bigsombrero

My friends are all getting together back in the old college town, and I've been invited to join them. Really? First of all, I'm not going - I've been sober almost 2 years and staying away from bars has helped me on my journey.

My friends all know I'm a recovering alcoholic (for better or worse) and I've stayed away from these things before. I suppose my e-mail address is always "on the list" but it's just strange to me that they would openly discuss the booze-fest knowing that I'm silently reading and deleting all the convos.

It's also a bit sad. We are nearly 40 years old, and going on a pub crawl back at the old college town is still considered "fun"? Getting wasted and slamming back beers and drinks at the bars we drank at 20 years ago? It makes me wonder how much my friends have really grown, if at all. I feel like our friendships are all at a point where they can't really grow - at least not for me, not right now.

This evening I am staying in a small town up in the mountains of Guatemala. I can see the valley, the volcanoes, the stars, and have fresh "cafe" early in the morning on the porch. I have socialized, made new friends and chatted with old while here. I will travel to the Pacific Ocean next week and watch the dolphins, visit the sea turtle rescue center, etc.

So am I the fuddy duddy because I'm not going on the college town pub crawl? I don't think so!!!!

Soberpotamus

Yeah, doubt you're going to be missing out on too much I'll take Guatemala anyday over a pub crawl.

caboblanco

so you can go on a mamacita crawl instead...err i mean nature walk

Hevyn

I know people still at it in their late 50's, BigS. I suspect they'll always be seeking that old euphoria - & it's nowhere to be found.

Your trip sounds beautiful. Have a wonderful time soaking up all the great stuff - with eyes wide open.

RecklessEric

I wonder if they feel they should invite you even though they're sure you'll say no.
Maybe they think you'd be upset if you weren't invited.
I dunno, just playing devil's advocate.

It's my experience that these boozy reunions never live up to expectations anyway.

I'd love to be drinking fresh "cafe" in Guatemala.
Jealous!

jdooner

Your special BigS. While your friends squander their time you are growing and moving forward. They say you stunt your emotional growth when you begin drinking/partying. I believe this to be true.

I know guys in their 40s and 50s that think closing a big deal requires a big celebration right out of Wolf of Wall Street. Sad really, but I used to think this way too. Confusing euphoria with happiness.

Like Soberjennie said I would take serenity in Guatamala over a pub crawl in Chicago anyway.

Cathryn2001

I think you've outgrown them, BigS.

^This. This is living.

PurpleKnight

Great post!!

Croissant

Things like that were maybe fun when we didn't know better, or didn't realise what a dance with the devil alcohol could be.

When we knew better, we did better.

That's not boring, that's growth...and that is the real purpose of life.

gaffo

I don't think you're being a fuddy duddy but you could lighten up a little bit. I almost never meet people in bars and I have no drinking nostalgia but still I can't hold it against drunk people for saying stupid things...it sounds like your old pals mean well.

Sasha4

Do you think you could open up an SR retreat in your little corner of paradise Big?
I could do with a few weeks of sunshine, no shoes and no news!

I can't imagine anything worse than being stuck in a busy pub shouting over the noise.
You have done the right thing being where you are.
I know everything will work out good for you.
You deserve the best x

soberclover

I feel the same about my 30th high school reunion that is happening next month. It's all about drinking. Having graduated in the 80's, there was a lot of drinking and drug use so it really isn't surprising that those arranging the event would plan as such. I'm not participating this year and I'm not feeling bad about it. I think it's a level of sober maturity that I have now; those type of gathering just seem like a waste of my time.

waynetheking

Pub crawls are a total waste of time. Glad you passed on that one.