I just can't stop!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scottsville, Virginia
Posts: 168
I just can't stop!
I am back again for those who remember me - I just can't get that 1st day of sobriety - I used to be able to stop for months at a time but I guess life's stresses have got to me and I just can't quit. I am suffering physically and mentally over this. I don't sleep but I eat OK. My Dr. gave me some meds to help but they seem to make me want to drink more and now it is hard to even stop the meds. What do I do? I can't go into a clinic or anything because I am needed here at home....Any ideas?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
bluesman, if yer suffering physically and mentally, do you truly believe your affectiveness in the need area is that good?
is it life stresses causing the drinking or because you are an alcoholic?
I hope you can look at this from a different perspective and see that it could be possible to go into treatment. without you sober, how good is home honestly?
I would also suggest looking into AA.
is it life stresses causing the drinking or because you are an alcoholic?
I hope you can look at this from a different perspective and see that it could be possible to go into treatment. without you sober, how good is home honestly?
I would also suggest looking into AA.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Blues, I was where you are at not too long ago except I couldn't eat, wretched terribly from every drink (not just the first), eyesight failing, IBS repeatedly every morning, chest ache, liver ache, pancreas/spleen pain and lots of mental fog. I did not have any "meds" but have done that too in the past with horrific results. Some can take them responsibly--I could not.I was doing exactly what you and many of us have done to either die or choose life. I chose a little over two weeks ago to take steps to get off the Highway to hell and am now 36 hrs without and would not trade it for anything. Best wishes to you from someone who was there very recently.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scottsville, Virginia
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by reisingwood1 
Blues, I was where you are at not too long ago except I couldn't eat, wretched terribly from every drink (not just the first), eyesight failing, IBS repeatedly every morning, chest ache, liver ache, pancreas/spleen pain and lots of mental fog. I did not have any "meds" but have done that too in the past with horrific results. Some can take them responsibly--I could not.I was doing exactly what you and many of us have done to either die or choose life. I chose a little over two weeks ago to take steps to get off the Highway to hell and am now 36 hrs without and would not trade it for anything. Best wishes to you from someone who was there very recently.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scottsville, Virginia
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by tomsteve
bluesman, if yer suffering physically and mentally, do you truly believe your affectiveness in the need area is that good?
is it life stresses causing the drinking or because you are an alcoholic?
I hope you can look at this from a different perspective and see that it could be possible to go into treatment. without you sober, how good is home honestly?
I would also suggest looking into AA.
is it life stresses causing the drinking or because you are an alcoholic?
I hope you can look at this from a different perspective and see that it could be possible to go into treatment. without you sober, how good is home honestly?
I would also suggest looking into AA.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scottsville, Virginia
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by Dee74
What about AA or something Bluesman?
D
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sometimes we need to take drastic measures Bluesman. Is your doctor aware of your drinking? He might have some suggestions for things you could try.
I personally used SR as my sole support mechanism, but i also went to my doctor and came fully clean to help with the physical side of things. I had a lot of the same kinds of IBS type stuff and several other issues, nearly all of them were a direct result of my drinking and most cleared up after I quit.
Regarding your aversion to AA, its understandable but remember that this is now and alcoholism is progressive. What you did 5 years ago may not work anymore, and you may need help from the outside. Not everyone can do this alone. There are things like outpatient rehab, CBT, and many others that you could try but discounting things just because they "aren't for you" is a cop-out. You will need to do things that you are uncomfortable with to get sober no matter what method you choose.
I personally used SR as my sole support mechanism, but i also went to my doctor and came fully clean to help with the physical side of things. I had a lot of the same kinds of IBS type stuff and several other issues, nearly all of them were a direct result of my drinking and most cleared up after I quit.
Regarding your aversion to AA, its understandable but remember that this is now and alcoholism is progressive. What you did 5 years ago may not work anymore, and you may need help from the outside. Not everyone can do this alone. There are things like outpatient rehab, CBT, and many others that you could try but discounting things just because they "aren't for you" is a cop-out. You will need to do things that you are uncomfortable with to get sober no matter what method you choose.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scottsville, Virginia
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Sometimes we need to take drastic measures Bluesman. Is your doctor aware of your drinking? He might have some suggestions for things you could try.
I personally used SR as my sole support mechanism, but i also went to my doctor and came fully clean to help with the physical side of things. I had a lot of the same kinds of IBS type stuff and several other issues, nearly all of them were a direct result of my drinking and most cleared up after I quit.
Regarding your aversion to AA, its understandable but remember that this is now and alcoholism is progressive. What you did 5 years ago may not work anymore, and you may need help from the outside. Not everyone can do this alone. There are things like outpatient rehab, CBT, and many others that you could try but discounting things just because they "aren't for you" is a cop-out. You will need to do things that you are uncomfortable with to get sober no matter what method you choose.
I personally used SR as my sole support mechanism, but i also went to my doctor and came fully clean to help with the physical side of things. I had a lot of the same kinds of IBS type stuff and several other issues, nearly all of them were a direct result of my drinking and most cleared up after I quit.
Regarding your aversion to AA, its understandable but remember that this is now and alcoholism is progressive. What you did 5 years ago may not work anymore, and you may need help from the outside. Not everyone can do this alone. There are things like outpatient rehab, CBT, and many others that you could try but discounting things just because they "aren't for you" is a cop-out. You will need to do things that you are uncomfortable with to get sober no matter what method you choose.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Glad you are here and sharing. Do not go to the store at 4:00 p.m., or anytime you feel the urge to drink. Do something else, read, SR, sleep, listen to music, (whatever) until the urge passes, don't take the first sip of alcohol, no matter what. Do what works best for yourself at this point in your life regarding your recovery. When you feel an urge, get on SR and read, share and so on. Make staying sober the first priority in your life. Take care
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 35
Hi Bluesman,
Towards the end of my drinking, I too was thinking if I could just get 1 day, or maybe 2-3 days, I would be OK. I could then concentrate on moderating. Just being honest, that's what I was thinking. Truth is, I was waaay past that possibility. I was physically dependent. It was a horrible time -- I could no longer function without having the alcohol. 1 day wasn't going to be possible.
A few years back, I could do that. Have a particularly hard couple of weeks and decide to slow down. It's progressive, and I learned the hard way. What use to be possible, slowing down and getting my feet under me, was just not the case.
One morning I went to the emergency room because of horrible withdrawals and anxiety. The next day I was off to rehab for a month. I risked my job BIG TIME, but it all worked out in the end.
I don't completely know your situation obviously, but I just want to let you know what happened to me.
All the best,
Methodman
Towards the end of my drinking, I too was thinking if I could just get 1 day, or maybe 2-3 days, I would be OK. I could then concentrate on moderating. Just being honest, that's what I was thinking. Truth is, I was waaay past that possibility. I was physically dependent. It was a horrible time -- I could no longer function without having the alcohol. 1 day wasn't going to be possible.
A few years back, I could do that. Have a particularly hard couple of weeks and decide to slow down. It's progressive, and I learned the hard way. What use to be possible, slowing down and getting my feet under me, was just not the case.
One morning I went to the emergency room because of horrible withdrawals and anxiety. The next day I was off to rehab for a month. I risked my job BIG TIME, but it all worked out in the end.
I don't completely know your situation obviously, but I just want to let you know what happened to me.
All the best,
Methodman
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Hello Bluesman...Welcome back. 
I love your screen name. Bluesman. Music..!!!
You must luv music by seeing you with your
guitar. Right? Anything and everything about
music is what I love.
Can you share something about ur music
with us? I would love to hear your ESH -
experience, strengths and hopes about
your music.
I for myself have always loved music but
never learned to play an instrument. However,
I love listening to it, whistling to it, humming
to it. There is something about music that fills
my heart, mind and soul with joy. Even more so
in recovery.
Maybe, music can bring you a freedom in
recovery and life that you never experienced
before.
Addiction is an illness. Once we learn how this
addiction affects our minds, bodies and souls,
then incorpering many useful, healthy tools into
it then we begin to heal and become more healthy
and happy in life for more yrs. to come.
I also learned in recovery that I never ever have
to go thru anything in life alone again. You never
have to sit there at home alone all by urself trying
to not drink all by urself again.
Recovery programs whether it be AA or some sort
of program is made up of a bunch of folks just like
us learning to live a day at a time without pouring
poison down there throats or using a drug to numb
their feelings or affect their actions.
I was thinking about acid yesterday. Seeing
pictures of how when acid is poured on something,
it burns and eats away at it. It's horrible to think
alcohol or drugs actually does that to our insides.
Once we realize that all those nicely pretty wrapped
up bottles of alcohol is none other than a bottle of acid,
poison, visualizing it in our minds when we see it,
then we learn to leave it alone. Get rid of it. Stop
dreaming about it, fantasizing about it. Wanting it,
craving it.
It all destroys so many beautiful, talented, caring
people in the world.
My husband is a few yrs older than you and we
are both in recovery enjoying life sober. We are
still newlyweds and when I met him I saw he owned
a Harley. Since then, we have triked it out for safer
riding together and love riding and enjoying life
outside a car. It is absolutely awesome, freeing,
exillerating to share something so rewarding in
recovery.
There is so much life waiting ahead of you to
enjoy beginning today, one day at a time, with
help, guidance, Faith, a program of recovery and
the fellowship to achieve it.
I love your screen name. Bluesman. Music..!!!
You must luv music by seeing you with your
guitar. Right?
Anything and everything aboutmusic is what I love.
Can you share something about ur music
with us? I would love to hear your ESH -
experience, strengths and hopes about
your music.
I for myself have always loved music but
never learned to play an instrument. However,
I love listening to it, whistling to it, humming
to it. There is something about music that fills
my heart, mind and soul with joy. Even more so
in recovery.
Maybe, music can bring you a freedom in
recovery and life that you never experienced
before.
Addiction is an illness. Once we learn how this
addiction affects our minds, bodies and souls,
then incorpering many useful, healthy tools into
it then we begin to heal and become more healthy
and happy in life for more yrs. to come.
I also learned in recovery that I never ever have
to go thru anything in life alone again. You never
have to sit there at home alone all by urself trying
to not drink all by urself again.
Recovery programs whether it be AA or some sort
of program is made up of a bunch of folks just like
us learning to live a day at a time without pouring
poison down there throats or using a drug to numb
their feelings or affect their actions.
I was thinking about acid yesterday. Seeing
pictures of how when acid is poured on something,
it burns and eats away at it. It's horrible to think
alcohol or drugs actually does that to our insides.
Once we realize that all those nicely pretty wrapped
up bottles of alcohol is none other than a bottle of acid,
poison, visualizing it in our minds when we see it,
then we learn to leave it alone. Get rid of it. Stop
dreaming about it, fantasizing about it. Wanting it,
craving it.
It all destroys so many beautiful, talented, caring
people in the world.
My husband is a few yrs older than you and we
are both in recovery enjoying life sober. We are
still newlyweds and when I met him I saw he owned
a Harley. Since then, we have triked it out for safer
riding together and love riding and enjoying life
outside a car. It is absolutely awesome, freeing,
exillerating to share something so rewarding in
recovery.
There is so much life waiting ahead of you to
enjoy beginning today, one day at a time, with
help, guidance, Faith, a program of recovery and
the fellowship to achieve it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scottsville, Virginia
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by methodman1019
Hi Bluesman,
Towards the end of my drinking, I too was thinking if I could just get 1 day, or maybe 2-3 days, I would be OK. I could then concentrate on moderating. Just being honest, that's what I was thinking. Truth is, I was waaay past that possibility. I was physically dependent. It was a horrible time -- I could no longer function without having the alcohol. 1 day wasn't going to be possible.
A few years back, I could do that. Have a particularly hard couple of weeks and decide to slow down. It's progressive, and I learned the hard way. What use to be possible, slowing down and getting my feet under me, was just not the case.
One morning I went to the emergency room because of horrible withdrawals and anxiety. The next day I was off to rehab for a month. I risked my job BIG TIME, but it all worked out in the end.
I don't completely know your situation obviously, but I just want to let you know what happened to me.
All the best,
Methodman
Towards the end of my drinking, I too was thinking if I could just get 1 day, or maybe 2-3 days, I would be OK. I could then concentrate on moderating. Just being honest, that's what I was thinking. Truth is, I was waaay past that possibility. I was physically dependent. It was a horrible time -- I could no longer function without having the alcohol. 1 day wasn't going to be possible.
A few years back, I could do that. Have a particularly hard couple of weeks and decide to slow down. It's progressive, and I learned the hard way. What use to be possible, slowing down and getting my feet under me, was just not the case.
One morning I went to the emergency room because of horrible withdrawals and anxiety. The next day I was off to rehab for a month. I risked my job BIG TIME, but it all worked out in the end.
I don't completely know your situation obviously, but I just want to let you know what happened to me.
All the best,
Methodman
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scottsville, Virginia
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by aasharon90
Hello Bluesman...Welcome back.
I love your screen name. Bluesman. Music..!!!
You must luv music by seeing you with your
guitar. Right? Anything and everything about
music is what I love.
Can you share something about ur music
with us? I would love to hear your ESH -
experience, strengths and hopes about
your music.
I for myself have always loved music but
never learned to play an instrument. However,
I love listening to it, whistling to it, humming
to it. There is something about music that fills
my heart, mind and soul with joy. Even more so
in recovery.
Maybe, music can bring you a freedom in
recovery and life that you never experienced
before.
Addiction is an illness. Once we learn how this
addiction affects our minds, bodies and souls,
then incorpering many useful, healthy tools into
it then we begin to heal and become more healthy
and happy in life for more yrs. to come.
I also learned in recovery that I never ever have
to go thru anything in life alone again. You never
have to sit there at home alone all by urself trying
to not drink all by urself again.
Recovery programs whether it be AA or some sort
of program is made up of a bunch of folks just like
us learning to live a day at a time without pouring
poison down there throats or using a drug to numb
their feelings or affect their actions.
I was thinking about acid yesterday. Seeing
pictures of how when acid is poured on something,
it burns and eats away at it. It's horrible to think
alcohol or drugs actually does that to our insides.
Once we realize that all those nicely pretty wrapped
up bottles of alcohol is none other than a bottle of acid,
poison, visualizing it in our minds when we see it,
then we learn to leave it alone. Get rid of it. Stop
dreaming about it, fantasizing about it. Wanting it,
craving it.
It all destroys so many beautiful, talented, caring
people in the world.
My husband is a few yrs older than you and we
are both in recovery enjoying life sober. We are
still newlyweds and when I met him I saw he owned
a Harley. Since then, we have triked it out for safer
riding together and love riding and enjoying life
outside a car. It is absolutely awesome, freeing,
exillerating to share something so rewarding in
recovery.
There is so much life waiting ahead of you to
enjoy beginning today, one day at a time, with
help, guidance, Faith, a program of recovery and
the fellowship to achieve it.
I love your screen name. Bluesman. Music..!!!
You must luv music by seeing you with your
guitar. Right?
Anything and everything aboutmusic is what I love.
Can you share something about ur music
with us? I would love to hear your ESH -
experience, strengths and hopes about
your music.
I for myself have always loved music but
never learned to play an instrument. However,
I love listening to it, whistling to it, humming
to it. There is something about music that fills
my heart, mind and soul with joy. Even more so
in recovery.
Maybe, music can bring you a freedom in
recovery and life that you never experienced
before.
Addiction is an illness. Once we learn how this
addiction affects our minds, bodies and souls,
then incorpering many useful, healthy tools into
it then we begin to heal and become more healthy
and happy in life for more yrs. to come.
I also learned in recovery that I never ever have
to go thru anything in life alone again. You never
have to sit there at home alone all by urself trying
to not drink all by urself again.
Recovery programs whether it be AA or some sort
of program is made up of a bunch of folks just like
us learning to live a day at a time without pouring
poison down there throats or using a drug to numb
their feelings or affect their actions.
I was thinking about acid yesterday. Seeing
pictures of how when acid is poured on something,
it burns and eats away at it. It's horrible to think
alcohol or drugs actually does that to our insides.
Once we realize that all those nicely pretty wrapped
up bottles of alcohol is none other than a bottle of acid,
poison, visualizing it in our minds when we see it,
then we learn to leave it alone. Get rid of it. Stop
dreaming about it, fantasizing about it. Wanting it,
craving it.
It all destroys so many beautiful, talented, caring
people in the world.
My husband is a few yrs older than you and we
are both in recovery enjoying life sober. We are
still newlyweds and when I met him I saw he owned
a Harley. Since then, we have triked it out for safer
riding together and love riding and enjoying life
outside a car. It is absolutely awesome, freeing,
exillerating to share something so rewarding in
recovery.
There is so much life waiting ahead of you to
enjoy beginning today, one day at a time, with
help, guidance, Faith, a program of recovery and
the fellowship to achieve it.
My music was a good/bad thing because music and alcohol for me go hand in hand. I love Blues, Eric Clapton especially, but I write my own style which is more of a pop sound with Blues guitar. You can listyen to my stuff on MySpace.
https://myspace.com/joecalabretta/music/songs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I worked it to get that one day and then I was on my way.
I did whatever I could differently to avoid the same booze pitstops and traps.
I did not sit in front of the TV.
I did not stop for drink on the way home.
I did not let myself be idle.
It was all well planned and the top of the agenda was to get to sleep and then when I woke up I would be starting day 2.
Maybe too simplistic but here I am 2 years and 3 months later.
I wish you the best xx
I did whatever I could differently to avoid the same booze pitstops and traps.
I did not sit in front of the TV.
I did not stop for drink on the way home.
I did not let myself be idle.
It was all well planned and the top of the agenda was to get to sleep and then when I woke up I would be starting day 2.
Maybe too simplistic but here I am 2 years and 3 months later.
I wish you the best xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scottsville, Virginia
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by Sasha4
I worked it to get that one day and then I was on my way.
I did whatever I could differently to avoid the same booze pitstops and traps.
I did not sit in front of the TV.
I did not stop for drink on the way home.
I did not let myself be idle.
It was all well planned and the top of the agenda was to get to sleep and then when I woke up I would be starting day 2.
Maybe too simplistic but here I am 2 years and 3 months later.
I wish you the best xx
I did whatever I could differently to avoid the same booze pitstops and traps.
I did not sit in front of the TV.
I did not stop for drink on the way home.
I did not let myself be idle.
It was all well planned and the top of the agenda was to get to sleep and then when I woke up I would be starting day 2.
Maybe too simplistic but here I am 2 years and 3 months later.
I wish you the best xx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Bluesman,
since you've told us all the things you cannot do and that do not work, i'm wondering if Antabuse wouldn't be a med to use to keep you from drinking for a while to get over that initial backsliding/not getting a day one even. it might just give you that chance of a foothold.
since you've told us all the things you cannot do and that do not work, i'm wondering if Antabuse wouldn't be a med to use to keep you from drinking for a while to get over that initial backsliding/not getting a day one even. it might just give you that chance of a foothold.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Bluesman1952
Thank you and congrats on your success - not so easy for me for some reason but I am Believer. :-)
I hope you can find a way to keep from picking up today. Maybe pick a guitar and play something you haven't in a long time, or come up with something new instead? I checked out your music and you've got a good thing going there.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
I'm still listening to your music in between
watching the PGA Pinehurst Golf Tournament
on TV. So far what ive heard sounds NICE...!!!!
Alcohol and drugs can interfere with our
chemical imbalance in our bodies where
anxiety or depression is a result.
I first learned how to stay sober a day
at a time with a recovery program and AA.
Then sought help for my health from
physicians who were aware of my drinking
and recovery history being thoroughly open
and honest with them. If a medicine is prescribed
to me then to make sure nothing is given that
is habitforming or narcotic.
I wanted to make sure nothing and I mean
nothing would interfere with my recovery
and sobriety.
Having the WILLINGNESS and keeping an
OPENMIND to suggestions by others and
to follow thru with them is a good strong
start to begin living a life in recovery.
watching the PGA Pinehurst Golf Tournament
on TV. So far what ive heard sounds NICE...!!!!
Alcohol and drugs can interfere with our
chemical imbalance in our bodies where
anxiety or depression is a result.
I first learned how to stay sober a day
at a time with a recovery program and AA.
Then sought help for my health from
physicians who were aware of my drinking
and recovery history being thoroughly open
and honest with them. If a medicine is prescribed
to me then to make sure nothing is given that
is habitforming or narcotic.
I wanted to make sure nothing and I mean
nothing would interfere with my recovery
and sobriety.
Having the WILLINGNESS and keeping an
OPENMIND to suggestions by others and
to follow thru with them is a good strong
start to begin living a life in recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scottsville, Virginia
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by fini
Bluesman,
since you've told us all the things you cannot do and that do not work, i'm wondering if Antabuse wouldn't be a med to use to keep you from drinking for a while to get over that initial backsliding/not getting a day one even. it might just give you that chance of a foothold.
since you've told us all the things you cannot do and that do not work, i'm wondering if Antabuse wouldn't be a med to use to keep you from drinking for a while to get over that initial backsliding/not getting a day one even. it might just give you that chance of a foothold.
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