Back for good
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 341
Back for good
I need to get sober for good. I've been trying, or half trying, for a decade.
This past weekend has proven beyond any doubt that I cannot drink safely, or with dignity for that matter. The shame I feel right now is almost intolerable, but it just might be what I need to do this I guess.
I'm ready to do what it takes. Any advice on what I need to do to stay stopped this time? I've been to a regular family doctor so many times, but they really have no clue how to treat an alcoholic. I'm considering AA and have already talked to my husband about it, unfortunately I'd be going by myself because he works crazy hours. I'd be a wreck going alone but I'm desperate.
My husband is a 'normie' and cannot understand why I just don't stop. I am dealing with severe depression also so just getting motivated to do something to help myself is a struggle.
I have to do it this time, I'm killing myself slowly.
This past weekend has proven beyond any doubt that I cannot drink safely, or with dignity for that matter. The shame I feel right now is almost intolerable, but it just might be what I need to do this I guess.
I'm ready to do what it takes. Any advice on what I need to do to stay stopped this time? I've been to a regular family doctor so many times, but they really have no clue how to treat an alcoholic. I'm considering AA and have already talked to my husband about it, unfortunately I'd be going by myself because he works crazy hours. I'd be a wreck going alone but I'm desperate.
My husband is a 'normie' and cannot understand why I just don't stop. I am dealing with severe depression also so just getting motivated to do something to help myself is a struggle.
I have to do it this time, I'm killing myself slowly.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Apache Junction, AZ
Posts: 111
I would give an AA meeting a try. Just listen to what people have to say, you might be surprised at how much in common you have with other alcoholics. I've met some people there who genuinely care about helping others because they are in the same boat and they know how scary alcoholism can get.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 112
Sounds like you're already almost through AA's first step:
"Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and our lives had become unmanageable"
I'm not going to say "you can do it".
I couldn't do it on my own. Admitted myself into rehab to "learn" how to drink like a normal person. It took 2 weeks for me to admit I'm an alcoholic.
Please get help, Jessie. It's there for the asking.
Hugs
"Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and our lives had become unmanageable"
I'm not going to say "you can do it".
I couldn't do it on my own. Admitted myself into rehab to "learn" how to drink like a normal person. It took 2 weeks for me to admit I'm an alcoholic.
Please get help, Jessie. It's there for the asking.
Hugs
lucky
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Thailand
Posts: 22
It was guilt and shame that made me say 'enough' again and again. What stopped me was a health problem that I have yet to get checked out (scared).
One day at a time.
I never thought I would be able to stop. As you can see by my first join date I have tried and tried but until i finally made the decision enough was enough i just crept back to the booze.
One day at a time. i am at day 21! You can do it, and it is easier with support. i find even reading the forums and just lurking to be enough sometimes.
Godspeed! you are worth it!
One day at a time.
I never thought I would be able to stop. As you can see by my first join date I have tried and tried but until i finally made the decision enough was enough i just crept back to the booze.
One day at a time. i am at day 21! You can do it, and it is easier with support. i find even reading the forums and just lurking to be enough sometimes.
Godspeed! you are worth it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
You will get tired of your own bull eventually. Drinking isn't fun anymore is it? Come to terms with it and be honest with yourself. In fact consider yourself lucky. You now know what to do to be happier healthier person. You can do it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 341
It's been a long time since drinking was actually fun. I would drink to change my depressed mood, but fun it usually is not.
I am not sure exactly what steps to take to end this addiction, however. I've already been to my family doctor SO many times. Obviously I need to do something else. I have horrible social anxiety (crippling shyness) that will make AA very difficult, especially going alone. Many years ago when I was seeing a therapist I would actually drink before I went because otherwise I couldn't talk.
I know I need to do something different, I just haven't been able to quit on my own, although I really wanted to do it on my own. The shame I feel right now from the weekend is enough to keep me sober for a couple weeks I'm sure, but I'm terrified of that voice that starts saying I'm okay, no need to quit...
I am not sure exactly what steps to take to end this addiction, however. I've already been to my family doctor SO many times. Obviously I need to do something else. I have horrible social anxiety (crippling shyness) that will make AA very difficult, especially going alone. Many years ago when I was seeing a therapist I would actually drink before I went because otherwise I couldn't talk.
I know I need to do something different, I just haven't been able to quit on my own, although I really wanted to do it on my own. The shame I feel right now from the weekend is enough to keep me sober for a couple weeks I'm sure, but I'm terrified of that voice that starts saying I'm okay, no need to quit...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
drinking normally starts off as a cure all for many things by the time its got its claws in your its causing many of the same problems and then some.
I was always told alcohol was a depressent and made people depressed. when i started drinking i figured that was the biggest lie becuase i felt friggen fantastic while drunk etc.. as time went on that was the only time i felt good and after i sobered up i realized i was rediculously depressed.
taking the first steps is important. I knwo in the begining it feels like its a big waste of time or an impossible task so why bother. and you know honestly it wasnt all that rewarding for a while for me. But in the begining I tried to embrace the little rewards like the first day i wokeup without an hangover gee that was different pretty much everthing else about my day stunk especially the fact that i couldnt drink but waking up with out a hangover was good that night I looked forward to that again since i would not drink. it was about all i had to look forward too.
these steps added up and more things got added to my reward list of not drinking. it got better as time went on sometimes barely noticeably better but just one day at a time.
take the first couple steps and go from there. Going to an AA meeting for me was kinda like jumping into a cold swimming pool for the first time once you get in you get used to it and its not so bad.
I was really surprised to find so many people just like me to be honest. that might sound crazy but i thought no way will i be able to relate to those people etc..
I was always told alcohol was a depressent and made people depressed. when i started drinking i figured that was the biggest lie becuase i felt friggen fantastic while drunk etc.. as time went on that was the only time i felt good and after i sobered up i realized i was rediculously depressed.
taking the first steps is important. I knwo in the begining it feels like its a big waste of time or an impossible task so why bother. and you know honestly it wasnt all that rewarding for a while for me. But in the begining I tried to embrace the little rewards like the first day i wokeup without an hangover gee that was different pretty much everthing else about my day stunk especially the fact that i couldnt drink but waking up with out a hangover was good that night I looked forward to that again since i would not drink. it was about all i had to look forward too.
these steps added up and more things got added to my reward list of not drinking. it got better as time went on sometimes barely noticeably better but just one day at a time.
take the first couple steps and go from there. Going to an AA meeting for me was kinda like jumping into a cold swimming pool for the first time once you get in you get used to it and its not so bad.
I was really surprised to find so many people just like me to be honest. that might sound crazy but i thought no way will i be able to relate to those people etc..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi. I don’t know where your located but in many areas one can call the Local AA phone number and explain your situation, I’d almost guarantee a ride with someone in the program to meetings where you can meet others you feel comfortable with. There are millions in the program and every one of us had a first meeting to go to, often alone. It’s great to be among people who understand US.
BE WELL
BE WELL
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