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Old 06-22-2014, 07:37 AM
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Hurt

On day 9 now and physically feeling great.

Been avoiding the phone, except for my son. My "friend" called this morning, so I let it go to voicemail. First comment was "are you drunk"? Ok, so maybe I deserve it, but it's that type of thing I am trying to avoid right now. My head is still in a fog, and my emotions are very up and down.

I do isolate and rarely leave my house. My therapist told me it's time to get out there and meet new friends. I'm going for a walk, by myself, to clear my head and get out of the house. Hard for me to meet new people as I am pretty introverted and don't trust easily anymore.

Hard to ignore the stares and comments, but I knew it was going to happen. But when that happens, I think to myself - well, you guys all think I'm still drinking, guess I might as well.

No worries, I have to quit listening to the negative and focus on myself this time. I will beat this and show them I can do it.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 06-22-2014, 07:47 AM
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Why don't you go to an AA meeting? Everyone there understands what you are going through.

I know I got to the point where you are by the end of my illustrious drinking career. None of us go into AA on a winning streak. I didn't trust anyone, I didn't have any friends - just acquaintances. I knew everything and everyone annoyed me. I live alone and do my life alone. It seriously sucks. Since I've been going to meetings I've slowly begun to come out of my shell. It didn't happen quickly but no one pushed me, either.

I've also started looking for outside activities other than walking. I've been spending time in a bookstore, I've gotten numbers for bird-watching groups, I've gone out to lunch and breakfast with people from meetings. I go to the zoo once a week and make sure to talk to people there. I am thinking of joining a hiking club. It doesn't happen all at once, but I have to start somewhere.

I agree that some people are not going to understand, but in time they will see new behaviors and be happy that you have made this change.

You are exactly where you are supposed to be today. I hope you enjoy your walk, sounds lovely.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:15 AM
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i can only do it with AA. i'm not all about AA, but it is a place of honesty that i have come to rely upon.

my drinking was pretty intense so it has taken me longer to physically recover. i'm a bit over 5 months. sobriety to me now is something i can almost hold in my hands at least metaphorically.

matter of fact, i was thinking about finally taking a day for myself. but i think i'll eat some fruit and bike to a meeting.

thanks for sharing!!!
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Luper View Post
On day 9 now and physically feeling great.

Been avoiding the phone, except for my son. My "friend" called this morning, so I let it go to voicemail. First comment was "are you drunk"? Ok, so maybe I deserve it, but it's that type of thing I am trying to avoid right now. My head is still in a fog, and my emotions are very up and down.

I do isolate and rarely leave my house. My therapist told me it's time to get out there and meet new friends. I'm going for a walk, by myself, to clear my head and get out of the house. Hard for me to meet new people as I am pretty introverted and don't trust easily anymore.

Hard to ignore the stares and comments, but I knew it was going to happen. But when that happens, I think to myself - well, you guys all think I'm still drinking, guess I might as well.

No worries, I have to quit listening to the negative and focus on myself this time. I will beat this and show them I can do it.

Thanks for listening.
One of the things I realized once I stopped drinking was how unbelievably empty my life has become There was only room for the addictions.
I too have few friends and over the last several years managed to isolate myself from everyone and everything save my DH. Alcohol takes everything you have......it wants you isolated and alone so it can have its way with you. The more alone we are the more we can feed our addiction.
I know how hard it is......
We need to take it slow. I force myself to leave the house at least once per day, even if only for a walk. I also force myself into public regularly, even if my AV tells me I can't or shouldn't. I don't want my comfort zone. My comfort zone is going to kill me, lol.

I have to force myself out of it or nothing will be any different. You are on the right track. Focus on you, not them.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:58 AM
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Great positive way forward Luper!!

Great job on Day 9!! Keep it going!!
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:05 AM
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First of all, great job on day 9! I'm on day 10, myself.

I think the one question I have come to loathe above all others, even though I've earned the reputation is, "Have you been drinking?" Holy sh1t, how I hate that question!! Sometimes, I'll be a smartass and say, "Sure, just had a glass of water. Earlier I had a cup of coffee, and later I might have some tea. Yeah, I've been drinking." I know that's rude and sarcastic but I get where you're coming from that it feels somewhat demotivating to be asked if you're drinking when you're not and haven't been. Of course, I even hated the question when I had been drinking.

I also tend to isolate and avoid people. I've been trying harder just to speak to random people I meet in public. Just strike up conversations about anything that comes to mind. I'm very introverted, too, so it takes a lot of effort and feels awkward, but it sure feels better than not saying anything to anyone at all.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:23 AM
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Awe Luper, Hang in there!

Remember you are getting sober for YOU and only you. People are going to talk NO MATTER what. And they are usually doing this bc they are miserable with their life. Remember it is your choice what comments or stares you allow to get to you.

Aha! The "have you been drinking" comment. Its almost like they want us to fail. sigh. Well at least thats how we take it mostly. Next time tell that person it bothers you when they ask that. Get that conversation over with and I hope they are decent enough of a human to not do it again if they know it bothers you. I had to mention things like this to people. My sobriety is most important to me and if it means a small awkward moment or a small argument oh well it needed to be said. People are also ignorant and it is possible they don't even see these comments making such a deep impact. Remember they aren't alcoholics...they don't and never will get it and that OK! either way you deserve to be respected to a manner that you think is acceptable The only way people will know and respect this manner is if you express it. You're worth it and these 9 days are something to hold one to bc believe me it gets better. My first two weeks were TERRIBLE. I just kept reminding myself those terrible days were like slices of heaven compared to any drunk day I had in the past 7 years! Keep going. I am here along with all of SR if you need a friend!

It's true getting out is a good thing. I isolated so much when I drank and I think any time I am alone my addiction just "goes there".

Day 9 is absolutely awesome! Hang in there and give it some time. Start building a new life. I am going to start going to meetings this week as I was facing the same mindset as you last night. Just know sober you are handling all this 100000 times better than you would if you were drinking still. Hang in there and hang around here, it helps!
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Old 06-23-2014, 08:08 AM
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I did attend AA meetings when I got out of rehab last year. It was very helpful, until I had a "situation" with one of the guys. Guess I'm pretty naive to think that people won't try to pick you up at AA meetings...anyway. I didn't go back.

Need to look for another group. I think there is a woman's only group here.

Thanks
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Old 06-23-2014, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Luper View Post
I do isolate and rarely leave my house. My therapist told me it's time to get out there and meet new friends. I'm going for a walk, by myself, to clear my head and get out of the house. Hard for me to meet new people as I am pretty introverted and don't trust easily anymore.)
I have this problem too. I am going to a meetup event Wednesday night with my husband so I can get some new people in my life.
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