First AA meeting tonight
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 12
First AA meeting tonight
Hey everyone.
Today on day 26 I attended my first AA meeting. I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed it, and there were in fact a lot of people my age, in their 20's, there too.
I was connected to a member through a friend who I was honest with about becoming sober around day 20. Prior to that I felt as though no one I knew even knew anyone else sober, but sure enough the connection was made. When my friend texted me the contact info of this member, I actually cried I was so touched by their act of kindness and caring for me by making this connection. When I told the member this tonight after the meeting, she referred to that as a "God" moment, as that was a topic today in the meeting. This really resonated with me. Why else would a simple text message bring me to tears? Very eye opening.
I went in to the meeting knowing to look for similarities, and I was able to find many with every person who spoke. I couldn't help however but to notice the differences as well. I tried to keep them at bay, but it was tough. Yes I know I have a serious problem with alcohol, but the differences like me never being someone who drank every day, or ever drank alone, or ever did any drugs, etc kept sticking out. What are some ways that people are able to focus on the similarities and cast aside the differences? I know there are all kinds of alcoholics, and I know a lot of my troubles with alcohol makes me one too.
Thanks in advance
Today on day 26 I attended my first AA meeting. I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed it, and there were in fact a lot of people my age, in their 20's, there too.
I was connected to a member through a friend who I was honest with about becoming sober around day 20. Prior to that I felt as though no one I knew even knew anyone else sober, but sure enough the connection was made. When my friend texted me the contact info of this member, I actually cried I was so touched by their act of kindness and caring for me by making this connection. When I told the member this tonight after the meeting, she referred to that as a "God" moment, as that was a topic today in the meeting. This really resonated with me. Why else would a simple text message bring me to tears? Very eye opening.
I went in to the meeting knowing to look for similarities, and I was able to find many with every person who spoke. I couldn't help however but to notice the differences as well. I tried to keep them at bay, but it was tough. Yes I know I have a serious problem with alcohol, but the differences like me never being someone who drank every day, or ever drank alone, or ever did any drugs, etc kept sticking out. What are some ways that people are able to focus on the similarities and cast aside the differences? I know there are all kinds of alcoholics, and I know a lot of my troubles with alcohol makes me one too.
Thanks in advance
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
It's good to have you here at SoberRecovery, Lkl!
And thanks for attending that meeting! I would say that I strive to appreciate the differences rather than cast them aside.
And thanks for attending that meeting! I would say that I strive to appreciate the differences rather than cast them aside.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
I am glad that you decided to go to your first meeting. I know for me it was tough to admit that something was missing in my life, even though I had 18 months sober behind me. Now that I have been going to meetings for a few months, I am starting to feel more complete each day.
Keep going and work the program with a sponsor when you are ready. It is a journey of discovery about yourself and getting to know yourself is CRUCIAL to moving forward in your recovery.
Please don't worry about the differences you see between yourself and others because we are all different and have had different experiences to get us into the rooms of AA. Learn from others and support their efforts to get and stay sober and clean.
I'd like to invite you to join our chat room meetings here at SR every tue and fri at 6pm PST/9pm EST in the US. Just click on the Chat Room button above and click on the door next to where it says 'Meeting Room' in the yellow field on the right side.
Keep going and work the program with a sponsor when you are ready. It is a journey of discovery about yourself and getting to know yourself is CRUCIAL to moving forward in your recovery.
Please don't worry about the differences you see between yourself and others because we are all different and have had different experiences to get us into the rooms of AA. Learn from others and support their efforts to get and stay sober and clean.
I'd like to invite you to join our chat room meetings here at SR every tue and fri at 6pm PST/9pm EST in the US. Just click on the Chat Room button above and click on the door next to where it says 'Meeting Room' in the yellow field on the right side.
Just a Sober ******* Now
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: S.IN
Posts: 150
Congrats on the first meeting! It truly is an AMAZING program!
As for the differences, after some time, those differences are actually something that helps keep me sober. Like you, I never did drugs and typically wasn't an everyday drinker. However, in working the steps and discovering a lot about myself, I feel I have a bit better sense of self-awareness... I can hear/see those differences, and apply them to myself. "This guy drank everyday, is homeless, and sold crack" While those are different experiences, it doesn't mean I wasn't headed down that path. One misstep, and I could have been fast-tracked down that path.
Two things my sponsor reminds me of frequently:
1.) Every person has their own low. Some require a lower low than others before they're ready.
2.) In those differences you can find lessons. Lessons that were hard-learned, so unless I want first-hand experience, I should learn from them.
Good luck and congrats on the 27 days!
As for the differences, after some time, those differences are actually something that helps keep me sober. Like you, I never did drugs and typically wasn't an everyday drinker. However, in working the steps and discovering a lot about myself, I feel I have a bit better sense of self-awareness... I can hear/see those differences, and apply them to myself. "This guy drank everyday, is homeless, and sold crack" While those are different experiences, it doesn't mean I wasn't headed down that path. One misstep, and I could have been fast-tracked down that path.
Two things my sponsor reminds me of frequently:
1.) Every person has their own low. Some require a lower low than others before they're ready.
2.) In those differences you can find lessons. Lessons that were hard-learned, so unless I want first-hand experience, I should learn from them.
Good luck and congrats on the 27 days!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by Lkl2252 
Why else would a simple text message bring me to tears?
I do not think I ever felt it until I went to AA. So many people that I never met trying to help me brought tears and it still does. Several of the people I have met have become my true friends. I would not be where I am today without them.
AA is a wonderful program but it is so much more. It is a way to live life on life's terms. To live sober and be reasonably happy doing it. Life still happens of course but dealing with it and not drinking is a blessing.
I am glad you had a good meeting. Keep coming back!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good on ya!
"What are some ways that people are able to focus on the similarities and cast aside the differences? "
prolly the simplest way would be to just cast aside the differences. might not be easy, but practice it.
"What are some ways that people are able to focus on the similarities and cast aside the differences? "
prolly the simplest way would be to just cast aside the differences. might not be easy, but practice it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 77
Congratulations on the 27 days!
Differences are not necessarily a bad thing. The best example I can draw from my own experience is:
I've been attending AA meetings now for over 3 months, and I'm not going to lie, I struggled with what I thought was the 'religious' side of it for a long time (I even started a thread on here, as I felt like turning my back on it). Then, I went to what I consider one of the most useful meetings during my sober time, where this aspect was explored. At the end of the meeting, and several shares later, I realised just how much people's concept of a 'higher power restoring us to sanity' varied. There were people who had received a Christian upbringing, complete atheists, and those who had found a faith later in life, but didn't necessarily believe in a 'God'. One woman had faith after she came back from a life-threatening situation, and an atheist man described how for him it is about appreciating the beauty of nature, and how we would be instead living in utter darkness and chaos if a higher power didn't exist. I've even heard of a man who said that his dog was his higher power! It also reassured me that people have that 'moment' where they discover their higher power at very different times in their recovery.
Another is: even if everyone else is being positive with their shares, it's ok to say that you have had a rubbish day or are struggling.
The important thing is that we are all united by a common interest: a desire to stay sober. The fellowship is what keeps me coming back, as everyone is always ready to offer a supportive hand. Make sure you keep getting numbers and texting people! You will soon build a solid foundation in AA and will also hopefully have made some new friends in the process.
Best wishes.
Differences are not necessarily a bad thing. The best example I can draw from my own experience is:
I've been attending AA meetings now for over 3 months, and I'm not going to lie, I struggled with what I thought was the 'religious' side of it for a long time (I even started a thread on here, as I felt like turning my back on it). Then, I went to what I consider one of the most useful meetings during my sober time, where this aspect was explored. At the end of the meeting, and several shares later, I realised just how much people's concept of a 'higher power restoring us to sanity' varied. There were people who had received a Christian upbringing, complete atheists, and those who had found a faith later in life, but didn't necessarily believe in a 'God'. One woman had faith after she came back from a life-threatening situation, and an atheist man described how for him it is about appreciating the beauty of nature, and how we would be instead living in utter darkness and chaos if a higher power didn't exist. I've even heard of a man who said that his dog was his higher power! It also reassured me that people have that 'moment' where they discover their higher power at very different times in their recovery.
Another is: even if everyone else is being positive with their shares, it's ok to say that you have had a rubbish day or are struggling.
The important thing is that we are all united by a common interest: a desire to stay sober. The fellowship is what keeps me coming back, as everyone is always ready to offer a supportive hand. Make sure you keep getting numbers and texting people! You will soon build a solid foundation in AA and will also hopefully have made some new friends in the process.
Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 383
I think we all compare out to others - it's one way we stayed in denial in order to rationalize continuing what is an irrational act - drinking large amounts of one of the most toxic substances of abuse - booze.
Someone once told me something to help remember not to compare: It's not how much I drank, or with who, or for how long, but what happened when I drank. Did I miss work with hangovers? Did I fall away from family? Did I hide my drinking at times? Did I cross paths with the law? Did I develop health problems? Yep, yep and yep. It doesn't matter in what style or or in what quantity we abused alcohol, but most addicts with have one or more of the above issues and then some, regardless of if we appear to be "better" or "worse" than the next person. Hope that helps
Someone once told me something to help remember not to compare: It's not how much I drank, or with who, or for how long, but what happened when I drank. Did I miss work with hangovers? Did I fall away from family? Did I hide my drinking at times? Did I cross paths with the law? Did I develop health problems? Yep, yep and yep. It doesn't matter in what style or or in what quantity we abused alcohol, but most addicts with have one or more of the above issues and then some, regardless of if we appear to be "better" or "worse" than the next person. Hope that helps
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 314
If you like the program, just gravitate towards those who you feel a connection with. There are definitely sober people I want to learn from and spend time with, and those who I don't. Just like every where else in life. As a side note, lucky you for having ppl your age in the meetings! For some reason in the meetings I've been to I've almost always been one of the youngest, and I'm 37! I know age is just a number, but I would love to see more younger professionals, people with young families, etc in the meetings. I guess I'll have to keep looking as I seem to keep stumbling upon the retirement meetings? One a positive note most if them have 15 or more years sober, so yes, it can be done!!!
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