No More Turning Away
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Thank you so much, many individual comments to make in the am, have to get back to the last bonfire
ran back to make a sleepy time tea... Love to all thanks for always being in my pocket. I've never felt alone.
ran back to make a sleepy time tea... Love to all thanks for always being in my pocket. I've never felt alone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
I am honored to know you 
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away"
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting it's shroud
Over all we have known
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away"
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting it's shroud
Over all we have known
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
wow, IM, that was quite the situation and the "please drink" coming from hubby...ouch.
yay! you don't drink for YOU!
that's the BEST thing to know!
hm.....sounds, too, though, like hubby has moments of feeling like a jailer, with responsibilities that aren't his.
hope this moment and your response to it brought clarity to him as well.
yay! you don't drink for YOU!
that's the BEST thing to know!
hm.....sounds, too, though, like hubby has moments of feeling like a jailer, with responsibilities that aren't his.
hope this moment and your response to it brought clarity to him as well.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,350
Awesome IM. I believe we are all getting a chance to fix a wrong turn. Your music selection is amazing. I am listening to it right now. I have to tell you that you have been one of the white stones leading me out of the darkness. Enjoy your freedom AO.
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite in a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
Mesmerised as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite in a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
Mesmerised as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
Wow. HEAVY. beach vacations are our favorite get-aways. since going sober, i have gone through it in my head. we havent gone yet. i have to admit that this type of situation is the hardest for me to really picture. with almost EVERYONE just buzzed all the time. me with my sprite...
i remember clearly waking up in bed feeling like death at 10am, with one of the world's most beautiful beaches about 300 yards from my room. i drug myself out of bed (spouse had been up since 8 probably) by repeating in my head that sleeping it off was not an option at the price we were paying. we had saved for months.
BARELY made it through breakfast, as looking at all the gorgeous food that the all-inclusive laid out only made me queasy. finally caved with a pre-noon double screwdriver. the fact that i felt completely better in about ten minutes was not lost on me. im a nurse. my choice? dry out on vacation!? hell no. time to "keep on truckin". how lame. paid for that decision once home. not pretty.
i sometimes wonder if i would have really paid attention to the signs then, could i have stopped my descent into polypharm abuse and uncontrolled drinking. then i could drink with the rest of them next time im on the beach! off the table now. although i am firm as a non-drinker now, i do have sneaky feelings of loss. if i allow myself to get upset about it, i get mad that alot of folks barely even think about something i had to research like i was working towards a degree.
You are a hero. sounds like you are the better for it. I KNEW it could be done! thanks for the post.
i remember clearly waking up in bed feeling like death at 10am, with one of the world's most beautiful beaches about 300 yards from my room. i drug myself out of bed (spouse had been up since 8 probably) by repeating in my head that sleeping it off was not an option at the price we were paying. we had saved for months.
BARELY made it through breakfast, as looking at all the gorgeous food that the all-inclusive laid out only made me queasy. finally caved with a pre-noon double screwdriver. the fact that i felt completely better in about ten minutes was not lost on me. im a nurse. my choice? dry out on vacation!? hell no. time to "keep on truckin". how lame. paid for that decision once home. not pretty.
i sometimes wonder if i would have really paid attention to the signs then, could i have stopped my descent into polypharm abuse and uncontrolled drinking. then i could drink with the rest of them next time im on the beach! off the table now. although i am firm as a non-drinker now, i do have sneaky feelings of loss. if i allow myself to get upset about it, i get mad that alot of folks barely even think about something i had to research like i was working towards a degree.
You are a hero. sounds like you are the better for it. I KNEW it could be done! thanks for the post.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons 
Thank you, Imp, for this wonderful inspiring post. I have missed you here. Vacations are so tough because they really highlight the fun side of drinking and minimize the real issues that come along with a drinking life. The reality of it, though, is that most of those people will go back and hardly drink at all. They might let loose on vacation, because it is vacation, but they will go back to normal without giving it a thought. Unless they are active alcoholics, then they will continue to be slaves to their drug. Proud of you! Seems like things are going better with your husband, too?!?
. I realized I have been holding so much resentment inside toward him for taking the option of drinking off the table. I've built a wall between he and I because if I'm honest I hated him for taking away the only thing in my life that had offered me a little escape, (alcohol). It was easy to paint him the villain make it all his fault after all I've felt that in many regards my life is all about restriction and he is the enforcer. I've come to question how much of this is his doing vs. how much I perceive it to be. I've completely absolved him of owning my sobriety. Truth is yes he demanded it initially, however it was truly done with love and fear. Do we still have a huge wall to break down, absolutely. But the first step on my end has been made. I choose to no longer carry the deep hatred I was feeling for not "allowing" me to drink. I believe the old me with all her self loathing taught him how to treat me like his property. In the last 10 months I've found the true me and I love her. And not enough is no longer acceptable. Change is slow here but I've got 2 options. It is my hope that we can turn things around. I know though that I can not change how he acts, my only leg is to change how I react. And I have. I've never been one to engage in a fight I check out mentally because you can stab me with the cruelest meanest words and they'd still never touch the self slaughter I spoke internally. I don't do that anymore and it's no longer ok for others to. I know he's scared I'm slipping through his fingers, I can see it in his eyes. It's his volley now, so time will tell. I never even thought of that! You are so correct, people we at level 10 because it was a blip in time for them. While I definitely saw some of "us" there were absolutely normies overindulging because they could. Great point!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Originally Posted by jdooner
I am honored to know you
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away"
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting it's shroud
Over all we have known
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away"
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting it's shroud
Over all we have known
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Originally Posted by silentrun
Awesome IM. I believe we are all getting a chance to fix a wrong turn. Your music selection is amazing. I am listening to it right now. I have to tell you that you have been one of the white stones leading me out of the darkness. Enjoy your freedom AO.
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite in a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
Mesmerised as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite in a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
Mesmerised as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Thanks IM for a moving and heartfelt post. It meant so much.
I remember my first vacation sans alcohol. I was at the beach too - similar situation. I should've cancelled my plans - but stubbornly went anyway. Gritted my teeth the first few days & was filled with resentment, but made it through & felt stronger for getting over that hurdle. I was never tempted again in the same way - and as you said, I felt finally free of it.
Proud of you.
I remember my first vacation sans alcohol. I was at the beach too - similar situation. I should've cancelled my plans - but stubbornly went anyway. Gritted my teeth the first few days & was filled with resentment, but made it through & felt stronger for getting over that hurdle. I was never tempted again in the same way - and as you said, I felt finally free of it.
Proud of you.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Hi IM...I'm so happy for you!
I think a defining moment like that where you are staring the full and awesome girth of your addiction right in the face - can be pivotal.
Something like that happened to me a few months ago...it was almost like words couldn't describe it adequately, but right at that moment, I knew drinking was off the table completely for me. The illusion had somehow been cracked open and I knew there was nothing there that I wanted or could have me any more.
I'm so glad you were returned to us unbroken.xx
I think a defining moment like that where you are staring the full and awesome girth of your addiction right in the face - can be pivotal.
Something like that happened to me a few months ago...it was almost like words couldn't describe it adequately, but right at that moment, I knew drinking was off the table completely for me. The illusion had somehow been cracked open and I knew there was nothing there that I wanted or could have me any more.
I'm so glad you were returned to us unbroken.xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 668
Way to go IM. Very inspiring post. You were basically thrown into the snake pit and you emerged the sober victor. You have set the bar very high for others going on vacation that are trying to maintain their sobriety....you have shown that it is entirely possible to do so. Your post should be required reading for SR folks setting off on their summer holidays. Well done
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
