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Power In Words...

Old 06-04-2014, 09:51 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Each of us are at different stages in our sobriety. The way in which another person describes him- or her- self at any particular stage of recovery is none of my business. Each of us has the right to identify ourselves as we see fit.
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Old 06-04-2014, 09:59 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I totally agree.

I also think the word "alcoholic" is often a barrier to getting help--at least for high bottom people. I think for a lot of people, it conjures a very specific portrait of alcohol abuse (daytime drinking, out of control behavior, low socio-economic status). Personally, I'm comfortable calling myself an alcoholic here (though I agree it lacks any specific meaning.). But I'd love to see some new language that's both positive and less loaded down by negative stereotypes.
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Old 06-04-2014, 11:55 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
Interesting topic Dave.

Words are indeed powerful, and they are one of the main ways we convey the message of alcoholics anonymous.

We had a chap years ago who introduced himself as an ex-drunk. He found permanent recovery in AA and died sober after more than 20 years. So it didn't do him any harm. He always seemed to me to be fairly miserable in his view of life, so he wasn't someone is spent a lot of time with. Perhaps that's why his introduction never caught on.

However, for me I believe it is important to be consistent with the program as described in the Big Book. I usually introduce myself as an alcoholic, sometimes as a recovered alcoholic, but never as recovering, the exception being the time spent between step one and a spiritual exerience. The latter is simply not true, it does not fit with my experience nor the experience of those who went before.

I know what alcoholism is, the obsession of the mind, the spritual malady, the phenomenon of craving, and I know the crippling effect it had on my life, shutting me off from any kind of meaningful existence. I'm not suffering from that today. I followed the directions, had a spiritual experience and all that was taken away.

I recovered the opportunity to live a full life, the booze could no longer sabotage that.

I often wonder what the newcomer must make of the inconsistency I would create if, at 34 years sober I introduced myself as still recovering. I am saying to him that the first sentence of the foreword of the first edition of the Big book, in which AA introduced itself to the world, is not true. The foreword to the second edition where it says 150000 have recovered must also be untrue.

Then page 90, where I am asked to introduce myself to a newcomer as someone has recovered, should be ignored. They must wonder what other parts of the program are true, and which should be ignored.

To me there is a clear demarcation between recovering and recovered. Recovering is anywhere between steps 1 and 9, where the spiritual experience/awakening takes place. See step 9 promises.

Then at step 10 "We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime." This is not about recovering, this is about growing spiritually for the rest of our lives. Faith without works is dead.

I don't labour the point. I think people are free to inroduce themselves any way they like, within reason. I just don't think I have the right to undermine the program that worked for me and millions of others. Its a personal responsibility.
i wouldnt worry to much about saying your recoveing at 34 years sober we have a memeber of 50 years who says he is just an alcoholic and still recovering in fact we have 10 or more members in my small town who are 35 to 50 years sober and there all still recovering

there wisdom is based on the fact they have seen to many people come and go in aa and back on the drink etc and the ones who do come back after drinking again never say they had a good time or anything got better for them infact it was always worse

so there smart enough to understand the illness of alcoholism they are not recovered simply because they know its just for today there sober as it might be there turn tomorrow for something bad to happen in there life or anything really and bingo they pick up that first drink again and off it goes

i have known many people in aa who used to say there recovered and they went back out on the drink again and they will not come back to aa because of there hurt pride as they would have to face people again who they were telling them that there recovered
so its a dangerous thing in my head as the pride must keep a lot of people away who drank again
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Old 06-05-2014, 09:19 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Hi, I'm Dave, recovering alcoholic. I hope everyone enjoyed my post.

I for one am having a blast in my recovery. Training again, competing again, riding motorcycles again.

Yes, I'm a recovering alcoholic who is have a blast in sobriety.

Think positive, be happy, have a good time everyday and stay sober.
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Old 06-06-2014, 12:59 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I loved your post

Originally Posted by desypete View Post
i wouldnt worry to much about saying your recovering at 34 years sober we have a member of 50 years who says he is just an alcoholic and still recovering in fact we have 10 or more members in my small town who are 35 to 50 years sober and there all still recovering

there wisdom is based on the fact they have seen too many people come and go in aa and back on the drink etc and the ones who do come back after drinking again never say they had a good time or anything got better for them infact it was always worse

so there smart enough to understand the illness of alcoholism they are not recovered simply because they know its just for today they are sober as it might be there turn tomorrow for something bad to happen in there life or anything really and bingo they pick up that first drink again and off it goes

i have known many people in AA who used to say they are recovered and they went back out on the drink again and they will not come back to AA because of there hurt pride as they would have to face people again who they were telling them that there recovered
so its a dangerous thing in my head as the pride must keep a lot of people away who drank again
I have known many people in AA who have said those alcoholics are not like me and they went back out and the illness killed them.

I have been living sober for 28 years and 2 months today and I am 82.

The oldest in my group is 92 and he has 56 years. He has a photo of himself hugging Bill Wilson.

Our illness killed two of my daughters and they were just like me. My love for them is a major gift.

I am a veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps who saw Lou Puller, Jr. in AA meetings. He lost his legs and most of his fingers in Nam. HE weighed 50 lbs in the hospital bed. His father, winner of 5 navy crosses wept when he saw his son. Lou Jr. came home, got a law degree, got sober. Then his illness killed him with suicide.

Our illness wants us dead. I got drunk, we stay sober.
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Old 06-06-2014, 05:11 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Language, words, phrases all have an impact on how we view ourselves and the perception others have. I like the approach (although a little long) of faces & voices of recovery, highlighted in their movie/documentary ‘The Anonymous People’

‘Im Peter I’m a person in long term recovery and for me that means I haven’t used drugs or alcohol since I was XX’
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Old 06-06-2014, 05:34 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Cool

Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
Interesting topic Dave.

Words are indeed powerful, and they are one of the main ways we convey the message of alcoholics anonymous.

We had a chap years ago who introduced himself as an ex-drunk. He found permanent recovery in AA and died sober after more than 20 years. So it didn't do him any harm. He always seemed to me to be fairly miserable in his view of life, so he wasn't someone is spent a lot of time with. Perhaps that's why his introduction never caught on.

However, for me I believe it is important to be consistent with the program as described in the Big Book. I usually introduce myself as an alcoholic, sometimes as a recovered alcoholic, but never as recovering, the exception being the time spent between step one and a spiritual exerience. The latter is simply not true, it does not fit with my experience nor the experience of those who went before.

I know what alcoholism is, the obsession of the mind, the spritual malady, the phenomenon of craving, and I know the crippling effect it had on my life, shutting me off from any kind of meaningful existence. I'm not suffering from that today. I followed the directions, had a spiritual experience and all that was taken away.

I recovered the opportunity to live a full life, the booze could no longer sabotage that.

I often wonder what the newcomer must make of the inconsistency I would create if, at 34 years sober I introduced myself as still recovering. I am saying to him that the first sentence of the foreword of the first edition of the Big book, in which AA introduced itself to the world, is not true. The foreword to the second edition where it says 150000 have recovered must also be untrue.

Then page 90, where I am asked to introduce myself to a newcomer as someone has recovered, should be ignored. They must wonder what other parts of the program are true, and which should be ignored.

To me there is a clear demarcation between recovering and recovered. Recovering is anywhere between steps 1 and 9, where the spiritual experience/awakening takes place. See step 9 promises.

Then at step 10 "We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime." This is not about recovering, this is about growing spiritually for the rest of our lives. Faith without works is dead.

I don't labour the point. I think people are free to inroduce themselves any way they like, within reason. I just don't think I have the right to undermine the program that worked for me and millions of others. Its a personal responsibility.
I'm with you bubba; words are very important and powerful, and for me it's important to be succinct and specific. When I walked through the doors of AA, had I been told I'd be 'recovering' for the rest of my life, well I'd have been so fast back out that door it wouldn't have had a chance to hit me on the backside......most of my friends in recovery are recovered and introduce themselves as such.

(o:
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Old 06-06-2014, 05:56 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I got drunk we stay sober

Originally Posted by pdoc View Post
Language, words, phrases all have an impact on how we view ourselves and the perception others have. I like the approach (although a little long) of faces & voices of recovery, highlighted in their movie/documentary ‘The Anonymous People’

‘Im Peter I’m a person in long term recovery and for me that means I haven’t used drugs or alcohol since I was XX’
Dick Van Dyke was in that movie, and he is 40 years sober at age 88.

I gave the movie 5 stars. Different strokes for different folks. You listened and learned, and that is what I did. Glad you liked the movie.
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