karate

You may find you have lost the taste for beer .

ScottFromWI

Our sleeping patterns can and do change because of alcohol. Even small amounts. A good test for you would be to abstain completely for a while and see if your sleep improves. This should be a pretty simple thing for you to try if you can completely control your drinking as you suggest.

karate

Alochol does not work for sleep.

Feel free to do your own experiences .

grubby

Not enough sleep? The story of my sobriety lol

Most nights I average a measly 5 hours, and I am 90 days since the last drink. I really wish someone would have told me about this part, who knows how much lost productivity i have incurred over the last 3 months........

Nothing new, nothing new

Really though, if i had a "check list" for recovery symptoms i could probably cross off 99.99% of the items EXCEPT the "sleep" check-box.......... sometimes i wonder when my brain will just get over it and return to it's factory default settings, this is getting old.

Woozy

It's worrying how unwilling you are to give up those two or three drinks.

Sudz No More

Based on things I have read from you when you first joined nothing good can come of this. If you are convinced that have you moderation firmly working for you than maybe your sleep deprivation has nothing to do with alcohol. On the other hand, if you are thinking about this enough to come here and ask a bunch of alcoholics what to do then maybe it isn't working. You are obviously still thinking a lot about drinking just to moderate. Is it worth the lost brain power to monitor a habit all the time?

Crossfitdad

Sudz: don't we have to moderate everything? Is it not a human urge to purge (haha rhymes)? I could eat an entire half gallon of ice cream in one sitting...I've done it before...despite knowing my stomachs gonna hurt and I'll gain weight. The enjoyment is not worth the cost.

I've always been obsessive on things. I remember the first time I ever got a buzz (not drunk), I thought I was an alcoholic for weeks and didn't drink for over a year. I've always been a bit if a hypochondriac. I got bit by a kitten when I was 8 and I was convinced I had contracted rabies...haha

This weekend we had a graduation in the family. We went out to party and celebrate. I had three beers and had zero inclination or desire to go beyond that 3rd one. It wasn't a fight and it wasn't a struggle. When I woke in the morning, I felt good. If I had kept drinking, I'd have had a headache, anxiety, depression, etc. So, just like the ice cream, the enjoyment is not worth the cost. I just have to remain cognizant of the cost.

I'm going down to 1 stronger beer a night this week. Let's see how that goes.

Who knows, I may be back here in two months saying how wrong I was.

jdooner

No. You use ice cream as an example. Our mindsets are probably similar. I cut out processed sugar because with cookies and ice cream I noticed the same shame and guilt after indulging. This is because I am an addict and have a thread that weaves in my mindset and touches on most things. I am also and alcoholic. This means things that steal or take from my life like ice cream, bread, alcohol, drugs I can't moderate, I need to abstain.

See I have surrendered to who I am and am no longer fighting myself. This allows me to give up things that are not adding to my live. These are my hungry ghosts and can never be fulfilled or satisfied if they are addictions.

This is your journey but my take is you are spending copious amount of time and energy trying to moderate. Most normal drinkers don't think or obsess in your case, over moderating, it comes natural. But then those "normal" drinkers don't hang on a sober website asking alcoholics and addicts for reassurance.

I would imagine that most of my comments will bother you. I know you don't want to admit you might be one of us. So I wish you the best. Keep in mind though to win this war you sometimes have to surrender the battle.

jdooner

All your own answers are written in your response to my post, which was fairly benign. I hope you don't leave, as I truly think you belong here whether you accept this yet or not.

ScottFromWI

The problem is that what you state above is impossible. Alcoholics cannot moderate - plain and simple. They might be able to for a while, but eventually heavy drinking will come back. And the health/social problems that come along with the heavy drinking.

It may be that you aren't an alcoholic. If that's the case, wonderful. You can just drink 2 beers a day and be fine.

Or, it may be that you are an alcoholic and just haven't accepted it yet. If you look back through your own posts, there are quite a few things that might suggest this.

1. You still think that drinking may be causing you sleep issues even with 2 beers, but you are unwilling to just quit for a few weeks or so to see if that helps.

2. You question your drinking, even at low levels on a Sobriety forum. If you are not an alcoholic, why would you even consider coming here in the first place?

3. Your past posts ( and not that far in the past ) indicate that you have had pretty serious problems with your drinking ( high BP, etc.. ). Drinking to the point of causing health issues is a serious, serious problem.

4. Your defensiveness when questioned about your drinking. Denial is very common with all of us.

Bottom line, you have to decide all this for yourself. You are always welcome here of course, just as you would be in any other support community. But what you will NOT find is approval of your moderation. The recovery community is about abstinence - and working toward it. Your past suggests that abstinence, or at least temporary abstinence, might be a good idea.

Sudz No More

Denile is not a river in Egypt. Your post back to jdooner pretty cements the deal for me. When you are ready to surrender and give it another go, we'll be here. No hard feelings. Come back whenever you want, we don't hold grudges about this. Most of us here have been right where you are.

karate

You don't have to convince us of anything .

You have to convince yourself .

If 2 beers a day are not a big deal , leave them off .

Kitkat331

I really don't get this. If crossfitdad starts bingeing (like I did every time I tried to just cut back) then, sure, failed experiment. But why is everyone so opposed to his successful moderation? I have two coffees each morning. I enjoy them and I don't notice any serious negative effects. I'm content after two and I never lose control and drink the whole pot or waste my day away at Starbucks. So I plan to keep having them. Yes, I'm addicted/dependent--it would take some effort and weaning off or withdrawal symptoms to give them up, and I would probably miss my coffee even after that. But so what? As long as I am able to keep it under control and not risk my health, more power to me.

If I could drink a glass or two of wine and not crave more, I would. I know it doesn't work that way for me, but I don't have a problem with people who can.

ScottFromWI

Re-read the original post please. CF was concerned that his current state of tapering was still causing him sleep issues. Some suggested quitting completely to see if that cleared it up. No one has a problem with him not being an alcoholic - quite the contrary. His story is very similar to many of us though in that we had issues with drinking and were never able to moderate long term. Please read some of his original posts for context as well.

ImperfectlyMe

Kit kat I dont think anyone is opposed in fact I say more would say good for you you can moderate. But if that's the case why post that on a site where people struggle to stay sober. Seems inappropriate to me.

Kitkat331

Ok, yeah, I get that--does seem like there's probably a better place to find support.

WritingFromLife

Every time the subject of "obsessing" over alcohol comes up, I am reminded of another member's post--I can't find it for the life of me and I am not sure he is around here any longer--but he substituted the word alcohol with broccoli, and then went on with the dialogue in his head about broccoli (ie, I am only going to have two broccoli servings tonight, that's it, or, I have cut back my broccoli considerably) etc. I can't do it justice, but you get the idea! It really hit home for me!

LBrain

Best of luck Crossfitdad. In the future if you find that it is becoming a problem or you are having trouble managing it don't hesitate to check back in here. I know I will not say I told you so. And I won't say anything demeaning toward you. I was not brainwashed by aa.

Good luck. Hope to not see you here again - I mean that as a vote of confidence. Be careful out there and be mindful of your limitations.

Dee74

and we're done. Move along folks.

D