Power In Words...
 

Hi everyone,

"My name is Dave, recovering alcoholic".....

.......This is the way I open at my meetings. I have often been asked, "why do you use the phrase "Recovering Alcoholic" as opposed to just plain "Alcoholic"? Well, here's why....

I have always known the power in words. The things we say, the phrases we use, even the tone of our voice can have an impact on us and those around us.

By using the phrase "recovering alcoholic" I am stating to myself and those around me that I AM in recovery and doing well. I was an alcoholic when I drank. But having nearly 2 years of sobriety I do not drink anymore.

Yes, we (I), will always be an alcoholic. But when we are in long term sobriety and have not drank in a while, that is clearly a part of the "recovery" process. So at that point we are recovering from our addiction. Thus, "I am a recovering alcoholic".

And by saying this, it can boost are confidence, improve our attitude and give us the encouragement to continue for another day. It also let's others know that we are making positive progress in breaking the chains of addiction.

Openers like, "Hi, I'm Dave & I'm still a drunk / druggie just trying to get through this world...." can have a negative impact on not only our outlook and recovery, but on those around us as well.

In one of my groups we have a individual who over the past two years insists on using the same negative phrase I quoted above to introduce himself. Every meeting, every time. That person also has had 3 major relapses in that 2 year period. Myself and the facilitator of the group have talked to him about this, but he refuses to change his outlook. He can become easily angry and refuses to embrace the positive side of his sobriety.

I choose to use positive phrases over negative ones in all aspects of my life. I am having a blast in my sobriety. This past Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years was my second Holiday season sober and I had a blast. We just had our second "Alcohol Free" Memorial Day Family Pic-Nic and we all had a blast. This will be my second sober summer. I had a blast last summer and I intend on having a blast this summer being sober and enjoying the season.

I really believe the success of our recovery has a lot to do with our outlook - even down to the words and phrases we use to describe our success.

If you are in recovery and have any sobriety time at all built up.... then give yourself credit for that. You are recovering and not using or drinking. Give yourself credit for that.

i am glad you enjoy being in recovery thats what its all about

i have a blast helping new comers in and around the meetings and even doing prison meetings etc thats how i show i am grateful

i can understand what your saying when you feel people say negative things or stay negative

my pet hate in aa meetings is when some one introduces themselves and then goes on and on about what they get and says nothing about what they give to others
its like they ignore the 12th step all together and no matter how many times people can point this out to them they still dont try to do any service work in aa at all

its all about them which in my book still means there living in self

service work really helped me start a new way of life that i have a blast with today
i thought winning the lotto or having a girlfriend would be the best thing for me in life but its not anymore
as i just get high on being there to help others been that way for years now so its sticking to me like glue and the more i practice it the more it becomes my life

like you i am recovering and learning all the time

have some major unhappiness in my life at the moment but i am still putting one foot in front of the other and getting to meetings and being there for the newcomer as its simply not about me anymore

Congrats on your 2 years Dave. I would agree that having a positive outlook in what we do and say can go far.

Great job on 2 years!! That's fantastic!! :c011:

Hey, thanks everyone, for the "Positive" feedback (no pun intended). But I may have mislead at one point. I said I have "nearly" two years. I actually have 19 months. Still a little ways to go until I hit 2 years. But... I am having a blast being sober. My health - happiness is back.

19 months is great too, congrats!

ya know thats interesting there was a guy who used the same phrase at one of my meetings and I thought whats this guys problem cant he admit to the fact that he's an alcoholic? what is he above the rest of us? We would all say we are alcholics but he'd say he's a recovering alcoholic with a tone of he's better then the rest of us somehow.

or thats how I took it anyhow. So its interesting your spin on the very same phrase.

I'd admit it would make more sense to say recovering alcoholic tho I dont mind plain alcoholic to me it just keeps it simple.

gotta weigh in on this one.

the language is important for two reasons, in my mind. first, self talk has proven effects on our psyche. negative self talk often precedes negative action, as it frames our mindset. most of those present on this site have probably spent enough time walking around calling themselves losers, etc.

the second reason is huge. how we speak of ourselves to others.

questions: how are addicts viewed in society at large today? can we be recovered? can we contribute to society, once recovered? what kind of message do we want to send?

i would love it if public perception was that the addicted are in need of support. that there is hope. that those recovered are survivors that deserve a chance. those without personal substance abuse problems need to see the face of RECOVERY! everyone knows what a drunk/junkie/tweeker looks like. we don't trust those folks do we?

as for meetings...i get it. but hey, youre in the room right? we KNOW, man! AA helps people. however, it fears any change, in a changing world. Bill spoke before congress (not anonymously) to help destigmatize this affliction, way back when. we need to continue. we need to show that we are worth the same care, and compassion HIV, cancer, and other potentially terminal sufferers get.

Recovering Alcoholic
 

Dave thank you for the topic.

I have been a recovering alcoholic for 28 years, 1 month, and 29 days.

I have been an AA member for all that time where the only requirement for membership is a desire not to drink.

My wife and I watched the movie "The Anonymous People" yesterday. The people in that movie agree with you and so do I.

Today in my AA meeting I said for the first time, "I am a recovering alcoholic", and I plan to continue that in the future. :scoregood

Glad you are here.
 

Congrats on your 19months!!!

Very true and important points you make.

{Hah! grtgrandpa...just saw your post} You might enjoy watching 'The Anonymous People' - a documentary available on Netflix. A few nights ago I was able to watch most of it thanks to FeenixxRising having brought to light on the SR movies and media board.

:grouphug:

Congratulations on your 19 months Dave :)

Congrats to you!!! Good job!!! I've never met a world record sledge hammer swinger ...times two!

Maybe you can post a picture of your arms.........???

WAT, don't judge me. :)

Interesting topic Dave.

Words are indeed powerful, and they are one of the main ways we convey the message of alcoholics anonymous.

We had a chap years ago who introduced himself as an ex-drunk. He found permanent recovery in AA and died sober after more than 20 years. So it didn't do him any harm. He always seemed to me to be fairly miserable in his view of life, so he wasn't someone is spent a lot of time with. Perhaps that's why his introduction never caught on.

However, for me I believe it is important to be consistent with the program as described in the Big Book. I usually introduce myself as an alcoholic, sometimes as a recovered alcoholic, but never as recovering, the exception being the time spent between step one and a spiritual exerience. The latter is simply not true, it does not fit with my experience nor the experience of those who went before.

I know what alcoholism is, the obsession of the mind, the spritual malady, the phenomenon of craving, and I know the crippling effect it had on my life, shutting me off from any kind of meaningful existence. I'm not suffering from that today. I followed the directions, had a spiritual experience and all that was taken away.

I recovered the opportunity to live a full life, the booze could no longer sabotage that.

I often wonder what the newcomer must make of the inconsistency I would create if, at 34 years sober I introduced myself as still recovering. I am saying to him that the first sentence of the foreword of the first edition of the Big book, in which AA introduced itself to the world, is not true. The foreword to the second edition where it says 150000 have recovered must also be untrue.

Then page 90, where I am asked to introduce myself to a newcomer as someone has recovered, should be ignored. They must wonder what other parts of the program are true, and which should be ignored.

To me there is a clear demarcation between recovering and recovered. Recovering is anywhere between steps 1 and 9, where the spiritual experience/awakening takes place. See step 9 promises.

Then at step 10 "We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime." This is not about recovering, this is about growing spiritually for the rest of our lives. Faith without works is dead.

I don't labour the point. I think people are free to inroduce themselves any way they like, within reason. I just don't think I have the right to undermine the program that worked for me and millions of others. Its a personal responsibility.

Ok just put up a pic of one arm........��

CONGRATS on 19 months, Dave!!

THINK POSITIVE- DRAW POSITIVE.

This is a very good point. I always say I am an alcoholic, however, my daughter doesn't like it when I say that she wants me to say I am a recovering alcoholic.

I guess she really does know more than me! Thanks for giving me some food for thought.

And congrats on 2 years.

I really like your post Dave and I agree completely. I've thought about it but I'm afraid I will give the impression I'm saying I'm better than the group or something. The truth is I drank for 14 years I've been sober over 7 months. I am working the steps and every day I feel like I am further away from a drink. I work for sobriety, but I'm not where some long time sober people are. Hence I am recovering. I think of myself that way even if I don't say it at meetings.
,

I can't stand the word alcoholic, for many reasons. One is that there is no clear meaning of the word. Someone who suffers from alcoholism. Ok, what's that? Is it more accurately someone who has a severe alcohol use disorder?
Seriously though, I would be more comfortable at meetings if I didn't feel pressure to introduce myself as an "alcoholic." I know I'm not compelled to, no one has ever forced me to say anything. There are no rules or requirements. I have conceded to my innermost self what my problem is. I would like to say I am recovered, but the reaction is palpable. Does he think he's special? Does he think he's cured or something? Just speaking from my own experience.

words
 

"Everything said, has been said, and there is nothing new under the sun"----King Solomon via the sacred writings".

Keep it simple: My name is whatever, and I have a desire not to drink.

:ring

I have been reading a lot about the subconscious. The subconscious is very literal. It doesn't acknowledge the word NOT, so a better statement would be I have a desire to stay sober.

“Positive. The subconscious does not recognize what isn’t there or what doesn’t exist, so effective affirmations are phrased in the positive. This means that you should leave out the word not from your affirmations, as well as any contraction that contains not, such as don’t, won’t, and can’t. For example, if you’re trying to stop smoking and want to write an action affirmation for yourself, your instinct might be to write, “I am not a smoker.” But the subconscious has no idea what not is, and ignores it. This turns your affirmation into “I am a smoker,” which is exactly the opposite of what you want to reinforce! An effective affirmation you could use instead is, “I am smoke-free.” If you need extra reinforcement, you can write other action affirmations and include reasons you are smoke-free. For example, you could write, “Be “cause I am healthy, I am smoke-free.”