Nuudawn

I'm sorry you're struggling to hang onto sobriety these first few days. I'm coming back from a relapse after almost 5 months sobriety. And I've had a few false starts in the past two weeks. You just gotta keep at it...

Perhaps you are still in somewhat of a contemplation stage with your desire to quit? You want to but have not yet found the clarity and commitment. I'm hopeful that my day of actual serious resolve came yesterday.

Did you speak at your meeting...introduce yourself? Perhaps you are not thoroughly convinced that abstinence is your good answer?

freedragonfly

At the meeting I talked to some people during the breaks and also before the meeting. I am too shy and scared to actually talk to the entire group during the meeting. My head is swimming. I am not sure where I'm at with this really. I know I want to stop drinking. a big reason is for my health. But sometimes I don't care about my health and feel self destructive. I think I need therapy because I have mental health issues.

Tang

Yes movies glorifying drinking trigger me. Actually cooking shows and travel shows touting sophisticated European dining always include booze. I get into the whole 'my ancestors drank why can't I?'

freedragonfly

I relate to that. Though I can often find just so many excuses for why I should have a drink.