What to say to someone who relapsed
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 19
What to say to someone who relapsed
After three years sober, my sponsee relapsed and went on a week long bender. She has now been sober 48 hours. I am going to meet her tonight and just wondered if anyone had any suggestions what I should say to her? Right now I知 going to talk to her about going back to doing the things she needs to do to stay sober and to remember where the alcohol took her life and how out of control she was. Also of course I知 going to tell her that she needs to forgive herself and start over. Any other thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by txfan77 
Any other thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.
Spiritual Detachment is recognizing the fact that I only play a small part in the grand scheme of things. Caring enough to do my part (only my part). Trusting some Higher Power to furnish the results. Then detaching from the outcome.
Success or failure is not mine to pocket.
Woe is Moo.
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
As someone who relapse LOT of time, I would say one message that get through to me is that was not the relapse, but the RIGHT NOW that is the big important moment. Is what you gonna do NOW. Many time I use relapse as free pass to go on long time bender, cuz I figure will still only count as one relapse. Or, I think, okay, well, I already blow it, so might as well throw down couple more time, before I get straight again. Or, since I has to start all over, I do it next week, or next month, or next year.
Truth was, at time after relapse, I could actual become stronger, or weaker. Was my choice.
Truth was, at time after relapse, I could actual become stronger, or weaker. Was my choice.
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by txfan77
After three years sober, my sponsee relapsed and went on a week long bender. She has now been sober 48 hours. I am going to meet her tonight and just wondered if anyone had any suggestions what I should say to her? Right now I知 going to talk to her about going back to doing the things she needs to do to stay sober and to remember where the alcohol took her life and how out of control she was. Also of course I知 going to tell her that she needs to forgive herself and start over. Any other thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good on ya for not jumping ship on yer sponsee.
what to say.welp, you could ask a few questions:
do you want what we have?
are you willing to go to any lengths?
conveying self forgiveness is good, but not sure about tellin her she needs to do it.
remind her shes not a bad person, just a sick one and there is a solution IF shes willing to work it.
what to say.welp, you could ask a few questions:
do you want what we have?
are you willing to go to any lengths?
conveying self forgiveness is good, but not sure about tellin her she needs to do it.
remind her shes not a bad person, just a sick one and there is a solution IF shes willing to work it.
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