Choices

Hi all, my name is John and I'm an alcoholic. I started to post last night and ended up not doing it. I'm 23 and have been drinking since 17. I could tell stories about drinking a case a day for over 2 years and all of the insanity that comes with that, but I'm here to ask for prayers and thoughts. I got out of detox(that sucked) 2 days ago and have drank since I got out. I'm really fussy right now and just wanted to write a few things down to help me calm down. I perhaps might not be making much sense, but I honestly feel very scared and afraid. Not only of what I have to make up for(lost time, job, and school) but how I deal with life w/out alcohol. I've been reading here for awhile and I think that this is a wonderful source of information and support. My biggest question: how do I quit feeling "terminally unique"? Thank you all for any support and answers.

John

best

Hello John

Welcome

You said you ahve been reading here for a bit and then say you feel terminally unique"? If I walk through a cow pasture and then change my shoes.... well lets just say I know what you are feeling in many areas.
been there done that sorta thing...as have many others who show up here.
The best way I found to stop drinking.... don't pick up the first one.
Have you looked into AA and meetings? You will find much support,info and if needed...help there.
There are many here who could say the same thing.... if I can do it, I know you can.
Rather then looking at the whole... how am I going to fix this and fix that and stop drinking and..... Try smaller lists... try a day at a time. Today I am not going to drink. Then tomorrow start your day with today I am not going to drink. before you know it the days become weeks and soon enough they become years. Work on the days... the months and years will take care of themself.

Choices

Best, thank you. I didn't get here overnight, so I can't fix it overnight. It's nice to know that there is a common theme w/ alkies. I'm going to a double A meeting tomorrow and will try to listen and be humble. For me it is very easy to be prideful...dad was an alcoholic, his brother, both grandpas, multiple uncles and aunts, but I realize that I can't let that destroy me. Thanks again.

John

best

In my drinking days I was prideful of how much I could drink.
Looking back at a night or 3 and the things that went along with the drinking....well some pride isn't long lived.

Something you can be proud of... you went to detox, you came to the boards here and tomorrow you will be looking for a meeting.
That should give you some pride... You are doing what needs be done.
Collect some pride in yourself every day...one day at a time.

Peter

I am a unique individual and I have an ego.

There is nothing wrong with being unique and taking pride in myself and my accomplishments.It is when I allow my overburdened sense of self to affect the way i relate to others that I run into problems.

If you want to stop feeling "terminally unique" (as you put it) then the first thing you have to do is change your attitude and behaviour.

Maybe then you will just start to feel "unique".

Chy

Hi John and welcome,

Lot's of unique individual around here to help and offer support. We've got to be ready and completly willing to say that final good-bye to our "comfort companion". It can be done, your fear of sobriety is normal, but I've found it was a senseless fear as now, I'm truly happy, and can live with myself as a sober individual. So can you!

KelKel

Hi John

Welcome to sober recovery.

I knew you were kindred spirit when I read the word "Fussy" in your post.
That is one of my favorite words. I use it often...

It sounds like you might be ready to address a problem in your life...?
Just from the hereditary factors alone, it is wise of you to take a very serious look at yourself and others who are in the same boat. We all have a common goal, to get better and be happy (joyful). Our addictions make us think that they make us happy, but in reality they have every intention of taking us out.

Anywho..glad you are here, it's here if you want it to be.

1Marty

Hi John, at the AA meetings, you will find that there are others like you who have gone through simmilar situations, and share the same problems. Take comfort in knowing that your not alone in this. And as Best said, don't worry about how to live life without alcohol. Life will take care of itself if you concentrate on sobriety on day at a time. Welcome to Sober recovery!

Fingers Crossed

John, I too am a 23 year old bloke and can appreciate what you are going through. There seems to be a bit of a social stigma with people our age facing up to our problems and fears but my god are they real. I wish I had as much courage as you do, take pride in that!
In my life it seems that I've just slipped into familiarity with the drink, not that it does me any good but it just seems easier at times to ignore the problem.
The first few days sober are really tough but once you make it through those you'll start to feel like a different person and you'll get that spring back in your step! AA didn't work for me but I'd definately recommend trying it, there are many good people around who know how you're feeling and can share strength with you.
I wish you well, John, you really can come through the other side of this. Good luck, you are in my thoughts, mate.

MootPoint

I'm Ann, alcoholic and addict

John and Fingers Crossed, I am so glad to see ppl your age here! You haven't waited until you are ancient like me (40)

Terminally unique. You can be a unique individual without being, as we call it, "terminally unique". What you'll learn if you hang around here long enough and/or if you go to AA meetings (hint hint) is that your drinking story is not unique. And, sooner or later, someone will tell your story. When THAT happened to me, it was a cage rattler.

As a 23 yr old, you have plenty of time to make up for lost time. Just stop drinking now. It is tough, but, as they say in AA (hint hint).... "one day at a time". And "think through the drink"....... think how it will make you feel in the morning, how it will make you regret that drink.

Choices

Thanks all for the replys. "Fingers", I get what you are saying. Not that I don't have a problem, but damn, all the folks my age drink, so why can't I?!!! But no, I understand that I have a problem with drinking, but more than that I'm starting to understand that dealing with this now is more a blessing than a curse(as my mind and body want to tell me). I am starting to enjoy learning about and dealing with my problem...for me it is easier to look at it as a place for wisdom rather than a place for pain and remorse...however those days are many and close between! My dad told me on my 21st(he didn't know that I was drinking at the time) that I better not end up in a jailhouse or a morgue and if I did end up in jail I would end up wishing I was in a morgue. Amazing how true that was for me. Anyways, I'm in Austin, Tx. don't know if anyone is from 'round here, but if you are, howdy. I'll try to post here as often as possible. Nice thing is I get to go to the lake tomorrow and that will be nice. Night.

John