Fingers Crossed

Only discovered this site through a bbc recommendation (minnie the minx, you've given me hope if nothing else X)

I'm pissed and have been on and off for about four or five years. Not sure how bad mt problem is but know i'm not happy with my life (as it is going) i'm not after sympathy... although i suppose a lot of people here are luike me and feel guilty about taking help, asking for it.

If you met me me you'd say give or take, a smiley optimistic person who hasn'y s bad awrod to say abpuyt anyone.

it's all low self esteem through the drink - kills you man.

supposed to be meeting someone but in the horrible situation - dunno if you've been there - can't face it sober but if she likes me drunk i'll hate myself even more.

dunno where to turn - don't really wanna be tee-total but can't see a way out. tried being sober and i agree and fully endorse how good it is and can be but i love my friends too much to turn my back on them and i really do enjoy nights when i'm drinking, as any alcoholic knows... it gives you a buzz. wanna stop or do i?

get strength from reading threads, god bless you good, good people but i sat in sipping vodka waiting for a text for the pub and only then could it curb my ambitions. I FEEL LIKE A FRAUD TYPING THIS KNOWING I'LL DRINK TOMORROW BUT I CAN APPRECIATE ALL THE WARMTH YOU ALL GIVE AND POSITIVITY, YOU HUMBLE ME ALL AND HAVE MY RESPECT AND PRAYERS XXX......
and thanks mootpoint, know i've let you down and if we stay internet buddy's i may again but even if you end upg hating me, Ann, you certainly aren't ancient. Be strong, trust me another drink will never make you feel any better X

Ann25

Welcome Fingers Crossed.
I really dont know what to say to you but if you keep that attitude that you have then you wont get sober. You really have to want to be. I had to keep going back out--and let me tell you--this is much better. Clean and sober for 37 days!!!!!!!!!!! Im loving it!!!!!!!!!

Peter

Of course you are confused.

Confusion is just one of the four dark horsemen you have to deal with as an alcoholic.There is lonliness, fear and bewilderment.

Alchol forces us to believe some untruths about ourselves.....we believe we cannot relate to people unless we get loaded (untrue)

We believe alcohol causes low self esteem (untrue) Low self esteem compounds alcoholism.

We believe we will not have any friends unless we drink (untrue) If people are truly our friends they will accept us wether we drink or not.If my friends think I am "abandoning" them because I stop drinking then I dont need those friends.

When you are ready to stop AA can help you.In the meantime stay in touch and let us know how things are with you.

Don S

You're not a fraud. These forums aren't just for sober people to congratulate each other on. If they were they'd be boring and wouldn't accomplish much.

Tell us more about what you like and dislike about drinking, and perhaps we can talk about ways to make sobriety seem more appealling and less frightening.

Thanks for posting,

Don S

minnie

Hey, Fingers Crossed. It's Minnie here. Yes, the very same from the BBC website. So, so, so glad you've found us over here. It's a big step you've made and I'm very proud of you for taking the chance.

They are a fantastic bunch at SR. Keep reading, keep posting and you'll figure out what you want in the end.

Take care and don't give up.

Love

M

degadar

Hi Fingers Crossed,

Another Britisher, Deg, here - Glad you found us.

There are many varied states of 'less confused' here from the wildly evangelical teetotal state of non-confusion to the '...at least I'm talking about it, doing something about it, and feeling better' state of non-confusion. Anywhere on that spectrum is a good place to be.

You know though that here that you're among people who won't judge you - as you probably fear your friends and family may. The brutal honesty that comes from someone else who's been there carries weight that cannot come from any other source of criticism or advice.

Welcome on board.

Deg.

MootPoint

Hey Fingers...
No matter what, I'm not going to wind up hating you. No worries there. And thank you for saying I'm not ancient

Seriously, you have to change your attitude and thought process. You have to WANT SOBRIETY. I put that in caps because your really, really have to want it.

And these boards are for ppl who want to quit, not exclusively for ppl who have quit yet. So again, no worries.

Keep posting and reading. It'll really help.