killerinstinct

my question is ... how do you all cope with grief, has anyone come out the other end whole and healed or does it just follow you for the rest of your life? And also is it normal to feel like your healing you grief, doing well to then for flat on your face again and realise you're still struggling with it years later?

Dee74

I think grief after a break up is a different kind of grief when someone's died.

I think in the case of a relationship the healing starts when you decide to move on.

I used to think I'd never find love, then I thought I'd never love again.

I found some loves, as much as we want them to be, are not forever.

I've been lucky to have 3 long term relationships in my life. Each of them was a slightly different kind of love - not better or worse, just different.

The sooner you decide to move on, the sooner you can start healing and perhaps open your heart again, killerinstinct.

D

Mountainmanbob

I know what happens when grieve is not dealt with properly
there are many good books on the subject (visit any book store)
plus -- much information on the internet
MM

Gottalife

In my experience, grief has a mind of its own. It can be incredibly disconcerting for a sober alcoholic, as feelings come in waves and can be very intense. At least that is what I experienced. It was all new to me and I wondered what was happening.

It helped a great deal to talk to a grief counsellor. At the very least I discovered I was behaving normally.

How did I survive grief without even the thought of a drink. In the AA Big Book on page 14, Ebby tells Bill what is required to survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. He was really stating the fact that bad things will happen in life to all of us. How we react as sober alcoholics depends a lot on our spiritual condition. Faith without works is dead said Ebby. I was just quietly working with others. When the bad thing happened, I reacted sanely and normally, without thought of a drink.