Wife Doesn't Get It
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Harford 
How do you explain to a non addict how it feels to stop drinking?
If someone had said to me "I can't control my weight", before I turned 35 years old - I simply would have said "don't eat so much". Because at that time, my body and emotions responded to my will-power. However, after turning 35, my body and emotions got a mind of their own and will-power failed to do the job.
If someone had said to me "I can't control my drinking", before I became alcoholic - I simply would have said "don't drink so much". Because at that time my body and emotions responded to my will-power. However, after becoming an alcoholic, my body and emotions got a mind of their own and will-power failed to do the job.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
I think this early in sobriety it is completely reasonable to ask your wife to give you some space and respect your desire to avoid parties for a while. It's also reasonable to ask her to refrain from drinking in your presence (if she does)......At least until you are stronger. That's what we do for those we love.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
My husband said the same thing to me that your wife said... just don't drink 
They really don't get it. They can listen to you, read about it, educate themselves. That's about all they can do. He compares giving up cigarettes to my quitting drinking. Not sure he'll ever truly understand, and that's ok. What did help him the most was attending a presentation and lecture called The Broken Brain where a former addict explained addiction from a neuroscience angle. This helped us both tremendously.
They really don't get it. They can listen to you, read about it, educate themselves. That's about all they can do. He compares giving up cigarettes to my quitting drinking. Not sure he'll ever truly understand, and that's ok. What did help him the most was attending a presentation and lecture called The Broken Brain where a former addict explained addiction from a neuroscience angle. This helped us both tremendously.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Leipzig
Posts: 35
This is a great topic, thanks OP. . . . .
To those recommending "sugar replacement theory," did it work for you? I don't want to hijack the thread, so I'd be happy if someone started another thread on it (or I could but no expert obviously).
Sugar becomes a "methadone" type of thing I suppose. However, my experience is that sugar/starch/simple carbs play a mutually supporting role in cravings-- that is to say if I have some pizza at lunch, the craving for a beer at dinner is WORSE.
Back to the thread topic-- I would think asking someone to read the Big Book might be daunting. Is there a pamphlet or a web link that would be more palatable
To those recommending "sugar replacement theory," did it work for you? I don't want to hijack the thread, so I'd be happy if someone started another thread on it (or I could but no expert obviously).
Sugar becomes a "methadone" type of thing I suppose. However, my experience is that sugar/starch/simple carbs play a mutually supporting role in cravings-- that is to say if I have some pizza at lunch, the craving for a beer at dinner is WORSE.
Back to the thread topic-- I would think asking someone to read the Big Book might be daunting. Is there a pamphlet or a web link that would be more palatable
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I can't explain to someone what experiencing alcoholism is like, any more than I can describe what it's like to have cerebral palsy.
But, at least with respect to alcoholism, there are places like SR where you *can* find support and understanding Harford
D
But, at least with respect to alcoholism, there are places like SR where you *can* find support and understanding Harford
D
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