3 years today!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
3 years today!
Today I got 3 years. Who woulda thought a wretch like me would be worth saven!. I'm still here for some stinken reason dunno what yet lol.
To think just over 3 years ago I'd wake up in the morning ready to die wishing i just would. I'd think good god kill me now. the panic attacks would start to kick in the anxiety was terrible. All i could think about was doing role call in the fridge to make sure there was enough to knock me down that evening. I weighed about 275lbs I had trouble getting upt he stairs I had aches and pains only a 90 year old man should have. I was hungover day in and day out. All i could ever think about was getting more beer and smokes and how dang miserable my life was.
day by day i struggled to repair the absolute mess i had made of myself. I ruined myself phsysically mentally etc..
Somehow or another I was yanked from that pit and now I'm 150lbs I run 60 miles a week. I feel great I dont get headaches or aches and pains. I dont wake up hung over. I dont think about how many beers i got left or do i need smokes. I dont waste money on all of that.
Life is not a bed of roses either however. I still hate my job. I'm still broke. But my quality of life is way better. I only have a couple big problems now IE my job really is the only one ::knock on wood::. I was able to solve my massive debts and clean up my messes.
I'm getting better about being more positive. I can still wine insently about my problems but i odnt turn to the bottle and I'm getting better at seeing the positive side of the coin and trying to focus on that so that my brain doesnt head into the pit of despair and depression again.
My anxiety is more manageable and the panic attacks rarely ever come anymore.
Its good to be sober!
To think just over 3 years ago I'd wake up in the morning ready to die wishing i just would. I'd think good god kill me now. the panic attacks would start to kick in the anxiety was terrible. All i could think about was doing role call in the fridge to make sure there was enough to knock me down that evening. I weighed about 275lbs I had trouble getting upt he stairs I had aches and pains only a 90 year old man should have. I was hungover day in and day out. All i could ever think about was getting more beer and smokes and how dang miserable my life was.
day by day i struggled to repair the absolute mess i had made of myself. I ruined myself phsysically mentally etc..
Somehow or another I was yanked from that pit and now I'm 150lbs I run 60 miles a week. I feel great I dont get headaches or aches and pains. I dont wake up hung over. I dont think about how many beers i got left or do i need smokes. I dont waste money on all of that.
Life is not a bed of roses either however. I still hate my job. I'm still broke. But my quality of life is way better. I only have a couple big problems now IE my job really is the only one ::knock on wood::. I was able to solve my massive debts and clean up my messes.
I'm getting better about being more positive. I can still wine insently about my problems but i odnt turn to the bottle and I'm getting better at seeing the positive side of the coin and trying to focus on that so that my brain doesnt head into the pit of despair and depression again.
My anxiety is more manageable and the panic attacks rarely ever come anymore.
Its good to be sober!
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by zjw 
Today I got 3 years. Who woulda thought a wretch like me would be worth saven!. I'm still here for some stinken reason dunno what yet lol.
To think just over 3 years ago I'd wake up in the morning ready to die wishing i just would. I'd think good god kill me now. the panic attacks would start to kick in the anxiety was terrible. All i could think about was doing role call in the fridge to make sure there was enough to knock me down that evening. I weighed about 275lbs I had trouble getting upt he stairs I had aches and pains only a 90 year old man should have. I was hungover day in and day out. All i could ever think about was getting more beer and smokes and how dang miserable my life was.
day by day i struggled to repair the absolute mess i had made of myself. I ruined myself phsysically mentally etc..
Somehow or another I was yanked from that pit and now I'm 150lbs I run 60 miles a week. I feel great I dont get headaches or aches and pains. I dont wake up hung over. I dont think about how many beers i got left or do i need smokes. I dont waste money on all of that.
Life is not a bed of roses either however. I still hate my job. I'm still broke. But my quality of life is way better. I only have a couple big problems now IE my job really is the only one ::knock on wood::. I was able to solve my massive debts and clean up my messes.
I'm getting better about being more positive. I can still wine insently about my problems but i odnt turn to the bottle and I'm getting better at seeing the positive side of the coin and trying to focus on that so that my brain doesnt head into the pit of despair and depression again.
My anxiety is more manageable and the panic attacks rarely ever come anymore.
Its good to be sober!
To think just over 3 years ago I'd wake up in the morning ready to die wishing i just would. I'd think good god kill me now. the panic attacks would start to kick in the anxiety was terrible. All i could think about was doing role call in the fridge to make sure there was enough to knock me down that evening. I weighed about 275lbs I had trouble getting upt he stairs I had aches and pains only a 90 year old man should have. I was hungover day in and day out. All i could ever think about was getting more beer and smokes and how dang miserable my life was.
day by day i struggled to repair the absolute mess i had made of myself. I ruined myself phsysically mentally etc..
Somehow or another I was yanked from that pit and now I'm 150lbs I run 60 miles a week. I feel great I dont get headaches or aches and pains. I dont wake up hung over. I dont think about how many beers i got left or do i need smokes. I dont waste money on all of that.
Life is not a bed of roses either however. I still hate my job. I'm still broke. But my quality of life is way better. I only have a couple big problems now IE my job really is the only one ::knock on wood::. I was able to solve my massive debts and clean up my messes.
I'm getting better about being more positive. I can still wine insently about my problems but i odnt turn to the bottle and I'm getting better at seeing the positive side of the coin and trying to focus on that so that my brain doesnt head into the pit of despair and depression again.
My anxiety is more manageable and the panic attacks rarely ever come anymore.
Its good to be sober!
An inspirational story for anyone new to this forum, that no matter how bad the current outlook is, we can always change for the better.
Well done and thank you for sharing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 442
Originally Posted by zjw
Today I got 3 years..... Its good to be sober!
(sorry, felt like going overboard with the emoticons..)
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
AWESOME!!
I can relate to so much of what you said...the wanting to die every day, being physically and emotionally ruined.
I can also relate to the now. I too am healthy and strong. I run. I feel great, even though life still brings tough times.
Ending my addiction has given me this sense of freedom and excitement about life that is hard to explain to someone who has not lived in addiction. Still over 7 years later I still have these strong positive emotions.
What's so cool too, is that I can say all that and I know that there are people here who get exactly what I'm saying.
Congrats!! So glad you took your life back!
I can relate to so much of what you said...the wanting to die every day, being physically and emotionally ruined.
I can also relate to the now. I too am healthy and strong. I run. I feel great, even though life still brings tough times.
Ending my addiction has given me this sense of freedom and excitement about life that is hard to explain to someone who has not lived in addiction. Still over 7 years later I still have these strong positive emotions.
What's so cool too, is that I can say all that and I know that there are people here who get exactly what I'm saying.
Congrats!! So glad you took your life back!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: far away
Posts: 392
Hey great post man. Inspirational. I M glad I came on here today just to read that has lifted me. I can get dwn but you gotta be grateful for the sober life. It's a million times better than the utter misery of addiction.
Peace
Peace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Hey great post man. Inspirational. I M glad I came on here today just to read that has lifted me. I can get dwn but you gotta be grateful for the sober life. It's a million times better than the utter misery of addiction.
Peace
Peace
no i wake up way before the alarm i get up i start my day its no big deal.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Well done zjw! I'm happy for you. BTW, if you hate your job, are there actions you can take now in order to obtain a better job in the future-- one that 1) you may like a little more and 2) pays better?
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