Old 05-26-2014, 11:35 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
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Funny, I never really understood what honesty was until I was 6 months sober. I was at a meeting and this guy said, "Hell I lie about how long it takes to mow my yard." I realized at that moment that my life was full of these kind of lies.

Lying is my default state. If i feel threatened i will lie everytime. Honesty is something i work everyday at with some days better than others.

I am moving forward with each day a little more honest than the day before
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Old 05-26-2014, 12:48 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Laozi Old Man
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Old 05-26-2014, 12:57 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Great post. I have said honest, openness and willingness are three key characteristics one has to adopt. But digging into honesty for a moment and some of the comments about telling the truth. It is my view that when you lie to puff your own ego its coming from a place of insecurity. Something most of us addicts/alcoholics suffer. In fact, you are giving more value to the person you are lying to than yourself if you think about it...why lie about the how long it takes to cut the lawn? Because you feel the person you are speaking to is better than you or you would not lie. So one must dig deep into the depth of one's own insecurity and build confidence to become authentic. It is my personal view that authenticity is beauty and you will become a magnet of attraction in whatever it is you want in life.
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Old 05-26-2014, 04:05 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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say what you mean
and mean what you say
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Old 05-26-2014, 07:24 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by leviathan View Post
being honest with yourself is like gaining a superpower. I think its the soil recovery grows from. -I know that was cheesy. but it really is true for me. it started when I said, "ok. I was wrong. this is not working. I have a problem, and its serious.".
Thanks for bringing this back around. The root of my initial post. This is the heart of what I feel. Bedrock. I'm done testing the waters.
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Old 05-26-2014, 07:54 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by azbluesgal View Post
just a question - about honesty. What do you call an abstinent sociopath? I'm just saying even if someone QUITs drinking and drugging - and has a sociopathic personality - is THAT sobriety? Note - a true sociopath will always be a consummate liar - never heard of one of those becoming "normal". Hint (they only appear normal).
My father was a sociopath and a compulsive liar. He was also alcoholic. Abstinent for 8 years he starting drinking again and eventually died from it. I think anyone can abstain and be dishonest with themselves and others. Most pathological liars believe and or justify their own lies. The world is the problem, not them. The difference is that honesty with sobriety is more likely to succeed in the long run. Being dishonest always trips us up in the end. Those that relapse over and over have generally been unable to be honest with themselves. Then you get the type that is a snake in the grass and can still give the bottle away. Abstinence does not lead to a change in character. Self will and a strong ego seems to carry this type.
For me the worst part of drinking was the endless lying. I could deal with the hangovers, shame and "looks" what couldn't handle in the end was telling bare faced lies. I felt morally bankrupt, spiritually bare and completely compromised. The drink had become the devil and it owned my soul, mind and body.
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