Thing I'm Finding Hard in AA
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
I do have a wise word of advice for other women though. If you do happen to have or get a male sponsor you may want to find a temporary female one just for when you do your 4th and 5th steps. 
I don't know about you all, but I don't want to tell no man all my dirty little sexy secrets. LOL.
I don't know about you all, but I don't want to tell no man all my dirty little sexy secrets. LOL.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by dollpart 
One thing I disagree with is that men in recovery should talk primarily to men, and women to women. I think it's an old-fashioned idea, and one that makes me uncomfortable. Surely, if recovery can be seen as a shared experience, the gender of the person you are talking to shouldn't be so important? I feel more comfortable talking to men (I'm female). So what?
Please comment and correct me if I am wrong, or simply have the wrong idea.
Please comment and correct me if I am wrong, or simply have the wrong idea.
other than that most all is ok
if it fits ones moral judgment
Mountainman
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 322
Originally Posted by FlyerFan
I do have a wise word of advice for other women though. If you do happen to have or get a male sponsor you may want to find a temporary female one just for when you do your 4th and 5th steps. I don't know about you all, but I don't want to tell no man all my dirty little sexy secrets. LOL.
I don't know about you all, but I don't want to tell no man all my dirty little sexy secrets. LOL.Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by dollpart
Think I'd feel more embarrassed talking about my dirty little sex secrets to a woman!
MM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Did a 5th step once on an AA retreat, but I'm not sure if I told him everything. To be honest, I'm not sure if I could ever share everything with anybody, but will consider looking for a goat. Sounds safe enough. Maybe a talking parrot would be better. At least I'd get some feedback!! I could never understand how anybody shares there deepest, darkest secrets with anybody, whether you know them well or not. I guess I'm just not desperate enough to do that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Boleo
I shared my dirty little secrets with a goat. However, I chose a different goat than was in my dirty little secrets.
You always want to blindfold the goat
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
AA in the early days didn't fully take the future society into consideration. And there are those who feel it (big book) should never be changed. Even though it is clearly an archaic script.
Dollpart, whatever works for you. The man/man woman/woman thing was to protect women from predatory men. Or vice-verse.
Dollpart, whatever works for you. The man/man woman/woman thing was to protect women from predatory men. Or vice-verse.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by gardendiva
Really? This a requirement of steps 4 and 5?
But yes, if you do a thorough 4th and 5th step, you will be talking about sex. Lol.
I just know from my own experience that it was a lot easier for me to share intimate things like that with a woman. I also have a male friend who has a female sponsor but he did his sex inventory with another guy, just so there wouldn't be any awkwardness between him and his female sponsor.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
My opinion is that this relates to Sponsor/Sponsee relationships and particularly the fourth & fifth steps. Share and interact with anyone whose sobriety you respect either as a model to reach for or a person you can help. So long as the interaction is strictly platonic and both parties know and respect that, it's all good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by dollpart
One thing I disagree with is that men in recovery should talk primarily to men, and women to women. I think it's an old-fashioned idea, and one that makes me uncomfortable. Surely, if recovery can be seen as a shared experience, the gender of the person you are talking to shouldn't be so important? I feel more comfortable talking to men (I'm female). So what?
Please comment and correct me if I am wrong, or simply have the wrong idea.
Please comment and correct me if I am wrong, or simply have the wrong idea.
I almost always see men and women talking after meetings in Southern Cal.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
I go to LGBT meetings and it's really common to have a guy sponsor with a girl sponsee and vice versa. Being as I'm usually one of the only women that attends the my home group regularly, I talk to the guys and I like it. Some of my closest relationships in the rooms are guys. I did go outside of the group to get a sponsor and I'm glad that I had, it has opened my up to different people in the program.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
