azbluesgal

It's one of the basic concepts in Buddhism. People cause themselves much more suffering than necessary going about their daily lives. the way it is. besides once you've really determined that alcohol cannot be a part of your life, you can go on and get busy living. Maybe that's it too. Think of all those happy sober people out there not giving a single thought to internet "friends" because they have evolved. Empowerment and Enlightenment can only be found within. Dependency on anything EXTERNAL pretty much guarantees failure. Multiple relapses and rehabs? Count 'Em up on these pages. My question: If the current system (medical model) WORKS (if ya work it ya know) then WHY are there so many stories here about relapse agony?

desypete

i stand on one leg and drop my trousers and whistle an annoying tune to anyone who picks on me. take that i say to them

it doesn't work by the way, but it makes me feel better

stairs

When I came to SR chat in August 2012 , a member there helped me out a lot through my first few weeks. I was such a mess! Turns out he only had a few months himself at the time. I chat with him still!

Then also I used to post a lot in the Class of August 2012 thread, and there are 2 or 3 people still here from that, one I chat with in chat and the others post in the One Year and Over thread.

Yes that's only a few out of the many that came through, some of whom I was sorta attached to in an online way, and it is disappointing when they disappear. I am happy to see the handful who are still here, though.

The same thing happens in my 12 step fellowship, people come and go, or go and come back, but there's a core group who is still there.

jaynie04

I agree. I also believe we each evidence the changes occurring in us in our writing. It often isn't apparent to us until later.

The first year of sobriety can be extreme, intense, and a lot of us do some flailing about trying to find our feet. I find this place to be overall nonjudgmental. And when I do read posts that are acerbic I find them fascinating. People reveal much more about themselves than they realize.

I think Double Dragons stated it beautifully about how real people here are. A lot of the social information that is used in face to face interactions isn't here, so relating is based on words. In some ways I consider it a more level playing field than the real world because many of the physical cues are absent. Whether people acknowledge it or not, we are constantly assessing each other by sight in real life. Here, it doesn't matter if you haven't taken a shower in 6 days, have Dorito stains down the front of your shirt, or are typing on your cell phone while pulled over at a rest stop on a Vespa in your Speedo…in the winter. Kinda love that.

I was thinking last night that I never go back and read my own old posts. I think there is a part of me that would cringe at some of the pontificating I have done. I know I have had ebbs and flows that are likely more apparent than I realize.

jdooner

How did you know I post in my Speedo?

Salv

Well hello stairs! I'm a newbie! But glad to be here. And glad your here. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm day 4 and a true mess!!!

jaynie04

Red, white and blue right!!

Leshar

Jaynie, pontificating?! Never! I love your posts, you write so beautifully, and have a wonderful sense of humour.

I think one of the reasons I love SR is that amongst the precious seeds of wisdom that are to be found and shared and planted, we can all have a good giggle together!
I guess people come and go, as in life. Me, I'm sticking around! SR has been a life saver for me.

desypete

i dont know much about Buddhism, but are you claiming that if alcoholics come to Buddhism, they will never drink again and be cured ?
do people come and try out Buddhism and fail ? or not come back again after there first meeting ?

all i know is aa works for me its worked now for many many years i believe in my heart that its the only way to stay sober and i base that belief on the people who come back into aa after going out again drinking compered to those memebers who have kept on coming back and stay sober so something must work
but its the nature of the beast people dont really accept there problem or accept a new way of living they only do things in half's rather then give themselves to it
one thing i did believe in is if you truly believe it will work it will work

however losing my son to stomach cancer and he was only 16 made me rethink that as we all truly believed the drs would save him, i truly believed god would save him

he died nothing saved him so i have to rethink things to find out what it is i believe in anymore
i belive aa can help me with my drinking problem and how to cope with life good or bad if i follow a way of living good but thats it end of there are no miracles going to happen or lotto wins etc (not that i want a lotto win) thats just stuff people make up in there minds in my view
so i have live each day with pain and not turn to booze and its easy not turning to booze but its not easy trying to cope with the pain
i get out of myself by trying to attend meetings listening to others who are in pain with the booze and i try to give them so sort of hope

thats what is working for me right now and has worked for me whenever i was in trouble but it took me a long time to get there
i have daily pain but i have to push on one day at a time being honest with you i would be quite happy if the drs told me i was going to die today as i would be free from this daily living
but thats how i feel at times i have other kids that need me as they lost a brother and i have to be there for them to help them

so i have lost the point i was trying to make here and ended up going into a long speach about what works for people, whatever might work for me might not work for others is the point i am trying to make

Leshar

Speedos....ugh! My Aussie pals in my July class tell me they're known there as "budgie smugglers"!

DoloresHaze

Hello all!

I've been a member for a while and i barely post at all. The reason is that I can't get it together. i haven't quit. I haven't even cut back and i'm ashamed. Sometimes it's even more depressing to see all these people who are living happily sober lives while i'm still a mess.

I want sobriety so badly.

jaybee1

This post prompted me to look at my "join date". Kind of depressing really. In my case I've fallen many times, and I tend to come back here (mostly as a lurker) at or around the time I'm trying to pick myself up, and dust myself off. It's been a great resource.

jdooner

Desypete - I am truly sorry for your loss. Words cannot convey my sympathy.

AA and Buddhism are not at odds. I practice some Buddhist principals and am in AA. One of the core philosophies in Buddhism is one of observation.

For me the awareness and mindfulness developed as a offshoot of Buddhism is something that is complementary to my recovery, which includes AA's 12 steps.

Stoogy

I had no idea anything like that was going on here, I would not entertain any negative thoughts at all.

We miss you here Kate, when I first came to SR there were only a handful of people I looked too and you were in that group. Take care.

jaynie04

Hi Dolores…I think this place helps people get it together. Somehow it feels like a team effort. Sobriety is not an easy thing, it helps me a lot to identify with a group. Maybe consider joining a class? There have been some really active classes lately, I know April and May of this year have been rocking. I was away for my first month so I missed the boat, but I lurk on some daily sites and there are some wonderful supportive relationships.

Don't ever feel bad because you are having a tough time, if anyone understands we do. I have most certainly been there!

jaynie04

Hey jayvee, I joined in late 2012 and didn't start posting until I got back from a month of treatment last June. I think the fact that you are still here is a pretty huge thing…you are obviously circling the wagons. Jump in, there are lots of threads, and we don't bite. (ok, some people nibble..).

jaynie04

Sorry I spelled your name wrong Jaybee!

jaybee1

Thanks. Yeah I joined long before my first post. I just wish it would stick this time.

stairs

Hi Salv, it gets better. What you are doing is huge and you should be proud of yourself. What I did was watched a lot of movies, netflix was a lifesaver.

Kllme

Me too but not a mess due to withdrawls. A mess because of life situation.