just got out of detox
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
It's about having power and control over your own life.
That's the big addictive lie.
Getting and staying sober is about regaining power and control.
Continuing to drink is continuing to cede control to our addiction.
Continuing to react in the same way is not a good thing.
And it's not something we can't change - cos we absolutely can.
I had to move past juvenile knee jerk reactions to get better,
D
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Originally Posted by 2muchpain 
They say one day at a time, but that can be taken many ways. don't want to sound morose but that can be taken many ways. It all comes to attitude, and having a sense of direction my direction is one of sobriety my attitude hasn't quite caught up to that, I couldn't help but notice that the regulars have not chimed in on this forum. I figured they have given up on me. but's okay, gives me more strength. keep not talking to me guys, There;s strength in silence.
Let's get things straight 1 day at a time is not up for debate, the definition is pretty clear within the realms of Sobriety and recovery!!
Sobriety is up to YOU and no one else, I can't make you Sober, only you, so get with the program and start helping yourself, and stop blaming others for this and that!!
Sobriety is the answer and you can achieve it, whether you think you can or not, you can do it!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 25
Honestly OP I think this is kinda dumb.
I'm not trying to judge you, but what you are saying doesn't make any sense - and I'm not a believer in sympathising for the sake of it. You were given a great opportunity, spent days of your life getting physically clean, using the resources of those trying to help and support you and then you immediately went home and wilfully threw it away. I don't buy this whole compulsion to rebel thing, it's just a smoke screen.
You obviously need to examine your attitude before you try again.
I'm not trying to judge you, but what you are saying doesn't make any sense - and I'm not a believer in sympathising for the sake of it. You were given a great opportunity, spent days of your life getting physically clean, using the resources of those trying to help and support you and then you immediately went home and wilfully threw it away. I don't buy this whole compulsion to rebel thing, it's just a smoke screen.
You obviously need to examine your attitude before you try again.
~Music is my mantra ----{-@
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 146
It's about having power and control over your own life...
"But it's not tho (I know you know this DragonInTheSky). That's the big addictive lie."
I do know this, but it is extremely hard to break out of old habits and behaviors, especially when people close to us are still stuck in their own. My mom is not an addict, and she has no clue what it's like. I've tried to explain how she is a trigger for my drinking, and she simply does not get it. It's extremely frustrating.
I'm not trying to hijack your thread 2muchpain, maybe I should start my own.
"But it's not tho (I know you know this DragonInTheSky). That's the big addictive lie."
I do know this, but it is extremely hard to break out of old habits and behaviors, especially when people close to us are still stuck in their own. My mom is not an addict, and she has no clue what it's like. I've tried to explain how she is a trigger for my drinking, and she simply does not get it. It's extremely frustrating.
I'm not trying to hijack your thread 2muchpain, maybe I should start my own.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
Thats why the support here is so important
I was surrounded by drinkers when I quit - I had to make some pretty heavy decisions about my social activities and my social group too.
It's hard to change, yeah - but not impossible
D
I was surrounded by drinkers when I quit - I had to make some pretty heavy decisions about my social activities and my social group too.
It's hard to change, yeah - but not impossible
D
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by DragonInTheSky
It's about having power and control over your own life, even though in the end it is the drug that has the power....(I know this). For me when my mom brings up my drinking or tells me I am "not allowed to drink" all it makes me want to do is drink.
Stick around DITS...I think there is much wisdom on this site.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
I have done the same, used directly after a period in detox, in my case it wasn't "I am going to show them." although I am very familiar with the mindset.
It was more the ritual of getting straight, the last time, the mental preparation. Getting ready!!
Sometimes it worked and I had lengthy periods of sobriety, sometimes it led to a relapse and relapse cycles.
2MP, For me it is important to change my mindset and attitudes. The sort of destructive, defensive mindset lead me to petulant style thinking. Like I'm drinking poison and hoping they will die.!
It is so awesome you went to detox, I was cheering when I read that and the fact you have a follow up plan....so good.....well todays done. Will you drink tomorrow?
It was more the ritual of getting straight, the last time, the mental preparation. Getting ready!!
Sometimes it worked and I had lengthy periods of sobriety, sometimes it led to a relapse and relapse cycles.
2MP, For me it is important to change my mindset and attitudes. The sort of destructive, defensive mindset lead me to petulant style thinking. Like I'm drinking poison and hoping they will die.!
It is so awesome you went to detox, I was cheering when I read that and the fact you have a follow up plan....so good.....well todays done. Will you drink tomorrow?
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by DragonInTheSky
Sobritishty, calling 2mp dumb is judgmental and most likely unhelpful.
Perfectly intelligent people do stupid **** all the time, stop with the kid gloves - some people need to be told. I don't buy into this cult of positivity vibe you have going on here - it encourages "one last time" - a step back to square one is exactly that.
~Music is my mantra ----{-@
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 146
"To me all I see in your post DITS and 2much's is a couple of powerless addicts/alcoholics deluding themselves into a false sense of so tithing they have no control over."
You may be right, but please don't prejudge or assume anything about me. All I was doing was expressing the fact that I understand where 2mp was coming from when most everyone else seemed to be stumped as to how or why she/he could be feeling this way. If you read my initial post again you will see that I wasn't trying to claim the reaction was right or wrong, nor was I defending it. I relate to it...that's all.
You may be right, but please don't prejudge or assume anything about me. All I was doing was expressing the fact that I understand where 2mp was coming from when most everyone else seemed to be stumped as to how or why she/he could be feeling this way. If you read my initial post again you will see that I wasn't trying to claim the reaction was right or wrong, nor was I defending it. I relate to it...that's all.
~Music is my mantra ----{-@
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 146
"I don't buy into this cult of positivity vibe you have going on here"...What are you talking about? Wow...there is a hell of a lot of judgement on this forum. Is it because of my name? You've got it wrong.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by DragonInTheSky
I can completely understand 2muchpain's reasoning for drinking beer after he/she got home. It's all about giving a big "**** you" to anyone (including rehab centers) telling you what you should or shouldn't do. It's about having power and control over your own life, even though in the end it is the drug that has the power....(I know this). For me when my mom brings up my drinking or tells me I am "not allowed to drink" all it makes me want to do is drink. She is one of my biggest triggers. Even though I'm 35, I'm still treated like the baby in my family, and was told what to do all of the time growing up; so for me it's a deep seeded instinct to do the opposite of what I'm told. I've always rebelled against any kind of authority. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it just IS. I relate to you 2muchpain.
Start a new thread, stick around, welcome...I think you will be a great add to our little community.
I am guilty of judging and I judge from time to time...Rome was not built in a day:-)
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
I've asked for a refocusing on the OP.
I'm not seeing that happening.
Personal remarks or conversations are best left to PM (Private Messages).
The ignore feature is also good.
let focus guys - thanks
D
I'm not seeing that happening.
Personal remarks or conversations are best left to PM (Private Messages).
The ignore feature is also good.
Ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.
D
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
I have known others and I'll some people on SR that have gone through the same thing I am dealing with that have slipped back for a day or two than went on to lengthy sobriety. I don't think this is anything knew.
its your choice, but the rebel attitude prolly aint gonna help, which it reads like yer past shows that to be true.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
They say I couldn't help but notice that the regulars have not chimed in on this forum. I figured they have given up on me. but's okay, gives me more strength. keep not talking to me guys, There;s strength in silence.
sooooo, theres strength in silence........
maybe its time for YOU to be silent? or you can keep the rebel attitude.
weren't there some people not too long ago that told you you are an attention seeker lookin for a pity party??
that still aint workin too good.
what I read is an egomaniac with low self esteem.
drinkin wont help it.
lets us know when ya want to change
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Well it's done.
Your username suggests a level of unhappiness and the fact that you're here suggests you want something better.
Do yourself a favour and change your thinking.
Defiance in this case is not your friend.
And I say this as someone who has done all sorts of illogical and stupid ****.
But I always regret it.
Avoid giving yourself regrets, mate.
Your username suggests a level of unhappiness and the fact that you're here suggests you want something better.
Do yourself a favour and change your thinking.
Defiance in this case is not your friend.
And I say this as someone who has done all sorts of illogical and stupid ****.
But I always regret it.
Avoid giving yourself regrets, mate.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 188
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
Just got out of detox, went home and had a few beers. I think it's out of defiance of something, but this has been my pattern after leaving treatment, but It never lasts more than a day, than I settle down to sobriety. go figure. Anyhow, I start IOP next Monday so that should help. actually got a lot done today, did a lot of cleaning around my apartment today. felt good. My kitchen hasn't looked this good in months. keeping my fingers crossed.
If you are leaving the detox and doing nothing for your sobriety but going home, cleaning your kitchen and keeping your fingers crossed.....then the obsession of the mind will take over and insure that you will take that first drink. That first drink will always lead to MORE. Detoxing (taking the booze out) is necessary so that we can begin to work a program of Recovery.
Please go to AA meetings in your area, there are people there who have a solution that works and all you have to do is show up. I know I couldn't do this alone and I tried for many years.
Once I crossed that invisible line into alcoholism, I could not predict with any certainty, on any given occasion, how much I would drink or what would happen to me after I took the first drink. I couldn't take one drink of alcohol in safety. I had lost the ability to choose to NOT drink and I needed help to stay sober. Detoxes are wonderful for getting the booze out, and then the real work begins. God Bless!
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