zjw

I'm in a bad spot myself. simlier thoughts i rattled substance after substance off to my wife as this would make me feel better tonight rararara. I know its not an option.

When i first sobered up i new i was damned if i did damned if i didnt. I new i was screwed either way. I just figured being sober must be the better form of screwed. 3 years in yes its true being sober IS better. But I wont lie I have my moments today being one of them. I know I'll roll through this. I know its just a rough spot.

My best advice is to press forward you'll get to the other side and be better off. But Being in a crummy situation right now myself. I can relate to you. But I know i wont drink. I'll just push through it. I might kick i might scream i might cry i might run more i might go for 10 walks. etc.. but i'll push through it.

I feel i cant cope either tho. The above is what i do to try and deal.

desypete

sometimes a simple early night in bed is called for just to get today over with and new one starts tomorrow
i had to say to myself i am going to do something constructive today and get something done anything that would keep my mind occupied

zjw

I think that sometimes myself but then I think is this depression? I mean they say if your depressed you just wanna sleep. Its not often i wanna sleep as a way to avoid dealing with stuff tho heck sleep is like the hardest thing for me to do.

I have however been known to profusely cry while running asking myself why it has to be this way. Why must i run a zillion miles just to be able to blow off steam etc... *sigh*. but it also works too. tho in my case yest it back fired i had a headache etc.. it just mde life worse

LadyBlue0527

I also suffer from this but it's not as bad as you have it. Mine is a consistent low grade ringing. It's maddening.

Cow

Also I has the tinnitus. I has to take sleep pill every night cuz is like high pitch jet engine constant in right ear. It happen when gun was discharge in room and both ears immediate blow out and go deaf except for ring. After week or so left ear come back but right one always has this sound in it. Anyways, I run all kind of white noise machine to sleep even with sleep pill.

For me, I can say alcohol and caffeine only make it worse. Also, if you has insurance, is new treatments now with sound conditioning that can train you brain to ignore certain signals, such as noise of tinnitus. My doctor just tells me about and I gonna check it out.

Gottalife

Sorry for all the negativity, it's just been a horrible few days.

With tinnitus it can be lower in volume and your doing swimmingly, all is good, motivated to stay sober......but then it spikes in volume were I can hear it everywhere, even in the shower and a feeling of panic and dread just comes over me, all rational thinking just goes out the window! With panic I look for relief, your right alcohol was my goto drug, being a recovering alcoholic while suffering with tinnitus is like a double whammy!

I'm scared to go on medications because I read some antidepressants make tinnitus worse.

I'm going to try and get through the next week without giving in, I so hope my tinnitus calms down!

Sorry for freaking out, i just needed to tell someone how I'm feeling, hopefully theres better days ahead! "

Jdooner asked a pretty relevant question, and this is the nearest post to an answer that I can find.

It seems to me there are two issues being discussed here. One is the medical condition of tinnitus, which though I have experienced mild attackes, I have no real knowledge of, and the other is your reaction to the tinnitus.

For example, the anti depressant will not treat the tinnitus, but it will treat your reaction to it. Same thing with alcohol. For the alcoholic it is a great way for treating our reaction to life, until it isnt.

There seem to be some great suggestions form other posters on how tinnitus might be managed or treated, Cow's post in particular offers a lot of hope.

But what are you doing to treat your reaction to life, which unfortunately the tinnitus is a part of. Are you a recovering alcoholic or an alcoholic who is not drinking at the moment? I think that was what Jdooner was aksing. It might enable us to be of more help if we knew the answer.

courage2

Hi alwaysober1.

Being honest, not drinking does make some problems worse or more noticeable. That's the case with a lot of us who have high anxiety, and maybe with tinnitus. But drinking causes problems, like death and insanity. I've never heard of anyone who's spouse left them because the ringing in their ears was just too much.

Why did you quit in the first place? Are you ready to go back to that? Because trust me, you'll go right back where you left off or worse. Your alcoholism has not forgotten how to drink, or learned how to moderate. It's just missed having you to beat up and kick around.

alwayssober1

Thanks for all your replies,

I'm treating this whole sobriety as a trail, when times are good I'm fine, but when there bad I instantly think of saying screw it and drinking again.

Jdooner is right, I am relying on my tinnitus staying a certain volume to stay sober, I was a frequent drinker before tinnitus, had given up so many times, for weeks at a time. Then tinnitus arrived I become an everyday drinker, drank everyday for a year, then I got used to the noise and stopped drinking again, didn't need to use alcohol as a crutch anymore because I had my reactions under control, if I drunk from then on....it was for drinking sake alone. Like a say many many weeks where I didn't drink after that, felt better not drinking.

Then late last year noise exposure made my tinnitus worse, all the fear and depression came flooding back, started drinking everyday again, drinking harder than I ever had, drinking beer and whiskey everyday for 3 months, dark dark days, lots of daily crying, wondering how I was going to survive with this ever worsening tinnitus in my head, one night I drank a lot....went to bed and the tinnitus was screaming! I got up pacing around the house 3 o clock in the morning tormented, I was that desperate I was going to walk to the nearest hospital that was around 6 miles away, drunk in the middle of the night! But I realised their was nothing they could do, they would give me ototoxic medication to calm me down and that was that.

Then after Christmas my tinnitus calmed down slightly, plus I got used to the new level, I started thinking I didn't need alcohol to cope anymore, preferred not drinking so new year I quit, 6 months where mainly I was focusing on staying sober, I was learning about PAWS, the tiredness, brain fog etc, then you know the rest, tinnitus starts scaring the **** out of me again, a new high pitched tone I can now hear everywhere, I want to run back to the crutch of drinking again, to stop the panic and irrational dark thoughts...

I do truly prefer to be sober, when times are good I feel I don't need it or want it, my tinnitus has been tolerable the past 6 months, I'm sober, tinnitus now getting worse again.....fear, panic, depression, fear, more fear, 6 months sober heh "who cares when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope" deal.

I need to find other strategies in the bad times rather than running to the drink for months at a time, I'm going to ask the doctor for some help, try and get some therapy to try and help ignore the tinnitus when its bad, help control my reaction.

Thanks again for all your support.

desypete

we have to learn how to cope in life without the need to run off and pick up a drink to answer all our problems
pain and hard times are part of life sadly and people have to deal with it
for the hard times it can be a slog to even get up in the mornings.

for your medical condition you need a dr for it as i dont have a clue what it is you suffer with although i have known a few people who have this condition of noise in there ears and i can only think it must drive you nuts as there is no off switch for it

i have to push myself daily at times just to do things and get going but i dont know what i would do if i had constant noise going off in my ear ?
how do you learn to ignore it ?

what sort of help or treatment have you been given ? or what help is out there for it ?

alwayssober1

Unfortunately there isn't a treatment that can lower the noise or make it go away, what I have to is get to grips with my REACTION of the noise, if you learn not to be fearful of the noise then even when you hear it clearly you don't pay attention to it, it shouldn't affect you has much as when you allow it drive you mad, easier said than done!

Here's a video of someone who has a severe case, mine is lower than that but it sounds similar, WARNING make sure you lower the volume first because the sound is irritating.
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&so...iUfFarNLVUMskQ

Like I say doctors can give you medication to calm you down, maskers to drown out the noise, antidepressants to help your mood but tinnitus is a nightmare! You have to learn to cope the best way you can.

Olive1

I have tinnitus almost as bad as the video in my left ear. My right ear is lesser enough so that I can use the phone when using that ear.
It is worse, of course, when I am thinking about it, like now that I have been reading this thread.
I find meditation and exercise help.

Spinach

I only realised I had tinnitus a few months ago when it changed pitch. I used to think it was the sound of silence , drinking used to make my headache and I'd get irritated with noise .
I realise now drinking made it worse. I cant see how drinking will help apart from being in a loud pub, and you don't need to drink!
I also can't see how lowering your resistance to depression by drinking again is going to help.
I have a chronic and acute pain problem both have improved by not drinking!
I also saw a psychologist who was really helpful once I stopped rejecting ther seemingly pathetic advice. Which was all about not focussing on it through various tricks . I have applied it to my tinnitus and although not changing the sound it doesn't we're me down!
Don't pick up it could end in such a worse place .
John.

alwayssober1

When my anxiety is really high like tonight, alcohol, at least temporarily was the best form of relief to me, it would put me into a carefree buzz for an evening, I know it would be the same the next morning but then I would repeat it the next evening.

The one thing that is stopping me ironically is the fear that heavy drinking might make the tinnitus even worse! Lol!......sigh!....

Spinach

Carefree, yeah I know that one, shame drinkings such a double edge sword!
Good luck with finding some trick that can take the edge away.
John.