wallup

Hi All,

Anyone else out there OCD with sobriety dates? Sometimes I feel I'm more OCD than alcoholic, but I know I'm both. Short story is I'm a blackout drinker. I quit for nearly a year on 6/1/2012. Just a month shy of one year sober I went to vegas for a friends wedding... alcohol wasn't even on my mind. Didn't even think twice that alcohol would be a temptation for me. I've been to other party's and weddings with others who are drinking and never had a problem. Turns out vegas has a way with making you uncomfortable in certain situations... I escaped it by drinking... couldn't really believe it the next morning.

I didn't drink again for another two months, so I figured I was in control. Yep I defeated it... mind over matter. Drank here and there. Then bam, what seems like flash, I sit here today on 6/1/2014 and realize I've been drunk nearly every day for the last year. I think about the yin-yang of one year sober and one year drunk. Nothing good came of latter whilst the year sober was incredibly real & productive. Amazes me it's even possible to struggle with alcohol, which to me, shows how powerful the addiction is.

Getting back to my OCD part, I've always picked odd days to try and quit drinking again. 3 Months before my birthday, so I could have 90 on the day. Jan 1st, holiday's, 4/14/14 because of the 4's. Now I'm back on 6/1... the day two years ago it all started.

Anyway, today's my first day... I can't keep drinking, I'm killing myself. Hopefully I can keep it together this time. Hopefully this post may also help someone who finds themselves in a similar situation. I know I've found these boards incredibly helpful, so thanks for being there. Take care

Stoogy

You have proven to yourself you can successfully abstain from drinking, trigger points will always show up from time to time and I think you have learned from the last episode and will be a stronger person from the experience you had.

Wishing you well buddy.

PurpleKnight

I can't really relate to the OCD side of things, others might be able to give their input on it, the most important thing though is you're committing to Sobriety again today.

You can do this!!

Nevertheless

What is OCD?

PurpleKnight

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - NHS Choices

bookmaven

I am diagnosed with OCD and major depressive disorder and addiction. My OCD symptoms are real, and if I stop my medication or mess it up by drinking my symptoms come back.

Mental illness is not a joke.

Have you been diagnosed with OCD by a medical professional?

Dee74

Hi wallup - welcome back

Do you have plans to do anything different this time, anything new?

D

wallup

Hi Bookmaven, no I haven't. I just never thought about asking a doctor for help, didn't think there was anything they could do. My biggest problem is washing hands, checking switches/locks, silencing my phone 50 times in the movie theater. stupid stuff that I know I did but not convinced I did.

Thanks Dee. It's a great question. Last time I did it with the help of this board, and that was my plan for this time. I think the last time worked well, obviously I made a bad choice 11 months into it. Maybe I should look at something different. Day 1 is over, Day 2 is nice with no hangover so far.

Easilypleased

What was it in Vegas that made you drink? Or is that personal? The reason I ask is if situations like these can be avoided in the future then all the better, at least early on in sobriety.

bookmaven

Wallup, perhaps I

bookmaven

Wallup, perhaps I took your question too literally? Anyway, OCD is a mental illness that can be treated. For example, I take meds and work with a therapist doing CBT. Before I was diagnosed things were so bad I lost my job. I was constantly checking and rechecking things and lots of other stuff. It was crippling.

paloverde

Wow your story sounds a lot like mine. I quit last year for four months and the last 2 months I didn't give drinking a second thought. I even hung out with people who were drinking and had zero interest. One day a family emotional crisis happened and boom, I didn't just dabble I got drunk every day for 9 months. After that first drunk I didn't wake up and consider it a mistake and get clean again, I just kept going. After 9 months of fights with family, stupid financial and career decisions, horrible hangovers and withdrawals, daily struggles with trying to control how much and what time to start drinking, I finally quit again 28 days ago.

That 28 days have been like night and day. Things are going so much better and I can think again! I know for me I let my guard down last time thinking it was a done deal but it kicked me in the rear hard. This time I'm going to remember that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and CANNOT have a drink.

Congratulations you will not regret your decision to quit! Good luck!

gaffo

My quit date is 11-1-11 but I swear it wasn't on purpose.

At least now you know that there is never a good time for people like us to have a drink. Good luck with sobriety. You deserve it.