or from another point of view. Poetry, stream of thought... Trying to be self aware; watching my words in conversations...
Thank you for sharing!
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Old 07-15-2014, 03:53 PM
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Inthekeyofg, this trigger is pretty personal and I've rarely talked about it. But is something I did a long time ago that I realize I've never come to grips with. Sort of a mixed bag - I'm glad I figured out what it is, but it makes me uncomfortable. I've stuffed it long enough, time to face it, I think.

And to respond to some of the other posts, I have many of the garden-variety triggers too - music, watching sports, going into gas stations, etc.
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Old 07-15-2014, 04:21 PM
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Hi Mirage!
I totally understand! I hope I wasn't prying. I too have triggers that I don't know if I'll ever want to bring into the open. I hope, in keeping them to myself, they don't become toxic while I'm on my journey to sobriety.
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Old 07-15-2014, 04:25 PM
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Journal it. My sponsor taught me to journal my feelings and analyze them using the steps. I didn't use the step part for a while but she did get me into the habit of journaling.
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:04 PM
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Will try Tamura, thanks
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:21 PM
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It's great to figure out your triggers, so you can bring that awareness with you next time they come up! I also have a lot of stuff in my past that indirectly affect my emotions in the present. Using alcohol was always the most efficient way to annihilate those unwanted feelings, but clearly it wasn't the best way or those things wouldn't still occasionally haunt me. Getting sober means finding other ways to cope with those feelings.

The garden variety triggers are the ones that I tend to struggle with more actually. Sometimes they just come up unexpectedly and there's nothing I can do about it because I didn't see them coming!
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:22 PM
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I'm realizing that other people, who know about it, don't want to let it go, or me to let it go. It's almost become a part of me. How do you get people to stop throwing the past up in your face?
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:29 PM
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I think, like with alcohol and substances, people become addicted to certain emotional and psychological states -- the good and bad. It sounds horrid, but it's true. A single thought (good/bad) can release a chemical in our body that we become dependent upon. Mix that with an external chemical and it's a toxic relationship that feeds off each other.
Regarding the past... this is also my issue. Grow from it, learn from it, and let it go. Sounds easy, I know! When others have realized that you've moved away from it and have grown from it they can't use it against you.
These are just theories that make sense in my heart/mind. I am learning each day as well. I am trying in earnest to take them from the theoretical phase and apply them directly.
Sigh! A big SIGH!
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:10 PM
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I just try to put the blinders on, my biggest remaining trigger is the visual cue from stores and signs. When I approach them now I just try to glaze over and not look in the direction. I don't allow any gazes or it sucks me in. So yeah, just try to ignore and it should go away.
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Mirage74 View Post
I'm realizing that other people, who know about it, don't want to let it go, or me to let it go. It's almost become a part of me. How do you get people to stop throwing the past up in your face?
Is someone bringing up mistakes you have made and trying to define you by it now? I did that to other people and myself in my own head. I started crossing out one hurt on the done to me side for every one I crossed out on the I did side. The whole thing just added up to we all make mistakes. Nobody should be defined by the worst moments in their life.
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:46 PM
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Originally Posted by silentrun View Post
Is someone bringing up mistakes you have made and trying to define you by it now? I did that to other people and myself in my own head. I started crossing out one hurt on the done to me side for every one I crossed out on the I did side. The whole thing just added up to we all make mistakes. Nobody should be defined by the worst moments in their life.
Agreed, silentrun, that's what it feels like. It's like there's a list of requirements for me to get sober, and at the very top is to remove people who hinder my sobriety. My past MO has been to want to retaliate. Finally seeing that may not be the answer.

It's amazing how helpful it is to get these thoughts out on this board and receive feedback. As opposed to just sitting and stewing about it in your own head. Even if SR provides me with just a slight bit of daily relief, that's a huge accomplishment. All my past relief came from the bottle.
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:54 PM
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That's tough, people bringing up your mistakes. Show them you're changing and keep showing them that you are changing because you are. They will see it eventually.
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Old 07-15-2014, 07:29 PM
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I am in AA and I was made the difficult decision to get a new sponsor and work the steps over again, honestly. My step #4 is like taking a scalpel and going in deep for surgery. I have vivid dreams almost every night and am dislodging things that have been buried for decades. I would say some of these are triggers. I have a program, a solution to deal with life as things come up though.

As an aside I find that meditation one of the most useful tools to calm myself and get centered, as well as urge surf so to speak.

I achieved the unmanageable part of step #1 with alcohol and drugs removed. I functioned with alcohol and drugs until they took over my life. But when I removed them that is when things began to really fall apart. This took months to build coping mechanisms.

In the beginning meditation really helped me.

Good luck and good job!
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