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Thing I'm Finding Hard in AA

Old 06-16-2014, 02:45 PM
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I do have a wise word of advice for other women though. If you do happen to have or get a male sponsor you may want to find a temporary female one just for when you do your 4th and 5th steps. I don't know about you all, but I don't want to tell no man all my dirty little sexy secrets. LOL.
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Old 06-16-2014, 02:52 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by dollpart View Post
One thing I disagree with is that men in recovery should talk primarily to men, and women to women. I think it's an old-fashioned idea, and one that makes me uncomfortable. Surely, if recovery can be seen as a shared experience, the gender of the person you are talking to shouldn't be so important? I feel more comfortable talking to men (I'm female). So what?

Please comment and correct me if I am wrong, or simply have the wrong idea.
Same sex should not sponsor the opposite sex
other than that most all is ok

if it fits ones moral judgment

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Old 06-16-2014, 03:24 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by FlyerFan View Post
I do have a wise word of advice for other women though. If you do happen to have or get a male sponsor you may want to find a temporary female one just for when you do your 4th and 5th steps. I don't know about you all, but I don't want to tell no man all my dirty little sexy secrets. LOL.
Really? This a requirement of steps 4 and 5?
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:46 PM
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I agree. It is old fashioned.
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:57 PM
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Originally Posted by gardendiva View Post
Really? This a requirement of steps 4 and 5?
Think I'd feel more embarrassed talking about my dirty little sex secrets to a woman!
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:19 PM
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Originally Posted by dollpart View Post

Think I'd feel more embarrassed talking about my dirty little sex secrets to a woman!
well (possibly) -- if you discuss them with a man get ready for what's coming

MM
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:26 PM
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Hmmm, actually maybe I'd rather keep them to myself entirely
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:32 PM
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You gotta share them with somebody...

I shared my dirty little secrets with a goat. However, I chose a different goat than was in my dirty little secrets.
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:32 PM
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Hahahaha!
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:35 PM
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Oh dear, oh dear.
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Old 06-16-2014, 05:02 PM
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Did a 5th step once on an AA retreat, but I'm not sure if I told him everything. To be honest, I'm not sure if I could ever share everything with anybody, but will consider looking for a goat. Sounds safe enough. Maybe a talking parrot would be better. At least I'd get some feedback!! I could never understand how anybody shares there deepest, darkest secrets with anybody, whether you know them well or not. I guess I'm just not desperate enough to do that.
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Old 06-16-2014, 05:04 PM
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I will do it... *takes a deep breath*
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Old 06-16-2014, 05:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Boleo View Post

I shared my dirty little secrets with a goat. However, I chose a different goat than was in my dirty little secrets.
Coming from Mountainmanbob
You always want to blindfold the goat
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Old 06-16-2014, 06:42 PM
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AA in the early days didn't fully take the future society into consideration. And there are those who feel it (big book) should never be changed. Even though it is clearly an archaic script.

Dollpart, whatever works for you. The man/man woman/woman thing was to protect women from predatory men. Or vice-verse.
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Old 06-16-2014, 09:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Boleo View Post
You gotta share them with somebody...

I shared my dirty little secrets with a goat. However, I chose a different goat than was in my dirty little secrets.
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Old 06-17-2014, 04:46 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by gardendiva View Post
Really? This a requirement of steps 4 and 5?
There are no requirements, only suggestions.

But yes, if you do a thorough 4th and 5th step, you will be talking about sex. Lol.

I just know from my own experience that it was a lot easier for me to share intimate things like that with a woman. I also have a male friend who has a female sponsor but he did his sex inventory with another guy, just so there wouldn't be any awkwardness between him and his female sponsor.
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Old 06-17-2014, 05:36 AM
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My opinion is that this relates to Sponsor/Sponsee relationships and particularly the fourth & fifth steps. Share and interact with anyone whose sobriety you respect either as a model to reach for or a person you can help. So long as the interaction is strictly platonic and both parties know and respect that, it's all good.
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Old 06-17-2014, 05:41 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by dollpart View Post
One thing I disagree with is that men in recovery should talk primarily to men, and women to women. I think it's an old-fashioned idea, and one that makes me uncomfortable. Surely, if recovery can be seen as a shared experience, the gender of the person you are talking to shouldn't be so important? I feel more comfortable talking to men (I'm female). So what?

Please comment and correct me if I am wrong, or simply have the wrong idea.
Generally speaking I think it is a good idea concerning sponsorship but chatting after a meeting?

I almost always see men and women talking after meetings in Southern Cal.
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Old 06-17-2014, 05:55 AM
  # 59 (permalink)  
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I go to LGBT meetings and it's really common to have a guy sponsor with a girl sponsee and vice versa. Being as I'm usually one of the only women that attends the my home group regularly, I talk to the guys and I like it. Some of my closest relationships in the rooms are guys. I did go outside of the group to get a sponsor and I'm glad that I had, it has opened my up to different people in the program.
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