robgt350

that is a choice from a choice.

if you do not make the choice stop drinking and get in trouble, then some one might make that choice for you to stop drinking such as incarceration.

so it is a choice. i believe you can make that choice. you can make it when you had enough, or worse case, you can make it too when you are making a long prison term or dying in the hospital of liver failure.

so i believe it is a choice. you can make it when you have your health and freedom or,,, your loss of health, life or freedom will make it for you.

gardendiva

It is simple. Simple, not easy.

gardendiva

Sobriety is an inside job. I love that.

jdooner

Actually, we can change our neurological pathways such that our conscious is unable to act as a defense mechanism against a drink, crack, heroin, a murder for a serial killer, etc. Jessie is correct for some it no longer becomes a conscious choice.

ScottFromWI

I distinctly remember the last day of my drinking and the day after that I chose to quit for good. It was one of the best choices I ever made. Whether or not other individuals believe I made a choice vs it being fate/destiny/a higher power is irrelevant to me - i simply don't care.

Aellyce

So the way I edited your comment, LTV, the beginning of this quote is how and why (well, there were many "why's") I turned my whole life and work interest upside down once about 6 years ago. Before that, my life ran on a relatively linear and simple route, I had firm plans, short term and long therm... arrangements and all, everything neatly lined up for me.

Then came the "chaos" that you are describing. The chaos of mind blowing and life altering emotions... and yes, addiction. Then more addiction.

Like you are describing, I'd also found beauty in all this, even in the "hell" of my own personal turmoil and multi-dimensional chaos.

Then decided I was so fascinated by all this that I changed ~everything in my life to be able to explore it further, hoping to also grow from all this. That went on for a few more years but unfortunately not as smoothly as I had imagined. Why? Addiction took over more, and this time beyond my control.

So these days I'm trying to turn it all over yet again, but now one major difference is that I'm no longer expecting to have full control of all this. Instead, try to observe and experience the "chaos" more closely. And in fact, I'm finding that, like in "chaos theory", it's not truly random and without guiding principles. Just MUCH more complex than I had originally thought.

And honestly, much more beautiful, too

tim68

I'm into my 3rd week of sobriety right now. The longest I have been sober since the mid 90's so in part i'm darn proud of myself. I've been doing ok, even through the Memorial Day weekend. But yesterday and today I have been in a foul mood. It's the whole "can't have" that's just making me furious. Yesterday evening I was so close to going to the liquor store for some rum. If it weren't for being so busy in the garage working on a project that left me hot, tired and sweaty then I probably would have gone. But who really knows. I think I was in the mood of cutting off your nose to spite your face type of a moment. I guess I'm in a mad pity phase right now and it's because I know in my heart that my addiction has surpassed the threshold of being able to have a few rum and Cokes, get a relaxing buzz and call it a night. Man, I miss that relaxing buzz and no hangovers but I know those days are just long gone. Thanks to the slow progression of the disease year after year (so sneaky alcohol is) that three weeks ago it would have been 8,9,10 rum and cokes which would have lead to staying up too late and feeling like total hell all day at work. And I also hate the fact if I were to pick drinking back up again, here come the weird unpredictable panic attacks, high blood pressure, hot itchy skin etc. So yes...sobriety is a choice, and for me an absolute must, especially with all the horrible side effects I mentioned that come from the increased volume I was consuming. I'm just so darn mad right now. I'm mad that I started out drinking like a normal person for years without side effects. Now I get all these ill side effects from alcohol and it's not fair! I feel like a kid whose favorite toy was taken away. I sure hope this passes.

Can anyone relate?

Aellyce

Tim, I do... 4 months in... I still have some insane alcohol cravings. And other cravings... They drive me nuts at times. To be honest with you, at this point I don't really feel I could control these impulses simply by distraction, checking into SR, talking about them. I was able to do these things several years ago. Now I need more, I believe because I let my addiction progress further.

So what works for me best now is physical distractions. If you feel a craving coming up, go out take a walk, or a run, or hit the gym, or eat a good healthy meal (I don't like the sweets idea), have a nice meaningful convo with a friend, relative, or college.

I also feel angry at times, mostly angry at myself, why did I let this progress so far?!

But it is what it is. So work with what we have.

3 weeks is pretty young, maybe try some of these physical distractions if the mental ones don't work, be consistent, and it may get better with time, then you can explore other methods?

Aellyce

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cV0IFjsnOmw

silentrun

This is my 1st time out with the booze and I agree with the choice statement. I am into yet another quit smoking (time 50ish) and I have to say yeah that's a choice as well. It really does drive me nutz though when I am struggling and somebody throws down that choice statement.

desypete

i think your missing the point about if a person is a alcoholic or just a problem with drink
i have known people who have been in trouble with drink and just gave it up without any sort of help
there not alcoholic
as an example
it would work easy for me giving up drinking diet coke i could give that up with ease and no mental torture at all over that my self will would be all i needed
but not so for an alcoholic drink, i had tried all manners of help to give up even ended up in prison but still drank when i got out even thought i swore i would never drink again over and over
but if it was soft drinks i was giving up, well i wouldn't be in prison for a start as it doesn't affect me like alcohol does

Tamerua

how did you recognize it? I have the book for another issue and I'm having trouble grasping it.

biminiblue

I'm still saying it is a choice. Not an easy one, but it is a choice. It's not an argument or a revelation.

Have a nice day.

yeahgr8

Not exactly a revelation.

I did try to do this exact thing for over 20 years, it obviously wasn't that black and white of a choice for me hence why i needed help to get sober. Glad it is that simple to get sober for some:-)

Oldselfagain

Clearly you've missed the point that most on this thread have made. I don't think anyone said it was easy or simple, but without making the CHOICE to get sober one never will.

Raider

Great post. I don't absolutely know choice vs. no choice. I just want to make it through today

EndGameNYC

It does not make sense to me to compare active alcoholism to wanton violence, even murder. Though some of us do stupid, regrettable and dangerous things, even things that are illegal or criminal while we're drinking, the affliction of alcoholism isn't a premeditated behavior; nor is it a crime.

Grungehead

I agree that sobriety is a choice. Unfortunately as an alcoholic I have always made really bad choices. When it came down to me and my AV having a debate every day he often won and I found myself drinking against my own will. I look at it more like me making the choice to drink but under duress. I personally had to find a way to remove the AV permanently, and the 12 steps have done that for me and ended the debate.

EndGameNYC

The more sober I become, the more growth I experience, the more I allow myself to express my better, more authentic self, the less energy is available to my alcoholic thinking and behavior. The only alcoholic voice I have -- if I have one at all -- is not foreign or external to my self or to my inner life; it's my very own.

I'm not interested in defeating, running away from or banishing parts of myself, the very internal maneuvers that got me in trouble in the first place. So I place my care and my energy in the parts of my life and the parts of my self that will most benefit from my nourishing them and cultivating them. The alcoholic attitudes, behaviors and thinking become both unnecessary and irrelevant. Build a good life, and you'll never need to drink again, and probably won't want to.

There is no way in heaven or on Earth that I could have accomplished all that on my own.

gardendiva

I was responding to the idea that we lose our power of choice when faced with strong desires:

That's true, but the choice to consume alcohol is.