Dee74

I'm glad you called yourself out on your own BS there AS.

It really doesn't matter whether you're a binger, an all dayer, a spree drinker or what...when the solution you keep coming back to time and again over months, is alcohol, I think that's pretty indicative of a problem.

I'm really barracking for you to find other solutions man. How's that going?

D

silentrun

That change didn't really start for me until around month 9. It all depends on how much damage you did. Maybe you didn't do all that much damage and you have a depression problem.

EndGameNYC

You never said what else it is that you do to support your sobriety besides putting down the drink and being a member here. Making meaningful changes in our lives, and not just "making plans," has worked out well for many of us.

alwayssober1

Hi dee, your right, alcoholic, binge drinker, heavy drinker, its all alcohol, it is an obsession, it is a problem.

Still trying to establish myself with employment, all the usual crap, but I can't just run to the drink when life isn't going to plan.

Rather than blame my life not going right I'm just going to deal with alcohol addiction separately, there are plently of reasons to drink but I'm not going to because i cant moderate alcohol...end of.

alwayssober1

I don't know, to be honest. I dont know what I'm doing, what I want to do, a lot of it is depression etc. The first change I'm trying to make is getting a job, not going too well but im still trying.

Hawkeye13

Stopping alcohol is just the first step.

Building a happy, meaningful life without alcohol takes some hard work.

You have to look at the feelings the drink was helping you avoid, and to fill
your life with activities and connection that are meaningful to you.

If you've been isolated or only with drinking buddys, this will take some effort
and reprogramming on your part.

The results are well worth it, however. . . life can be whatever you choose.
Just not drinking didn't make me happy either.

ImperfectlyMe

Quitting drinking is absolutely not a magic wand!! Actually for a good bit there it can feel as though things could actually be getting worse. Hang in there when there is great discomfort that also holds the hand of great growth.

Aellyce

Yes, Always, it's all about implementing the plan. Of course it's good to have a plan at first, or at least an idea what to try next.

If it helps, I'm struggling myself... not with alcohol now, but with my internet/technology problem that I have been aware of for a very long time and I wrote about it here on SR a short while ago. I got tons of good suggestions and of course I've done my own research as well... then made plans. I love to make plans, especially decent sober plans. Constructing strategies is one of my strengths that I use all the time at work and other areas of life. But with the private plans like this, I often tend to get stuck in the beginning, stuck in my head and not move into the implementation phase fast enough. Especially with addictions... This internet thing of course is not toxic the way alcohol is, but it holds me back in certain ways... and I know exactly well what I should do. I know... DOING it is always harder, or at least starting, for me at least. But I'm determined that I'll tackle this as well.

Then I wonder, what next - what will I get addicted to next - maybe the Triangulum Galaxy?!

So yeah, it certainly can be frustrating to handle ourselves at times, but if we don't, then what happens? Let's do this thing! I also like to believe that there must be a way to TRULY break this whole *** chain of addictions!

thotful

Always, please try not to beat yourself up so much. Take heart in the fact that you're being honest and seem to be listening very intently to the experience/strength/hope of other members. You may not like certain parts of yourself, but you will always be a person worthy of happiness (heck the AA moral inventory I completed told me to identify twice as many assets as flaws/defects to make sure I wasn't too harsh on myself). When I observe what feels like fearless honesty and courage, I am inspired to not drink another day. What you're investigating is scary - but guess what? it takes courage to bog through the stuff that scares the crap out of us - absolute courage. Uncertain? you're not alone in that. Keep listening - keep reading.

Keep on the fight, brother, many of us have been there, have the same feelings, and we struggle together.

Thanks bro.

Arbor

Amen!

KAD

**posted a long post before realizing the thread was already 3 pages long and what I had to say is irrelevant now!**

NightsWatch

If I may be so bold, I just want to point out that you did nothing wrong creating this thread and it wasn't "ridiculous" or "selfish" and yet you seem to be really judgmental toward yourself about it. You also seem (again, feel free to tell me to f-off) to be eager to please in some of your posts, and deferring to others something you ultimately need to decide for yourself. YOU are in charge of your life. YOU are capable of thinking for yourself and making decisions. YOU know yourself best. And if you don't, that's a good place to start if you still feel so unhappy even though you think you "should" feel better after half a year of being sober. It's always great to get other people's perspectives because maybe others see something you don't, but at the end of the day, you make up your own mind. You're going to go through life with people telling you all sorts of things (including me) but the constant is you. You get to decide who you are and what you believe.

You mention depression, which is something I'm also struggling with and it is my opinion (and I know many would disagree), that it is my primary problem, and my drinking problem is a symptom of that. I decided that I needed to get my depression under control concurrently with my drinking problem. Personally, I need to work on both because when I stopped drinking, I suddenly started experiencing my depression more acutely since I wasn't drowning it with alcohol anymore. I don't think I was actually more depressed than before, but I was getting back in touch with my feelings again. Being confronted with them made me want to drink again, so I took a look at my situation and decided that I need to deal with it now, or it would interfere with my sobriety. I know my approach isn't the "right" answer for everyone, but I feel strongly that it's right for me.

From someone who has been there (both alcohol and depression), I just want to suggest one thing if you aren't doing it already. Research has shown that exercise is just as effective (and in my experience, more effective) than anti-depressants for moderate depression. Your lack of motivation, generally feeling blah, questioning yourself, is something I am intimately familiar with, and it's something that kept me stuck. I can't tell you that working out regularly has given me the answers I'm searching for or my life is suddenly great, but it has done a lot for bettering my general mood (and physical health!), which has helped me weather the stresses of life better. The thoughts are the same - "I don't know what I'm doing with my life" - but that thought could either fill me with self-loathing in one instance, or a general dissatisfaction in another. I prefer sweating a bit and getting the latter. Anyway, it's just a suggestion from someone who has struggled with the same things. Also, I just want to say that if you do try this and it doesn't work, keep looking. A signature mark of depression is hopelessness and you have to figure out a way to not let that pull you down. Enough of my unsolicited advising. Wishing you the best!

MIRecovery

There is one thing that is an absolute certainty. It always gets worse. Question? Has your drinking slowly progressed over the years? Be honest with yourself and your answer will determine your recommended path

matt4x4

Interesting............

Well, if you are questioning whether you are an alcoholic, you probably are.
Normal drinkers dont go to an addiction forum and tell everyone they arent alcoholic.

Its not the amount of alcohol that you drink that defines you as an alcoholic.
Its what alcohol does to you.

I too am a binge drinker myself, I could stay sober for months easy, no problems at all, could stay sober for a year no problems, 3 years no problem, then after awhile I could hardly draw a sober breath for a week. Something happened, my girlfriend left me, someone looked at me the wrong way at the grocery store, someone cut me off in traffic and I "THOUGHT" hey I've been sober for X amount of days, I am not an alcie, I dont sit under a bridge, I got a million dollar house, 3 cars and a white picket fence. Low and behold in no time I am sucking on a bottle, many bottles. Like a baby sucks on a baby soother, I was sucking on a bottle or can exactly like a little baby.

I just find it interesting is all, that you are questioning whether you are or not an alcoholic, and you ask it in a addictions forum and not to your doctor.

alwayssober1

Thanks for your support, actually years ago when I went to the doctors for something unrelated and my doctor asked me how much I drink, I was honest with him, trying to justify it with the "but I'm only young that's the same amount my mates and family drink, I don't think I have a problem", he then swiftly replies" I do think you have a problem with alcohol...", I didn't take it seriously, just shrugged and said I would cut down on my drinking.

I know this is only an excuse, but I also think no one around me insisted I had a problem, family, dad, brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, friends (they're probably Alkies as well! Lol) etc, they all drank the same amounts, no one pulled me aside and said you have a problem, your an alcoholic, no one would even blink if I was to pick up again.

People have wives, husbands, kids, parents, siblings, friends who would actively discourage them from drinking again, given an ultimatum to get sober, stay sober or lose everything, I don't have that.......I would be passed a beer by my brother at home and told "go on, have a beer, don't be so boring" and my parents would tell me I'm not alcoholic, your just bored...blah, blah, blah.......then I repeat what is said on here and I'm instantly put in my place! Lol....

But what I can't deny is my own thoughts, here I am, trying to justify drinking like an alcoholic in denial, I just thought I sounded ridiculous because I've been here 6 months, struggling with sobriety and im still deluded to say i don't have a problem.....on a Alcoholics Anonymous Support Page!

Yeah...that all perfectly normal!....lol.

IOAA2

Hi. I don’t have a problem with alcohol because I don’t drink it. I cannot drink alcohol in safety, it’s that simple.
Being sober, alcohol free, is different to me than being in recovery. As I discovered in AA the alcohol is like the tip of an iceberg. It covers more than it shows. I/we need to clear up and work on the reasons we drank which you seem to be aware of. I became comfortable in my own skin when these characteristics were worked on and became has beens in many cases. The work is continual but it sure beats the alternative.

BE WELL

GracieLou

I would venture to say that most people that do drink, don't do it everyday.

I was here in 2003. I was in denial. I got drunk and never looked back. I drank another decade. I suggest that you do not do the same.

nigey1

You gave yourself a pretty harsh rap there, lazy pessimistic etc..

Need to ease up a bit on yourself.

You caught yourself early, owned up to it here in public and called it for what it was. That's honest, humble and straight up.

Pretty good foundation to build on if u ask me.

Hawkeye13

SR isn't an "AA support page", for the record.

Lots of us got and stay sober without using AA, but it has been very helpful for many who are here.

There are many roads to sobriety, but they all begin where you are--realizing you have a problem with alcohol and are committed to doing something about it.

Keep posting and reading about addiction--these will help you with your planning.

Afteralcohol

Always, if you'll forgive a newbie butting in: firstly, you started a thread rather than picking up a beer, so that's great. You've listened to the responses and taken them in, so that's great too. You've helped others with your thread - I'm nowhere near nine months (nine months is great!), and it's useful to me to be remind that there's a major wobble at around that mark, so that's great. Look how many kinds of great you are!

I would also point out that your drinking is likely to have been influenced and enabled by your family, so they're not the best yardstick for judging anything.