FloridaLove

Hi everyone, I've been lurking on this forum for a while now but I've finally found the courage to post.

I suppose techinally I'm an alcoholic, but the way I drink is in binges, which can last from a few hours to several days, in which I drink and stay drunk continually and nothing or no one can stop me. But yet in between binges I can go for several weeks without drinking and living a very productive life.

I've lost friends, lost jobs, done so may foolish and shameful things, been injured and have had to go to hospital to detox on several occasions when my drinkings been bad.

It's been nearly a week since my last binge (which I suffered a horrible hangover) but yet I've been thinking about getting drunk again tonight.

What I've done is made a list of the pros and cons about drinking and well it's fair to say deciding not to drink is gonna be a better idea all round.

I've got over the worst of the craving, even typing this post has distracted me from the alcohol!! I am gonna keep regular contact with this forum and would like to get to know people who are in the same boat as me ( so good seeing that I'm not alone)

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

You'll find loads of support here on SR!!

aborkie

Really heavy binge drinking is terrible for your liver. That should be on the list.

Gottalife

Welcome Floridalove,

My story is similar to yours, I would binge for three or four days until I couldn't keep going, then have a few days sober. Then I would do it all again.

I learned that the craving is something that develops after the first drink. That was why what usually started as a couple of drinks after work, turned into a four day bender. Once I started, I was drinking to overcome a craving I couln't control.

This craving isn't there when there is no alcohol in my system so it is gone a couple of days after my last drink.

What I am then faced with is the obsession of the mind. This tells me, after a time, that the last session wasn't really that bad, and this time I'll be able to handle it ok.
It tells me everybody drinks, right, I need a few drinks to have a good time, and if I just have a couple, where's the harm in that? Last weeks disaster is easily forgotten when I'm in the obsession.

So I set out to have just a couple, the only intention in my mind is to have a good time and relax, the craving kicks in and before I know it I'm out of control doing stuff I had absolutely no intention of doing when I took the fatal first drink.

So the real question is, how to fix the mind that lets this happen.

FloridaLove

Hey Gottalife, I completely understand what you mean. I can be very much in that mindset as well, in which I think I'll be okay with just a few drinks and just want to have a good time, but yep after a few, I end up going on a bender. Sometimes I manage to have a few and beat the craving, but most of the time, that's not the case.

I've had people say to me 'just don't drink if you can't control it' how I wish it was that easy

I'm 24, I've my whole life still ahead of me, but yet at times I feel like the alcohol is gonna ruin it all

aborkie

Just curious, what do you have under pros of drinking?

FloridaLove

Hi aborkie, well I've 3 point downs, I'm currently in the house on my own, and feeling a bit bored and lonely.

1. Will help me relax
2. Will pass time
3. Will make me feel better and less bored

inthekeyofg

I'm new here as well and have, like you, been working up the courage to post... There is no rhyme or reason to cravings. Sometimes I think I'm doin' good and then, for no real reason, I'll think of drinking heavily. Other times I can so easily detect the triggers that set the gears in motion for a heavy session. My habit, like yours, was binge drinking.
Distractions are good! Keep the positive mindset! And yes, the scale is certainly tipped in favor of not drinking!

Hevyn

Welcome FloridaLove - I'm so glad you decided to post.

We all understand how you're feeling right now. Talking things over here is a great distraction, as you pointed out. You're never alone with the struggle - we're here 24/7.

Patriciae

Hi Florida and Welcome

In my experience, I have is a three fold illness......Mental, Physical, and Spiritual.


Mental.....I had an obsession of the mind (a thought that overcomes all other thoughts) that insured that I would take the first drink.

Physical...Once I put one drink of alcohol into my body, it set up a physical compulsion for MORE, and I would continue to drink against my will, until I was drunk, sick and out of control again.

Spiritual..... I was brought up with pretty good values, that I was taught from a very early age. When I crossed that invisible line into alcoholism I just kept moving my own values down, thinking things, saying things, and doing things that I never ever thought I was capable of, until my own value system became unrecognizable even to myself, and I would do whatever I needed to do.....just to get a drink, because I had lost the ability to choose to NOT drink.

Gottalife

I can relate. 'just don't drink if you can't control it" rings bells for me too. I got quite selective in what social activities I would engage in. Sometimes I would not drink at all if I knew there was not enough booze there to satisfy me. Other times I would only drink at activities I knew there was plenty of booze at, and I would sneak drinks.

I was 22 when I stopped. I had my whole life ahead of me like you, but without booze, it looked a bit frightening. Most of my sober experience wasn't much fun up to that point. My alcoholic life was the only normal one. My imagination seemed to desert me, I couldn't imagine life without booze, but I would die if I kept drinking.

I got some help from people just like me who had found a way out. I didn't particularly understand what they were on about, but I had a tiny bit of faith that they knew what to do, and I followed their suggestions.

My life changed dramatically and I haven't needed to take a drink since. And life is amazing, sooo much better than I could have dreamed.

It was the life change that removed the obsession, so now it's not an issue, so therefore the craving that sets off the binges, never happens either.

NightsWatch

Welcome Florida! Glad you decided to post and share your experiences.

My drinking pattern was similar to yours - I wasn't ever a daily drinker, but I would binge whenever I did drink. I mean, what's the point of drinking if it's not to get drunk right? Yeah, that's a sign I had a problem. Unlike you, I couldn't go for weeks without drinking. It started out 1-2x a week of binging, then at the height of my drinking, it was closer to 5 days/week of binging.

Anyway, if you are serious about quitting, I know you will find a way. When I joined here several years ago, a big part of me wanted to quit, but there was a part of me that didn't. Needless to say, I continued drinking that way until this year when I decided I wanted to give it up for good. This decision to quit has to be 100% of you, not just the part that thinks, I "should" give it up, or "maybe" I'll give it up. You have to want a sober life and what it has to offer with every fiber of your being.

The cravings are rough and there are a lot of ways people have dealt with them. Personally, I tried a lot of things before I found one that has worked the best. It's not perfect (mostly because it doesn't reduce the intensity of the cravings), but it has helped me to stay sober on the nights when I want to reach for a bottle. If you're interested in checking it out, it's called ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). It's not for everyone, but if you've tried everything else and they still don't work, give it a shot.

Good luck!

zjw

at your age I binged on weekends and such very simlier binging to yours. It evolved to a daily binge routine i'd try and not binge sometimes in the end I threw in the towell and just drank like a fish the final however many years. every day was a binge. At 33 years old I quit. It ended with horrible panic attacks all the time i was morbidly obese all sorts of health issues etc.. I did not know what to try in order to feel better as a last ditched effort I thought maybe if i quit drinking i'll feel better. WALA it did the trick. it was hard hardest thing I ever did but i feel better now and i'm a healthy weight and healthy etc...