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-   -   I am an alcoholic (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/337642-i-am-alcoholic.html)

ultradad 07-02-2014 08:01 AM

I am an alcoholic
 
I am an alcoholic. As an alcoholic, I must always be aware of the FACT that, for me to drink again is to die. Oh, I MIGHT NOT die right away in some violent confrontation or "accident", I MIGHT NOT shoot myself in the head or create a scenario where someone else has to do it for me, but eventually DEATH WILL FIND ME, and between THE NEXT DRINK and THAT LAST BREATH, I will die many, many "little deaths", all increasingly HELLISH until, in a state of total demoralization and despair, I ask a God I no longer believe in, to take away the PAIN of living this "Life" I had created. ~Anonymous

ScottFromWI 07-02-2014 08:41 AM

I'm an alcoholic too.

robgt350 07-02-2014 08:53 AM

Me too.
i had the same thoughts at time too to keep me sober.
nice to meet you Bro

songthread 07-02-2014 09:25 AM

Yes, me too. I'm very lucky (blessed) and grateful to still be alive. And, I'm glad for your post and somber reminder of just how real the consequences are for me, so thank you.

biminiblue 07-02-2014 09:30 AM

A thousand little deaths of friendships, cleanliness, sleep, nutrition, exercise, positive thinking, hope - life itself ebbs slowly away when under the influence; to be replaced by fear and misery.

RecklessEric 07-02-2014 09:38 AM

I am also an alcoholic.
Part of me died last week.
But I'm thankful that I'm in a position to bring it back.
But that depends on me sticking to my plan.
I don't believe in God but sometimes, when sober, I can feel surrounded by love. Not the love of my family or friends, that's there all the time, but a sense of love that is around me in the world.

ultradad 07-02-2014 09:40 AM

You know, I read this last night and it really spoke to me. I thought about it all night and this morning and thought I'd share it here. Explains the disease of alcoholism, at least my type, so well! People that are not alcoholic or don't know someone who is will never understand, but those of us who are know all to well! Rings true in my thoughts and I'm just glad that God answered when I finally did ask!

PurpleKnight 07-02-2014 09:55 AM

Good post!! :)

gardendiva 07-02-2014 12:16 PM

Here here.

Stoogy 07-02-2014 12:26 PM

Great post buddy.

Sudz No More 07-02-2014 01:47 PM

Thanks for the nice post, people who aren't alcoholics will never understand this, even close family or friends will never see it the way we do. That's what makes coming here special to me, I know I'm not alone in this.

Raider 07-02-2014 02:10 PM

I am alcoholic. My Lord has once again delivered me a way out of active addiction. Praise God.

matt4x4 07-03-2014 10:52 PM

Aha, you might die the rockstar death.

Choking on your own vomit.
Sports car wrapped around the tree.




Or



Live life on a spiritual basis.


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