silentrun

Nope. Outside this forum no one even cares that I gave it up.

zjw

ya know having read through them countless times I'm not sure that i've missed anything. Or you could say its just an ongoing thing for me.

I'd love to think it was a social time for me at the meeting but its like the polar opposite people are polite and say hello but thats about the extent of my intereaction. I'll speak some and listen and that is that.

To me working the steps is essentially what I did the first 6 months to a year without AA. I read those steps a couple times but nothing meant much to me after about a year I really read those steps and thought yeah this pretty much sums it up and that was that. cause it was basicly a step my step approach laid out for someone but I had already gone through all that on my own basicly.

I think AA will only go so far with my obsessive worrying etc... I know others sound like they have more luck etc.. For some reason with me its not so.

A good example of my worrying for example is I recently aquired another car. It had some repairs that needed to be done. I worried myself sick till i got it to the mechanic and had those repairs done. I also noticed another potential big problem. that is a big problem my mechanic said dont worry about it till it becomes a problem. Said probably in about a year we will have to address it. Sounds simple right? not for me. I'm worried about it i'm trying to push it out of my head but i wont lie part of me is pretty worried and thinking if i get the money to repair it now perhaps I should just be proactive get it done so I dont have to worry. But part of me says the mechanic is right no sense in fixing it if it aint totally broke yet. a number of other terrible things could go wrong that are much more important.

But i'll struggle now to not worry about this.

I gather this is not normal behavior for people for me its a way of life and I"m trying to beat it.

zjw

just to add my with my car i SHOULD be thankful it solved a big problem for me. and I am very thankful and happy i got it. focusing on that makes me feel good. But the worry is still there.

does this make sense? its almost like I do both I'll be positive and happy things are going ok but at the same time i'll worry about the other outstanding issues to the point where i can drown out the positive.

Ursula745

I'm not an alcoholic, but I can tell you that my brother's anniversary is important to me. We celebrated it (one year in Dec). I actually think it's more important to me than him; LOL! I went to his birthday meeting, had cake, hung out afterward. Talked about the last year. But, we hang out a lot anyway.

He picked himself out of the deepest despair, and is living a full life again, with me included in it. No place I'd rather be than front row. My brother is all I have left (parents died young). We all fought hard for this (his family and mine), him the most, but what we have now is priceless, and I want to celebrate with him.

I think it depends on the circumstances. Some people don't understand. Some people are affected by their friend/family member's addiction differently. Some do not want to rock the boat by mentioning it (anxiety), but they do recognize it and care; maybe just don't know how to express it. Maybe she doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable; who knows.

Regardless, the milestone that you've hit is important. I hope you can discuss it with her and let her know it's important to you. You may even find out that it's not that she doesn't care. She may have other feelings she needs to express to you. It's a family disease. I think loved ones feelings are hugely varied. BUT (big but), what matters is that you are sober. No one else's opinion really matters except that you have for yourself and how you want to live your life.

Congratulations on your one year and all the birthdays you'll have!

zjw

Ursula745 thats awesome your so supportive!! I bet he appreciates it.

sometimes its hard for us to step out of our box and be supportive of something we may not understand but is very important to the other person. Thats one thing I've learned fromt his.

My wife wants some support with some stuff that i REALLY dont get and honestly dont see why i should slap her on the back and say job well done. BUT I know its important to her and it would mean a lot to her if i did etc... same thing.

30yrdrunk

My 1yr will be Dec 16th this year. I can't wait. I ruined the holidays last yr for my wife. Not going to mention it to anyone; but I'll know. My loved ones are supportive of my decision but can't completely relate. How could they? Only other alcoholics truly understand. That's what makes SR so valuable I can hop on here anytime and read some posts and feel comfort from those who truly understand. We've fought all fought the same fight.

At nearly 6 months I am rejoicing in my sobriety. Feeling free breaking away from 30 yrs of stupidity. I have some minor temptations now but they are fleeting. Drinking equals depression and despair. I have joy for the little things in life again; not planning my next binge episode.

Stay strong brothers and sisters,

TC

Ken33xx

My wife does.

Croissant

I wouldn't take it personally. Everyone is different.

To your wife, maybe the anniversary is just one more pain of the past she'd like to forget and take the focus off your drinking?

grtgrandpa

I have been retired for 22 years from a career in failure analysis, so I worry about everything.

I do not suffer in silence, I tell my wife and other people who don't worry which is a waste of time because they don't care.

My wife says, "not on my side of the street" or "you take care of that".

However, she also says we would not be together for 35 years if you had not stopped drinking.

Everybody knows about my recovery from the illness of alcoholism because it killed two of my daughters.

Last Sunday my wife and I went to the 85th birthday party for a Lady I have known for 51 years.

No alcohol was served because I don't drink. I am still overwhelmed by the love I received from all of those normal people who care about my recovery.

BTW, my car is 28 years old because I worry and take steps to keep it running.

zjw

See worrying pays off!!! hahaha. i got a few issues iwth the vehicle i just got and i'm torn if i should put the money in or not. but it runs good and reading something liek that makes me think maybe i should I dunno.

fini

do any non alcoholics care about your anniversary?


no

KeyHeart

My in-laws care more than my husband. We started couples counseling and I learned he doesn't even believe in alcoholism (he's Arab). He congratulated me on the day of my anniversary, but I haven't even invited him to my celebration. I will as the date nears, but I'm afraid he'll say no. His sister, however, is happy for me and she's going to go.

zjw

WOW!! I would imagine in time he'll learn that things like this are very real etc..

zjw

welp the other morning my wife looks at my tattoo and says huh thats right what is it 2 years now or 3? ::facepalm::.. and that was that.

I'm not sure what to make of that. Oh well I'm over it now.

she tells me i can be bad about not giving out compliments I cant help but wonder if this was all done on purpose. Ya know some sort of payback.

I'll admit i'm not the best at giving compliments but when I do give them to her she seems to think I have an alterior motive so my compliments are never really recieved very well so I dont bother giving them out much. I also dont like giving compliments as a formality but rather like to give them only when i really mean it. IE saying happy birthday is one thing but really meaning it is another.