just got out of detox
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Well I missed the posts after mine.
Looks like everyone is turning blue/purple. LOL!
2much, take it easy and do what you feel is right.
And that's all I have to say about that, a la Forest Gump.
Looks like everyone is turning blue/purple. LOL!
2much, take it easy and do what you feel is right.
And that's all I have to say about that, a la Forest Gump.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Look guys, I'm suppose to start an IOP program Monday. I'm also planning on driving to an in patient program that said they would take me if I completed a detox program which I did. I think that's pretty good for those people that feel I am looking for a pity party. Do I feel lucky for these opportunities, sure, but I worked my a## for it. I have gone through some really nasty detoxing on my own so I know what it's like. For me to look elsewhere is a big deal for me, because I don't believe on others to help me with anything. I hate it that I have to look to others for help. It doesn't seem natural. Plus its just a money maker for them, they really don't care. They can just spit you out and move one to the next victim. That has nothing to do with me. that's just the way it is. Even AA is like that. It's just a bunch of drunks getting together with a common topic. Doesn't mean all drunks are accepted. Sure, your all welcomed, but that doesn't mean you will be accepted. Nothing good or bad about the place, just is. It's like trying to join a fraternity. Many apply, but only a few are accepted. That's just fact, and anybody that has been a member knows that. Nothing bad about that, because many accepted members benefit from it, but unfortunately many lose out and possible die because of being rejected, Some say try harder. I have tried harder and it doesn't work, unless you mean to take it up the a##. All I can say is something is missing.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Are you drinking now 2much? I don't say that to antagonize but you are very much out of sorts. If you are it might be best to get some water and some rest. You have a big week coming up. It's fine if you want to vent, but name calling and AA bashing isn't good for anyone.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Southern California
Posts: 120
I'm glad you're starting an IOP program, 2MP. I hope it works well for you.
I go to AA a lot and I've never seen somebody who is trying to get sober get "rejected". I see people here genuinely trying to help you and you're lashing out at them constantly, claiming earlier that they've "given up on you" despite the fact that people keep on posting encouragement. Seems to me like dismissing AA/SR/rehab/etc as being uncaring or insular or selfish or whatever is a way of writing them off so you have an excuse to not get help.
People can try to help you, but you have to be willing to accept it.
I go to AA a lot and I've never seen somebody who is trying to get sober get "rejected". I see people here genuinely trying to help you and you're lashing out at them constantly, claiming earlier that they've "given up on you" despite the fact that people keep on posting encouragement. Seems to me like dismissing AA/SR/rehab/etc as being uncaring or insular or selfish or whatever is a way of writing them off so you have an excuse to not get help.
People can try to help you, but you have to be willing to accept it.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I hate it that I have to look to others for help. It doesn't seem natural. Plus its just a money maker for them, they really don't care. They can just spit you out and move one to the next victim.
Two things I've realised I hope I never forget.
People are not inherently evil 2much, if I'm ignored it's because I never reached out....and the worlds not out to get me - I'm just not that important.
I know it's hard, but have a little faith, man.
You deserve better than you have been giving yourself
Things will not always be like this - not if you work for change
D
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
One thing I learned in recovery... I MUST care enough about myself and what happens to me in order to stay sober. No matter what others think of me, or how they don't like me, or judge me. You obviously care enough that you're going through detox, and are now going into IOP. You want to live. And you want to be sober, right? The rest will fall into place. People are going to care about and respect you for taking care of you. AA or other groups aren't going to shun you unless you act out against people and say mean things or become destructive. Just do your thing, mind your business, and hold your head up. Self-esteem comes with sobriety. It is, after all, your desire to live that is carrying you forward. You are NOT dependent on the acceptance of others. But like Dee said, the world isn't really out to get us. It will pretty much treat you according to what you put out there.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by 2muchpain 
Just got out of detox, went home and had a few beers. I think it's out of defiance of something, but this has been my pattern after leaving treatment, but It never lasts more than a day, than I settle down to sobriety. go figure. Anyhow, I start IOP next Monday so that should help. actually got a lot done today, did a lot of cleaning around my apartment today. felt good. My kitchen hasn't looked this good in months. keeping my fingers crossed.
Drinking is not a crime and only you can decide when it is time to stop.
To your credit you at least post here.
I got sober before the internet age and wasn't interested in stopping even though my drinking had been out of control for some years.
Only I could decide when enough was enough.
Best of luck.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I think we all just want you to be well 2much!!
Nothing cuts me up more than seeing people who have the capability of being Sober and not following through, we can all do it, if I can do it after failing so many times, then anyone can!!
It's not about trying harder, it's about being smart, what has worked, what hasn't, tweaking the plan, changing things up, changing the tactics moving forward as if this was a game of chess!!
But it's not a game, as you mention it's life and death, and so it should be the most important thing in all of our lives to sort out once and for all!!
You can do this!!
Nothing cuts me up more than seeing people who have the capability of being Sober and not following through, we can all do it, if I can do it after failing so many times, then anyone can!!
It's not about trying harder, it's about being smart, what has worked, what hasn't, tweaking the plan, changing things up, changing the tactics moving forward as if this was a game of chess!!
But it's not a game, as you mention it's life and death, and so it should be the most important thing in all of our lives to sort out once and for all!!
You can do this!!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Originally Posted by breath
"but this has been my pattern after leaving treatment, but It never lasts more than a day"
A "pattern" of relapse? A far cry from Sober Recovery.
"keeping my fingers crossed"
Never worked for me.
Don't get me wrong; it's just that it doesn't really sound like sobriety or recovery,and because you're not sober or recovered I wonder where this is all headed.
I wish you the best of luck; it's just so contradictory that it's confusing
A "pattern" of relapse? A far cry from Sober Recovery.
"keeping my fingers crossed"
Never worked for me.
Don't get me wrong; it's just that it doesn't really sound like sobriety or recovery,and because you're not sober or recovered I wonder where this is all headed.
I wish you the best of luck; it's just so contradictory that it's confusing
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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2muchpain, don't listen to what I said earlier. Don't drink. When my sponsor said that to me, I still wanted to drink. I think you want to quit. You can.
I'm sort of like you. I went to rehab a few years ago and drank the first night out. But I did manage to pull it together and get 5 months sober. I've also been to detox twice. Yea, it's better to get it the first time, but not everybody does. When you're ready to put it down, you can. Treatment is a good move.
I'm sort of like you. I went to rehab a few years ago and drank the first night out. But I did manage to pull it together and get 5 months sober. I've also been to detox twice. Yea, it's better to get it the first time, but not everybody does. When you're ready to put it down, you can. Treatment is a good move.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Are you drinking now 2much? I don't say that to antagonize but you are very much out of sorts. If you are it might be best to get some water and some rest. You have a big week coming up. It's fine if you want to vent, but name calling and AA bashing isn't good for anyone.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
They say one day at a time, but that can be taken many ways. don't want to sound morose but that can be taken many ways. It all comes to attitude, and having a sense of direction my direction is one of sobriety my attitude hasn't quite caught up to that, I couldn't help but notice that the regulars have not chimed in on this forum. I figured they have given up on me. but's okay, gives me more strength. keep not talking to me guys, There;s strength in silence.
Everyone has to find their own path and come to their own decision on if they are really ready or not.
As I stated in a previous thread the merry-go-round ride ended because I finally WANTED it to end. Until I decided to finally get off, nothing was going to change and I wasn't going to stop.
I am sending out mojo for you and keeping you in my thoughts.
We will always be here 2much whether you are really ready or not. Always.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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C'mon 2much - you've been here a while now - you're not a newbie.
This is a recovery site.
You're an intelligent guy.
You set the tone for this thread with your first sentence.
You know that will bring a certain kind of response as well as I do.
I think recovery starts with some personal responsibility.
It's your choice to drink but I wouldn't expect to be congratulated for it here.
We care.
D
This is a recovery site.
You're an intelligent guy.
You set the tone for this thread with your first sentence.
Just got out of detox, went home and had a few beers
I think recovery starts with some personal responsibility.
It's your choice to drink but I wouldn't expect to be congratulated for it here.
We care.
D
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
...Even AA is like that. It's just a bunch of drunks getting together with a common topic. Doesn't mean all drunks are accepted. Sure, your all welcomed, but that doesn't mean you will be accepted. Nothing good or bad about the place, just is. It's like trying to join a fraternity. Many apply, but only a few are accepted. That's just fact, and anybody that has been a member knows that. Nothing bad about that, because many accepted members benefit from it, but unfortunately many lose out and possible die because of being rejected, Some say try harder. I have tried harder and it doesn't work, unless you mean to take it up the a##. All I can say is something is missing.
And if there aren't a lot of meetings were you live then I would recommend being careful what you share.
I know that might not be what you want to hear and it's true some members can be judgmental and unwelcoming esp. if you don't tow their party line.
But it's still a safe place and it gives you something to do. Later you can come here and vent about the meeting if you want.
The main thing is you don't pick up a drink.
~Music is my mantra ----{-@
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 146
"Even AA is like that. It's just a bunch of drunks getting together with a common topic. Doesn't mean all drunks are accepted. Sure, your all welcomed, but that doesn't mean you will be accepted. Nothing good or bad about the place, just is. It's like trying to join a fraternity. Many apply, but only a few are accepted. That's just fact, and anybody that has been a member knows that."
Okay, I'm not always a huge fan of meetings, but that's just not true. Have you ever considered that maybe those feelings come within yourself and are projected onto those around you? And if you have truly experienced this at AA then you need to go to a different meeting, because that's not normal.
Okay, I'm not always a huge fan of meetings, but that's just not true. Have you ever considered that maybe those feelings come within yourself and are projected onto those around you? And if you have truly experienced this at AA then you need to go to a different meeting, because that's not normal.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I'm a little late to join this thread but here goes. Toomuch, I can relate to you, but at the same time you pi$$ me off lol. It seems to me that you have a strong need to be in control of your life. ok... I get it.
I need to be my own person as well. I need to make my own decisions. I'm very independent. That's important, even if those decisions are wrong... they need to be mine. The need to be in control of my life, quite naturally, also extended to taking care of how I felt. So for a long time that meant drinking to feel good, or at least not to feel so bad. When it came time to quit I found myself having to give up two things. Alcohol and control. It was the control part that I think was the harder for me to let go of. It seemed to go against my very nature. How could I accomplish what I needed to do and give up control at the same time. It seemed contradictory, and it also made me feel somehow, vulnerable.
My only suggestion to you is to temporarily give up your instinct to invent your own tailor made recovery method. Pick a method or program that seems most to your liking and do it without reservation. Do it their way instead of your way. If it does not work pick another method or program and do the same thing.
All the best to you.
I need to be my own person as well. I need to make my own decisions. I'm very independent. That's important, even if those decisions are wrong... they need to be mine. The need to be in control of my life, quite naturally, also extended to taking care of how I felt. So for a long time that meant drinking to feel good, or at least not to feel so bad. When it came time to quit I found myself having to give up two things. Alcohol and control. It was the control part that I think was the harder for me to let go of. It seemed to go against my very nature. How could I accomplish what I needed to do and give up control at the same time. It seemed contradictory, and it also made me feel somehow, vulnerable.
My only suggestion to you is to temporarily give up your instinct to invent your own tailor made recovery method. Pick a method or program that seems most to your liking and do it without reservation. Do it their way instead of your way. If it does not work pick another method or program and do the same thing.
All the best to you.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by DragonInTheSky
"Even AA is like that. It's just a bunch of drunks getting together with a common topic. Doesn't mean all drunks are accepted. Sure, your all welcomed, but that doesn't mean you will be accepted. Nothing good or bad about the place, just is. It's like trying to join a fraternity. Many apply, but only a few are accepted. That's just fact, and anybody that has been a member knows that."
Okay, I'm not always a huge fan of meetings, but that's just not true. Have you ever considered that maybe those feelings come within yourself and are projected onto those around you? And if you have truly experienced this at AA then you need to go to a different meeting, because that's not normal.
Okay, I'm not always a huge fan of meetings, but that's just not true. Have you ever considered that maybe those feelings come within yourself and are projected onto those around you? And if you have truly experienced this at AA then you need to go to a different meeting, because that's not normal.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Chicago,il
Posts: 71
Active drinking and posting makes for a bad situation here. Best to all for sobriety however you find.
I wrote this on your precious thread and I will repeat it, you remind me a lot of myself. And frankly, thank You you for reminding just how selfish and immature I was about my situation with alcohol and my downward spriral. I was never going to recover until I got out of my own way.
I can't disagree with you more about AA. I have 4-5 different home groups and each are littered with 15-20 yr veterans as well as 24 hour soberees. Doesn't matter who you are or how much time you have....we are all in it together and each group treats one another as family. There are no cliques at all. The old timers are there to help the newbies just as he newbies help the old timers.
Unless you agree to let others help you and you find a positive attitude about changing your life through IOU and sobriety......I'm afraid the IOP could be a complete waste of time for you. I've seen too many people like yourself approach it the same way and the results were disastrous. You can't do this in your own. You need help. You need to surrender and give up to your way of fixing this as it hasn't worked yet.
Please don't bash programs that have helped so many people in his community.....the same people that take time and try to help you even thigh you are so blinded by your disease you can't see it.
I wrote this on your precious thread and I will repeat it, you remind me a lot of myself. And frankly, thank You you for reminding just how selfish and immature I was about my situation with alcohol and my downward spriral. I was never going to recover until I got out of my own way.
I can't disagree with you more about AA. I have 4-5 different home groups and each are littered with 15-20 yr veterans as well as 24 hour soberees. Doesn't matter who you are or how much time you have....we are all in it together and each group treats one another as family. There are no cliques at all. The old timers are there to help the newbies just as he newbies help the old timers.
Unless you agree to let others help you and you find a positive attitude about changing your life through IOU and sobriety......I'm afraid the IOP could be a complete waste of time for you. I've seen too many people like yourself approach it the same way and the results were disastrous. You can't do this in your own. You need help. You need to surrender and give up to your way of fixing this as it hasn't worked yet.
Please don't bash programs that have helped so many people in his community.....the same people that take time and try to help you even thigh you are so blinded by your disease you can't see it.
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