Klp9999

I have been sober for over a year and for three days I have been fighting the desire to drink and when I have the desire I know I want to drink and drink and drink like old times. I conquered the craving and feel better today. I thought those desires were behind me and I was free. I would be doing laundry and think wouldn't some vodka be good right now the thought would come right out of the blue. I almost felt like I did when I first stopped drinking the desire was so persistent. Sobriety is much to important to me I did not drink and will never drink again.

Boleo

I find that the fewer decisions I make, the less room thoughts of alcohol have to get into my head. So what do I use in place of decision making?

Group Of Drunks - aka sponsor, fellowship, sharing partner
Good Orderly Direction - aka prayer, meditation
Guider Of Decisions - aka principles, boundary's

huntingtontx

It is crazy. I don't want to drink either. I know it is a dead end road, but every now and then, my mind says, you can have a drink. It is your life. I then think about my life and how much better it is sober. I guess the voice in my head will always be there, but I have answers for it. Thanks for sharing. I am glad I am not alone.

ScottFromWI

It's called additction, and unfortunately it never goes away. I am well over a year myself and there are still days like today where it's beautiful weather, warm and I think..man, it would sure be nice to just have a cold beer or two. But then I remember that it will NEVER be just a beer or two. It certainly lessens over time, but I still need to remind myself that I am an alcholic and I always will be.

easyrider73

Its absolute insane, I fight off the desires daily. I know what happens when I drink but yet I still cave in. I'm on my what seems like millionth 24 hour period sober.

SonomaGal

Congrats on a year +!!

I can relate. My thought is that we drank a lot for a long time, and thus for many years the drinker had free reign. Now that we've reeled that in, cravings can seem a little like a crazy ex that shows up unannounced and begs you to drink and have fun with them. Sometimes they show up for a 5 minute visit, sometimes they stay for a week. But when they leave, you're so glad they're gone. As a side benefit, it is a very strong reminder that we've chosen a new life.

Sounds like you're really clear that you won't drink again, so I think this will pass soon.

Firefall

Addiction changes the brain physically. The receptors never go away, they just go dormant. The desire for dopamine by the receptors makes you want to drink or take.whatever you are addicted to. Try exercise, start a project and find ish it, take care of a chore, visit friends that are positive to get natural doses of the feel good chemicals our body makes.

FBL

At nearly five years sober, I still have an occassional thought about drinking (they aren't strong enough to really call "cravings"). Figure I spent nearly 30 years feeding my addiction, so it's not surprising that the thoughts pop up from time to time. I just shrug them off and go back about my sober life. I think each time I don't give in it makes me a little bit stronger.

RevivingOphelia

Year and half later and still deal with them. JUST drove past local pub after work and longingly looked at all the people on the patio enjoying drinks in the warm weather. After all the work I got done today, don't I deserve it too!? ugh.

Kinda sucks.

But I'll be glad I didn't join them tomorrow b/c, for me, it doesn't stop at one or two or three or four ….

zjw

its that itch. you just cant scratch it. I get it now and then too and I get stpid ideas too. its insane how something that bit you so bad can be the one thing your still itchen to do.

its like having a gambling addiction thinking the next pull on the slot machine will be it then you'll stop then you'll win then you'll never play again. win or not you'll still gamble.

booze is like that no matter how many times it kicks you in the teeth you still seem to think you can win the game and you never will.

just dont scratch the itch.

Dee74

Many people get twitchy around anniversaries Klp9999.
I thought about drinking, on and off, for most of my first year and into my second.

Thoughts are thoughts - it's what we do in response that counts.

congrats on your year - stay strong

D

Hawk07

I'm only on day 9 and can tell I have many more battles to win with this. The craving hit me out of no where around 5 today while I was driving home..that stupid little voice just crept up and was like 'hey we could pull over and grab a couple shots of vodka at the liquor store, just 2 no big deal' And then it was non stop back and forth of that and me saying no, its not worth it, no its not worth it over and over. Exhausting. I made it home, did pull over at a fruit stand and bought a giant watermelon which I will probably eat half of tonight. I really hope this gets easier with time.

zjw

One other thing I've had to do is realize there is no rational reason really. I"m sick i need help I'm addict thats why. I wish i had a deeper answer but in my case I"m afraid there isnt one. it is what it is.

Why does a heroine addict wanna stick themselves with a needle I mean i cant understand that for the life of me. I hate needles why would you ever wanna do that! But haveing known a few its because there sick and there addicts they cant help themselves they need help.

oak

I occasionally get very strong desires to drink also. Sometimes, there is an obvious trigger.

It is amazing that our brains work like that.

Croissant

Yes, it's annoying, distressing at times.

Good on you for posting....you know it's just an echo of an old thought pattern.

yeahgr8

I went to AA, got a sponsor, worked the steps and the mental obsession left me. I went to lots of counselling, read lots of books, educated myself on alcoholism and my behaviours. This was all in the first 6 months.

Point is i put the work into change and i changed. I don't get any thoughts of drinking, nostalgia about drinking, triggers etc. anyone can do this, this is one of AA's promises.

Before, when i stopped drinking, eventually it would seem like someone had taken the booze away and i woukd start romancing a drink.

Anyways if anyone gets fed up with thoughts/triggers/cravings/mental obsession/AV etc then go to AA and do what i did, it's all written down on how to do it.

Croissant

I can't speak for others, but my post was not one speaking to a mental obsession with alcohol. The original post was in regard to anniversary coming up and thoughts around that.

yeahgr8

That is a mental obsession regardless of what triggered it. That's why the AA book warns that at some point if we don't change we will be defenceless; it may be an anniversary, a death, a loss if job, health issues etc.

Croissant

I was clarifying my response and I respectfully disagree.

LBrain

congrats on a year+. Stay strong. You will get better and better as time goes on.