malcolmsloan

I had to walk away from the band I had been playing with. It was hard because we were writing some good songs and had plans to record them soon. However, alcohol was having a major impact on the actions of these guys and I just can't be around that. Not that it will make me drink, but it's just too hard to be around. Now, they consider me the bad guy, the 'quitter.' My leaving ended the project because I was the one coordinating practices and keeping the whole thing on track. I feel like I burned some bridges, but I just got out of that life and the energy was just too intense for me. Tough one. Also hard because I have known these guys for about 20 years.

doggonecarl

Good for you to put your recovery first, and difficult, I'm sure. Not everyone can make the big changes they need to do. You did!

You know what I'm thinking? Solo musical project.

Good luck.

ScottFromWI

A tough choice but a strong one Malcolm, congrats. Leaving doesn't mean you don't still have the same talent or potential down the road, this was about alcohol pure and simple.

Sasha4

You did good.
It might be all a bit raw and new for your band members.
In time they will come to understand.
Its hard for non addicts to understand why addicts have to make the decisions they do or be so black and white in that 'no drink means no drink'. There is no grey area that might mean a few cans are okay. Or just four shots.

Who knows, maybe this could be the right time to find a new sober band who are all about the music and less about the booze?

Wishing you the best xx

leviathan

i the door open if they can ease off?

malcolmsloan

Leviathan, two of the guys are like brothers to me, which is again why this was tough, but yeah, I'd play with them if things were different. The other guy I don't know too well, so I'd be a bit hesitant, and he's going through some heavy stuff. But I have an open mind, I just have to put my sobriety first, even if that means not jamming for a bit.
Thanks for making me think about the question.

LBrain

when I was in rehab I met a guy who gave up a gig to go to rehab. they were already doing studio work - had to get a fill in for some previous obligations. It was tough for sure, but the group supported him. The toughest part was to continue another month or two in another state far away in extra rehab. He did it for himself. I spent a lot of time with him as he was making the decision. I know it's tough. I know he made the right choice for him. Putting an album on hold to get well. That's commitment. He did a lot of the writing too.

You did the same. You can always get it back after you have some clean time. Bravo.

FeelingGreat

Hi Mal, very strong of you. I hope they'll understand in time.

Bostonsportsfan

It sounds like you made the right decision and if you've known these guys for long enough and their "true" friends, they will understand. If you need to leave the band to stay sober, you should leave the band.

Dee74

Hi Malcolm - I'm sorry. I know what a tough choice that was.

I hope, in time, the other guys will come to understand why you've you've done what you've done.

I had a very similar situation...it was rough for me cos I was always the guy turning up to practice or to gigs smashed...then I was the sober one trying to crack the whip...there was a bit of a resentment about that.

Fences have been mended now tho and most of my old bandmates applaud what I did to save my life

D