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Why is this time different......

Old 05-26-2014, 07:57 PM
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Why is this time different......

I recently spent nearly a week on an annual fishing trip with a few buddies. We have been doing this for 11 years. Historically lots of drinking at night after we get off the water. 2 of these friends are ffrom out state, and one of those is like a brother to me.

He emailed the others ahead of time and asked that they curtail their drinking this year....unbeknownst to me. They did and it helped tremendously. I was very concerned and anxious in the days leading up to this trip. I found meetings in the area beforehand, and let my sponsor and a few others know what was going on and that I would be calling them if needed.

With that being said, my best friend and I were on the boat together the last day and he asked me why this time was different. I was sober for over 2 years a few years ago....but it was kind of like being a dry drunk. He said he noticed I seemed to have a different, better attitude, and he sincerely wanted to know why. His father was an alcoholic, so he has witnessed first hand the struggles.

I had a hard time formulating a response. He is right, it is different, but I have a hard time articulating exactly why.
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Old 05-26-2014, 08:00 PM
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It's an inside job. I think we get to a point where we realize that booze is a symptom if a bigger problem and we start to address that bigger problem. Sounds like you're there. And what a great friend you have!
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Old 05-26-2014, 08:01 PM
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I couldn't articulate it very well at first, either. The only thing that I knew for sure was that I had had enough; I just couldn't go on.
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Old 05-26-2014, 08:08 PM
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I feel a lot like you described. Something clicked inside me, I think Soberleigh put it beautifully, I just knew I couldn't go on.

Moderation to me would be like trying to eat jello with chopsticks, so the only answer was to be absolutely done with it and move on.

I wish I could remember who here mentioned this the other day, it really stuck with me. Trying to drink when we know we have a problem is like being the 35 year old who keeps going back to high school parties to recreate a part of their life that is over.

I was done, put a fork in it, hung up my letter jacket and moved on….
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Old 05-26-2014, 08:18 PM
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It doesn't always happen, but it's a very special thing when someone else notices it.
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Old 05-26-2014, 09:28 PM
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Hi kenkd, I don't have an answer to your question but I wanted to take the time to post to you to say way to go...I feel like you thought about the trip and clearly you care about these guys and put steps in place to look after yourself and still have a great time...
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