FT

Addiction is Addiction

Is it?

I've heard this "slogan" twice today. I've also seen it come and go on SR periodically, and it came up with me today when trying to have a rational discussion with another addict who was trying to quit drinking by smoking pot occasionally to get her over her "rough days." This is a friend of mine who wants to count her "sober days" from the date she stopped drinking. I'm a frequent user of the term "non-substance-abuser" and I think I offended her. I did not mean to.

For me, I quit alcohol a long time ago and figured I was done with "addiction." That was before I had orthopedic surgery and had to deal with my new demon -- opiates. Until then, I never had to face the fact that just maybe I didn't just have a problem with alcohol, maybe I was actually an addict. And I didn't like that idea at all. Me? Hell, no.

Did my former "alcoholism" set me up for my next problem, opiate addiction? I quit a two year opiate "problem" and thought I had that down, too, until I had yet another series of orthopedic surgeries. That let to another several-month-long "problem" and I had to go through opiate withdrawals all over again.

My friend threw this in my face. Am I an addict? Really?

I once looked at all addiction as "those people". I now realize that addiction comes in many forms, is encountered in many ways, and lingers or is resolved for many reasons.

Is your addiction better or worse than someone else's?

Do you de-value the "addict" on the basis of their addiction? If so, why?

I realize this is a topic with no answer. But I'll have to admit that it blindsided me a little bit on a number of levels when examining my own perceptions.

ScottFromWI

I found that I could not control my drinking and I quit as a result. I feel that comparing my addiction to others, or judging others based on their addiction is pointless and mostly counterproductive. I also found that to truly accept my addiction to alcohol, I had to accept that there is no "why" that can be logically explained - it just IS.

jdooner

I am sure this will cause controversy but this is my own view:

I do not believe the substance or behavior makes the addict. The addict chooses to cope through use of substance or behavior. Any addiction will steal from your life not add to it. The key is determining if something is an addiction (taking) or a hobby (adding or enhancing).

As such, I do not believe an addict or an alcoholic (I consider an alcoholic and addict to alcohol) can use another mind altering substance in a healthy fashion. So for me the answer is an emphatic no on using other drugs. The one exception is with opiates. Dealing with the physical dependence suboxone and other drugs have been found to have a high success rate.

Verte

Hi FT,

Guilty of writing this slogan once or twice. I'm not a professional and have no basis for qualifying that slogan/statement. Suppose I will not write that any longer.

This subject is so interesting to me. Having also used a long acting opioid for orthopedic trauma and surgery - With this particular experience, I never achieved the necessary dose for adequate pain relief without having horrific side effects. But every option in the long-acting pain relief realm was made available to me.

Coincidentally, during this time of my life a close friend was completely enveloped with addiction and dependence issues which destroyed every aspect of her life including her body, mind, marriage, parenting capacity, friendships. She was no longer an athlete, wife, friend...she became an addict. Then another former athlete friend died from a short but intense experience with first orthopedic related trauma/pain management, then lethal addiction. In my eyes it happened fast.

There were never any clues that their lives would go this direction. The collateral damage of starting with dependence then moving towards addiction was absolute and devastating. Had I not experienced this second hand devastation would my life have been enveloped with opioid addiction? Maybe, maybe not? But I did not want to test it out and so voluntarily went under treated for pain (no, not a martyr).

THEN, I will say that I had a re-injury post surgery and was given an opioid that was *absolute* magic, different from my prior experience, same class. With that single re-injury and treatment I understood exactly what all the hoopla was about. It took care of every ounce of pain and then some. Absolute magic. And this scared the bajeezus out of me. Not a single hint of pain! My thoughts went to what I could accomplish with zero pain...seemed endless. I finally realized what I had been missing out on within the pain management realm. And I ran the other way.

Having written all this. I'm here for alcohol. The opioid experience was prior to alcohol coming to my attention. All I know is that I have this 'capacity' just like anyone else struggling. My life has not been enveloped...but I'm certain it could. Do not want to test it out ever again with anything. The lines are invisible so who can ever know what, how, when they are crossed? Insidious and must stay away. This is all I know.

Cannot imagine judging anyone else's experience with any substance but definitely do not feel like I can standby should I get a whiff of the sneaky-sneaky talk that goes on around addiction. I'll call anyone in my life on it for sure. They can be as mad as a pit viper. I'll take it. It is my business too.

To get over my 'rough days' I sure as heck cannot have addiction blinders on and must replace the negative with positive behaviors - like you all already mentioned.

Thanks for this thoughtful exercise FT. This is ONLY my personal experience which is a grain of sand on the beach. Ruffling of any feathers is completely unintentional. I really value others' thoughtful experiences so thought I would share this one.

Verte

FT - apologies for the tome. This forum is really helping to keep me sober right now. Writing has been quite cathartic.

Shining~Again

^^ this sums things up for me when I finally reached a point of going the opiate route.

Then I stopped. Every day now is a struggle to physically do things that need doing. I just keep trying to build up my strength I lost over the winter.

I feel with pills I definitely learned how to take the easy way out....eh no, that's not really true as I injured my back in my early 20's and never took a oxycodone till 2007. Never got where I needed it daily till several years later.
I miss being pain free.
A lot.
/hard to write this
Me being on those pills just gave me a free ticket to really mess my body up without feeling it. I pay every day for that and I pray I won't pay for it always. I won't take them for my pain. Period. I feel good about that at least....

On the questions that FT asked at the end of her post I can only say that I've never personally experienced a friend or family member being addicted to drugs. I've got one close friend who is a alcoholic...she goes to treatment yearly. It's scary times but she also tends to shield me from a lot .... and after all these years (we meant early 2000's via WFS) I still never push at her. Most certainly don't look down on her. Love her dearly.

My addictions vrs others? Nah....I don't do that one these days. While I'd often think in the back of my mind a year ago "how frigging wussy can you get? You can't handle having a 5-7 day detox from oxycodone? Try detoxing from a benzo you've taken for 20 years. I'll tell YOU about PAIN!"
.......yeah, well.....I took my own advice and shut the heck up.
Never compare pain and never compare addictions. Bad news.

Nice post....interested to read others.

Climber122

Why not do some field research? My drug of choice is alcohol but for a project I went to an "open" NA meeting. I admit (how silly is this?) that I was a little nervous about being in a room with coke and heroin addicts, although I've gone to AA for years. Funny how as long as the government monitors and taxes a drug and allows mass advertising of it that we consider the drug ok, whereas if it's illegal it carries a stigma.

I was pleased to find in NA a very welcoming group of people who are dealing with the same problems us alcoholics do. In fact the group seemed even a little warmer than a lot of groups I've been at - a very positive experience. Maybe give it a try once or twice just to see what's doing and you can draw your own conclusions.

pdoc

Dont forget that not all drugs are illegal, one of the biggest issues (here at least) is the abuse of prescription drugs.

FT

As a potential disease entity, I suppose one addiction is similar to any other addiction since it involves the same dopamine receptors in the brain.

But WHAT sets the dominoes falling in one person and not another. And WHY doesn't it happen in the same person with ALL abusable substances?

Addiction MAY be addiction. Or not.

To me, an alcoholic is NOT the same as a heroin user.

A heroin user is NOT the same as a prescription drug abuser.

The alcoholic need only go to the store and buy a legal substance, and chooses to abuse it or not. Sometimes other people are harmed, sometimes not.

The prescription drug abuser begins with a legitimate drug purchase (except when the drug is subverted to the street), and chooses to abuse it or not. Sometimes other people are harmed, sometimes not.

But, a heroin addict has to go to illegal means to get their fix. Sometimes there are other crimes involved. USUALLY other people are harmed -- in the manufacturing, distributing, selling, and using these drugs, multiples of people are harmed along the way.

In ALL of the above, somebody profits. Big time.

ScottFromWI

The world is an unfair place. There will always be those that profit on the misfortune/lack of knowledge/lack of power/etc of others. If you could somehow magically make all alcohol, tobacco and illicit drugs dissapear from the face of the earth forever, that wouldn't change a thing in regard to fairness. Those who take advantage and make the profit would just fine another segment of the society to do it in.

Knowledge is power, but when it comes to addiction we aren't as a point where even the "experts" understand the full scope of why addiction is what it is. Someday they might, in fact I would bet that someday they will.

For the present moment though, i feel it's much more important to arm ourselves as addicts with whatever tools we can to stay sober. That way not only is no one profiting off my addiction, and I am living a much better life. I'm also able to help others do the same.

PhaseTwo

I can only speak from my experience. I define myself as an alcoholic because that's what caused me the most problems, however I had potential to abuse any and every substance out there If I had a steady supply of it. That's why being completely clean and sober of everything is the only way to go for me. I suspect many other addicts are the same way regardless of what substance was their main problem.

FT

I prefer to look at addiction from the perspective of the damage it can cause to a society. Once the individual becomes the sole focus, a lot opportunity is lost for "damage control".

Groups of individuals who are considered "addicts" are at least as highly stigmatized as the individuals themselves. Court-ordered 12 step meetings are as much a punishment as they are therapeutic. People who don't want to self-identify with the group have a lot of trouble with this. "Dignified" people go to Betty Ford, right? Hmmmm.

A whole other thread could be started about the "costs" of addiction.

Verte

FT...along these lines. One of the most terrifying subjects now in the world is that of human trafficking. The idea of being forced to drink a bottle of wine against my will does not scare me, but that of being administered a syringe of heroin...

FT

Thanks for that point of view.

Interestingly, certain addictions are considered more "socially acceptable" than other addictions.

Is the businessman who drinks to oblivion every night and then beats his wife in an alcoholic rage more "upstanding" than the street heroin addict who injects heroin into his veins several times a day?

It is easy to imagine how the businessman started out "innocently" enough with a few drinks at year at events, then perhaps progressed slowly over time to monthly, then weekly, then daily drinking. Which perhaps became an addiction in the most insidious way. He never "intended" to get there.

It is less easy (for me anyway) to imagine the gradual progression of the heroin addict, who risks death every time they buy a street drug of unknown purity.

The businessman risks a long, slow death.

The heroin addict risks it instantly.

They are both addicts. Is the "addiction" of the former any less damaging than the latter? At first glance, it sure seems like it is. Except that it seems that, these days anyway, those two are coming closer to becoming the same person.

Or maybe it's just actors and musicians -- those who seem to have everything -- who we never imagined would shoot heroin -- we suddenly read about dying from a heroin overdose.

jdooner

FT - I appreciate your OP, although I think we might see things differently. Addiction is addiction is addiction. To see it any other way is to rationalize someones addiction. It is why to the distain of some members here I relate to an alcoholic/addict. To say I am an alcoholic but I would never become addicted to heroin is to rationalize. Unless you are an alcoholic that has used heroin and therefore can say it never appealed to me.

How about this scenario. A housewife starts drinking wine to take the edge off after taking care of the kids all day. Over time thought this woman finds she is drinking more wine than she wants too and has progressed to where she needs the wine. One day she gets in a car accident and breaks her leg. She is given Oxycodone. She takes them as prescribed but as the injury heals begins to feel a buzz from the Oxys. She starts taking more Oxys and finds she needs the Oxys but they are becoming more and more difficult to get through scripts. Another woman who she knows also taking Oxys tells her that heroin is much cheaper. She is turned off by the injection concept but needs the fix. She buys a bag and snorts a few lines. Over time she no longer cares and finds herself injecting the heroin.

This is a very common progression although the variables can change. The drug that this woman chose to take to cope with whatever she was coping with (past trauma, bad marriage, hopelessly in debt with no way out) has nothing to do with the addict inside - its just the means to escape mentally to deal with the pain realized or not. I fact, this is one of the reasons the War on Drugs is the greatest failed policy in US History. There is no war. The way to fix addiction is to educate and understand the root causes even those in the medical community don't agree on.

You mention the businessman. I am a businessman. I drank in my teens and never liked the taste but always liked the buzz. I experimented with drugs in my late teens but athletics kelts me from falling into that trap. But I always drank, as this was acceptable. As my career and success grew in my 30s, I was exposed to Ritalin and Aderall, which I liked. Its quite common and easy to crush in two spoons and snort similar to cocaine. This went well with my drinking and in fact I could actually stay up longer, talk more and drink more - perfect. Well that was fine till I found cocaine. A few lines after a few martinis I found to be a great combo until I realized I had become entirely powerless over the drug.

To me I see no difference between the heroin addict, the housewife, the crack addict, the sex addict, the overeater who is heading for a heart attack, the workaholic that never sees his kids. Its all the same to me. By not differentiating, I believe I tear down walls to rationalize ones addictive behavior. Rationalizing leads the alcoholic to consider himself/herself a functioning or high functioning - both terms I find to be an oxymoron, as the alcoholic is always underperforming his/her own potential. I mean ever hear someone accept a high functioning pot smoker or high functioning crack addict? You would be laughed at.

Some may never progress to the depths of another - this is a good thing. But this does not mean if they tried the illicit drug they would not become addicted. Addiction is a mechanism for most to cope or escape. Its the lazy man's way of dealing with life.

Verte

Wow jdooner...your last post sums up the progression to various degrees of pretty much every non-familial relationship I have had over the last decade.

Every word resonates with the exception of your final sentence, "It's the lazy man's way of dealing with life."

My experience has been that it is the 'unexamined person's way of dealing with life'.

If 'push back' from the environment is never received or never hits hard enough then the push back, examination has to come from within. This takes hard-won experience and time. Realization, that is. During this time period of realization, hopefully the consequences of using the DOC are not irreversible or irreparable to the self and those with whom one is connected or in contact.

You're giving me pearls jdooner. FT, the thread, goosebumps. Well done

Gottalife

Alcohol was always my drug of no choice. Other substances are extremely dangerous to me and I have little experience with them, but the little experience I have shows me they always lead me straight back to my drug of no choice.

Addict taking, hobby enhancing or adding? The great delusion of this alcoholic was that booze was adding to and enhancing my life, making it better, not medicating some hidden issue. It gave the illusion of control which is a main reason no one could get me to try more serious drugs, they seemed to me to offer less control.

I had been out of the nut farm for a few weeks, hanging on to a tenuous sobriety and getting more and more miserable. Medication they gave me didn't seem to work, so I didn't take it. A well meaning friend offered me a puff on some weed, in the belief that it would make me feel better but would not result in the usual bad behaviour when I drank.

Here's what happened when I took that mind altering substance. Instantly, the obsession to drink returned. Not in the form of a craving, just the fact that I now felt it was ok to drink. Absolutely insane thinking. One puff of weed and a drink was down my neck in seconds. Straight back to my drug of no choice.

That's where mind altering chemicals take me, based in my experience.