Originally Posted by suki44883

Avoiding them outside of working hours sounds like a good plan.

Of course, when someone is badgering you about not drinking, you could always ask them...Why does my not drinking bother you?

Originally Posted by Cathryn2001

I've felt that my sobriety has really helped me sort out who my real friends are. I might have expected some "pressure" from the type of crowd that I ran with when I was in college or in my mid twenties--we went to clubs, we drank, repeat 3-4 nights of the week.

But these women . . . they are moms/teachers in their mid-40s, who, one would imagine, would be beyond the whole "I'm drinking--you NEED to drink with me" mindset.

I knew that the first few times I abstained, I would likely be questioned (at minimum, due to curiosity, as I generally drank a few when we socialized previously). What I didn't expect was the escalation--taking my "no, thanks . . remember, I'm on medication" to a barrage of questions that were invariably peppered at me in front of a small audience of other teachers--why are you on medication, what medication are you on, when will you get this get sorted so you can drink again, etc. I've entertained these questions by responding with generic answers, but eventually, it became, "What are you--an alcoholic? If you're an alcoholic, we'll be sensitive and leave you alone" followed by gales of laughter (because calling someone out on a possible alcohol problem is the very picture of sensitivity). Funnily enough, no questions/concerns about how I'm emotionally dealing with my current medical condition (red flag); everything was wrapped around me being able to drink again. I've said that I don't miss it, and I've said that I'm glad to be pursuing a healthier lifestyle. I was then told that I just wasn't fun anymore.

I'm at fault here for numerous reasons--I've had no boundaries, and I've maintained relationships that are clearly toxic. These are people in which alcohol (over)use is normalized, and I don't know why I ever thought that our "friendships" would continue once I stopped drinking. The responses on this thread have helped me realize my role in all of this. They have also taught me numerous ways to handle questions.

Bottom line--I'm terminating the social relationship with these colleagues (easy since I'm moving on to a new position next year). I also refuse to engage in conversations about my choices. Their rudeness (and it is rudeness) in questioning/commenting begets a deliberate response--Why does my not drinking bother you so much?

I'm confident in using "I don't drink" with the people I meet in new placement (not that I foresee it coming up), and I doubt that any questions will be asked. If there are, thanks to you generous people, I have the skills/verbiage to deal with them.

Thank you again for taking the time to share your opinions/perspectives. Every post helped me dissect this situation and figure out the the solution that is best for me at this time.

Originally Posted by Boleo

I find that if I start spewing on and on about the negative health effects of alcohol on the human organs, like a broken faucet, people never ask me that question again.