alwayssober1

I know that sounds ridiculous, but I think I was just a binge drinker, what do you guys think?

I drank 5 to 8 beers a night, I'm a big bloke, 6ft 3, 252 pounds (at the time) so that didn't get me drunk.

I never liked being drunk, I hated the out of control feeling, that's why I never drank more, preferred getting buzzed, never blacked out, never had hangovers, never vomited, never got into trouble with my family or the law. Stayed sober since the start of the year despite feeling very bad at times due to other issues.

I just drunk beyond the recommended safe limits, I liked beer.

I'm thinking that's why I'm struggling to see the benefits of sobriety at 6.5 months sober? I wasnt a hardcore drinker?

Raider

Dangerous thinking. Very dangerous.

Why do you think your post sounds ridiculous ??

alwayssober1

I don't know?.,....I haven't read a post yet of someone at 6.5 months sober who didn't feel better?

I feel the same physically and mentally as when I was a drinker?....

Eddiebuckle

Why did you choose to quit? Because it wasn't a problem?

ScottFromWI

It's really up to you to decide. Based on your message you drank more than you wanted to, and you didn't like the feeling. You also mention you drank beyond the safe limits. None of those are remotely close to what a "normal" drinker would do.

Climber122

By medical standards, your drinking was unequivocally "abusive," and could lead to alcoholism, although binge drinkers and "heavy drinkers" aren't always technically alcoholics. The disease has three distinct stages, and perhaps you headed it off at the pass in the early or middle stage. But 5-8 units of ethanol nightly is very unhealthy and will lead to health problems eventually. If you can drink something else that's healthy, why not do that? If it's because you can't get a buzz off of something healthy....bingo. You're in the right place

jdooner

None of us are the sobriety police and I believe there is only one way to definitively answer the question that is gnawing at you.

But the fact you are asking a group of anonymous alcoholic/addcits on a recovery site for permission to me suggests that is a voice inside you that is scared to go back out. To me this speaks volumes towards an alcoholic outcome. This is somethign I would do and I am an alcoholic and an addict and I let addiction suffocate my voice for a long time.

I have followed your posts...sometimes we struggle when we don't know what we want. If I just removed alcohol from my life I would be drinking again by now. I had to create a new life.

doggonecarl

You been miserable almost the whole time you've been not drinking. Practically the definition of alcoholism.

But if you don't think you are an alcoholic. Fine. Your call. Don't expect too many folks here to agree. We all tried the same BS ourselves.

Jimboagust

Depends on how you define "alcoholic." You don't have to be repeatedly passing out, vomiting, or getting into trouble with the law to fit the DSM-IV criteria for alcohol dependence or abuse (used by many healthcare professionals), for example.

If you "never liked" getting drunk, why not just stay sober? It's healthier, in a variety of ways. If you do really love booze and think that you could moderate, go for it. But it gets progressively harder to stop each time.

Lastly, the benefits of sobriety are sometimes harder to discern than the "benefits" of drinking. When we drink the benefits are immediate, having to do with short-term gratification, flooding the monkey-brain with feel-good dopamine. It's like any other short term pleasure: a shadow of a joy that flickers in our consciousness and then is gone. The benefits of sobriety are more long-term, shaping your character, your ethos, giving you discipline and procuring meaning through commitment.

That being said, if you honestly believe you can moderate, and that the experiment is worth it (i.e. that the pleasure of moderate alcohol use is worth the possible pain and damage of regressing into abuse), then go for it dude.

thotful

The lack of alcohol in my system wasn't the difference for me (I was a binge drinker so I could fool myself good - I was fine most of the time - except those binges). I probably drink far less than other alcoholics, but still have the problem just the same. Alcoholism progresses in stages and gets worse and worse - I am one of the lucky individuals that simply stopped it early - ie, had a higher bottom. You'll have to decide for yourself if you've simply stopped the disease earlier.

I've heard people say there's a difference between white-knuckling it through abstinence and being sober. Being sober entails figuring out how to cope with our problems when we used to use the drink to do that. My major use was because of social anxiety. Now, abstinence isn't enough, I've got to work through my demons. Why do I feel so alone even when I'm with friends? Why do I feel so anxious in social situations? etc. I've got a lot of work to do on myself. Alcohol -- well, that's the enemy that has disconnected me from myself for too long. It's like a friend of mine that I thought was awesome until I realized that he/she is behind most/all of my problems in life. Alcohol is not my friend.

Meetings might help you a great deal (and reading on SR!). You're not alone in questioning this stuff. I questioned the alcoholism thing too (high functioning) and mentioned it in meetings. A member remarked that the only requirement for attending AA was the desire to stop drinking - that's it. I didn't acknowledge the disease until I had been sober for quite some time and had done some soul searching/moral inventory of my own life (plus I heard my own story when other alcoholics told their stories time and time again).

That's my personal story. Take what you like and leave the rest.

SoberLeigh

Hi AlwaysSober.

I totally agree with Raider - dangerous thinking. 5 to 8 beers is definitely over the recommended levels for safe/healthy drinking. I am not a betting person but, if I were, I would bet that those 5 to 8 beers would put you over the legal driving limit for blood alcohol content.

Hope whatever decision you make about future drinking is the right one.

alwayssober1

Sorry, I mean the odd time I did get drunk I never liked it, so I only drank to get a buzz, never continued drinking past the limit that I became drunk?..

But I guess your right.....normal drinkers don't drink over the recommend limits everyday.

PurpleKnight

If you don't have a problem, then push out your chair and switch off your PC!!

There are many others in need of support, good luck to you!!

EndGameNYC

Not "feeling better" after 6.5 months of sobriety isn't the same as not having a problem with alcohol, or as not being an alcoholic, anymore than not being an expert in physics after a full semester at university signifies that you are not capable of being a top-notch physicist.

ScottFromWI

Normal drinkers don't spend months on recovery forums either...just sayin ;-)

It's very, very common to start feeling the way you do once you've been sober for a while. The telltale sign though is what would happen if you went back to drinking again - have you tried before? What was the result?

I've actually had thoughts like that myself. I've even had a good friend who I used to do AA meetings with tell me that he doesn't think I'm an alcoholic because i've been able to stay sober with just SR.

Bottom line though I KNOW that I cannot drink responsibly. Even if I can control it initially I always return to binge drinking. I don't even really so much care about the term alcoholic - i just know I can't drink responsibly and I'm better off without it.

Pipefish

One of the markers of my own alcoholism was the level of obsession with alcohol, the extent to which decisions I made placed alcohol and access to it above everything else, even when all past evidence & experience might suggest me & drink were not a good match.

I don't generally find it helpful to share quantities of alcohol consumed as a marker - my own identification with that will vary. What tends to help me identify with other alcoholics is how we feel, the emotions that drove my drinking, the thought patterns, that's the stuff that helps me identify as alcoholic, not the quantities consumed or how frequently that happened

Wish you well

Hollyanne

Why are you unhappy right now, today?
What is wrong?
You may not be an alcoholic, only you can say that.
But, why did you drink?
Why were you "not happy"?
Maybe you are depressed, anxious, grieving, disappointed?
What are your feelings?

alwayssober1

Arrhhhhh! Lol, I sound like an alcoholic in denial, sad, sad, sad, I'm asking permission to drink again!

I'll be honest I never quit because of addiction, I quit to feel healthier, purely to feel better, but here I am on an alcoholics anonymous support page, sorry if a caused any offence, I don't really know where I stand?

I must be an alcoholic if I feel bad without it? I've got the classic case of denial....

ScottFromWI

Let me ask you this - what do you do on a daily basis to work on your sobriety? Looking back through all of the threads you have started here, just about every one has something to do with you not feeling good, wondering when things will get better, etc.

If you simply "don't drink" things probably aren't going to get all that much better.

Hollyanne

No, not denial necessarily, just confused.
I am 4 yrs sober in October (hopefully).
Still not happy.
There is a whole gamut of emotions to deal with.
We are a wee bit complicated.
Talk/ask away.