dollpart

I'm not sure I have this recovery left in me. On Day 20 now, and desperate to get to three weeks. I know that's my choice and it's in my hands, but I wouldn't trust a box of eggs in my hands. I'm tired and lonely and have had a bad few days. I know alcohol wouldn't solve anything, probably not even temporarily, but I don't know what else to turn to this evening. I know this is a pointless, unhelpful post and I apologise. Like I said, I don't know where else to turn right now.

SoberLeigh

you have turned to SR for support and that is huge. It is so difficult in the beginning; it will get easier, I promise. With time, the benefits of sobriety will emerge.

Please stay strong, dollpart.

gettingbetter64

It's not pointless or unhelpful so many others are struggling too. I know I am, no matter how many bad days you have or how lonely you get just remember how disappointed you will be with yourself if you give in now. 20 days is amazing that's almost a month. You should feel really proud of yourself it's not easy for addicts. Take care

dollpart

Thanks SoberLeigh and gettingbetter. I know how close it is to a month- that's making it worse, because I know I will disapoint myself I don't know that I can hang in here anymore.

Opivotal

Sounds to me like you're admitting defeat, setting yourself up for failure. Why count days Doll? Maybe try one day at a time.

You're sober today! That's awesome. You have such a beautiful spirit, I hate to see you being so hard on yourself.

Have you tried cognitive therapy? If not, why not look into it? Just a suggestion Doll, it helped me so much.

SoberLeigh

You CAN hang in. Do you have any face-to-face support, dollpart?

dollpart

Thanks Opi. I haven't tried cognitive therapy, at least since I was too young and stubborn to get anything out of it! Maybe I'll give it another go when I move back to London.

I'm just finding today hard. Don't know how to get through the rest of the night. More sleeping pills maybe. Have been taking them every night to ride out the cravings. They won't last forever.

dollpart

No. Could've gone to a meeting tonight but a friend was sposed to come so I thought I'd other plans...

SoberLeigh

How about some phone numbers to call (by meeting, I am assuming you mean AA???)?

If all else fails, have a warm bath and head off to bed; there's a good chance things will look brighter tomorrow.

Keep leaning us; we are here and rooting for you, dollpart.

dollpart

Thanks SoberLeigh. I really appreciate your words.

Think I will go to bed soon...

I have some numbers but I suspect people are at the AA meeting.xx

robgt350

doll please told drink. you are day 20 that is so great.
please hang out here and stay sober. ur a great person and you know it!

Stoogy

You should always post when you are feeling down as it's trigger moments that can get us, you know alcohol will not help this situation and you know you will only feel worst for it when you wake up in the morning knowing you are back to square one. Try to look at the positives here, you are 20 days into your journey and it will only get easier one day at a time, you have to give yourself credit, you have done a great job so far.

"A post a day keeps the alcohol at bay"

dollpart

Thank you, rob. You've been so helpful

dollpart

Thanks Stoogy. I am trying so hard tonight. Just 2 and a half hours to the 21 Day Mark. I hope I can make it. I don't want to wake up at Square One.

SoberLeigh

You will make it, dollpart, and we will congratulate you on 21 days - three weeks!!!!!

dollpart

Feeling better for being on here. x

SoberLeigh

How are you feeling today, dollpart????

gvrecovery

When I was in rehab, I had been taking Lunesta to sleep; a doctor there said that sleeping pills are "alcohol in pill- form", so while I completely understand your situation, you may wish to look at stopping at some point. Hope you made it, let us know.

dollpart

Soberleigh- I made it!! Three weeks. It's done, I've it! And days are all hard but I can be proud of this one...

gvrecovery- I know... I will need to stop it at some point. Don't think my dr. will give me any more, anyway...

xxx

Dee74

Congratulations on 3 weeks Dollpart

D