yeahgr8

I would advise going to AA meetings of course although most people come to AA out of desperation and at a point where they feel like they have little alternative. I'm certain it is the last place in the world our alcoholism or addiction would want us to be hence why we don't go until the end of a long a miserable drinking career.

I guess the question is do you want to get sober now or do it when you have no one left to turn to but AA?

robgt350

i came here with the same thoughts as you did and same emotions too. i actually signed up here hung over squinting my eyes. but that was 18 months ago and i have been sober ever since.

i took notice on you said you are going to focus on your health. i think that is a great idea. going to the doctor is a good idea, but i know not every one can afford it, which is sad even though there is socialized medicine. but i focused on my health. i ate a healthier diet, i started walking to get exercise. but most of all i stopped drinking 100%. i also found i tried to establish a stable sleeping pattern too, and meal times.

i also had to find ways to stimulate my mind when i wanted to drink, so i took up cooking, so i try to cook a nice meal when i had an urge then i would eat it. i also took other new hobbies.
come to the chat room here, there are great people who can talk to, i did and it helped.

glad to meet you , and please come back!

Americanpie

Thanks for the continued support on this thread. I am going onto day 3 now and I can feel myself slowly getting back to thinking it would be okay to pick up a bottle at the store today. I can't do this!! I must find a way to stop myself. Since finding this site, I have been on it off and on all day and night. I am not sleeping well. I wake up multiple times through the night and the guilt overcomes me again.
I feel so alone right now, my Husband won't be back for another week at the least. Him being gone so much has contributed to my drinking. The boredom, loneliness and the fact that he isn't here to see how wasted I get or how hungover I am the next day. What I wouldn't give for a hug and a shoulder to cry on right now. I am trying not to phone him too much. I know he has to work and I know that I am the one that got myself in this situation.
I will be attending my first meeting on Tuesday when the kids go back to school. In the meantime I need to hold on and not give in to the temptation to drink.

SoberLeigh

Lean on us, Americanpie, especially when you feel triggered. There is always someone here who cares and who wants very much to see you succeed.

falseemperor

Family is most important thing.

Johnston

I would try a FTF support group initially.

Stoogy

Well done for pouring that poison down the drain, step 1 accomplished. There are many ways of gaining support depending on what you think will be most beneficial to you personally, SR is always a great way of keeping you together when the rest of the world belittles the addiction strains we have to endure.
Some pholks do go down the external support group method which may well work wonders for you too. Either way there is no right or wrong answer here, as long as it works.
I wish you extremely well

Gottalife

Wonderful to hear you are off to your first meeting on Tuesday. That's a huge decision and a big step in the right direction. It took a lot to get me to my first meeting, but I will never forget it. There was this old man called Joe with a bright yellow bush shirt, white hair, and a big smile. He was actually glad to see me. That was a new experience for me.

Probably the most important thing I was told beforehand was to look for the similarities. It wasn't really the stories. We all have different stories from the marauding drunken mugger, to the stay at home drinker who never gets in trouble with anyone, so there will be differences in the stories, but it's not the stories that make us alcoholic.

The similarities are in the way we drank and how we felt. From the way we felt sober, the way we couldn't seem to stop drinking, and the way we lost control of how much we drank when we started, and how bad we felt after. Look at you own experience and compare. You will find plenty of similar experience in the meeting.

Well done Americanpie. I am looking forward to hearing how it went.

Americanpie

Today has been a challenge and it kind of hit me that losing my vehicle and my license might just be what I needed to make me stop drinking. It's a gorgeous sunny Saturday afternoon, I took my kids to a Birthday party, came home to start dinner. Normally this is when I would start to drink, it's warm out and I have done my Mommy duties of the day.
Usually I would just jump in the car, drive to the liquor store and come home and drink. Well thankfully there is no liquor stores within walking distance, so that's not going to happen.
That is what I am thankful for right now!!

Americanpie

I'm on day 8 of no alcohol and feeling good. I've been biking my kids to school this week and I feel like that kick start helps me focus more on healthy living. There is no way I would have been able to get my kids to school this past week if I had not stopped my drinking. I can't even count how many times I'd roll out of bed, throw together a lunch for the kids and jump in the car in my PJ's, drop them at the front door of the school, drive home and climb right back into bed!! This weekend might be a challenge. Hubby comes home, it's the first time since my DUI. I hope that he will not drink this weekend. He has no issues with alcohol so I feel bad asking him not to drink.

karate

You may find out ,Without the depressive effects of alcohol .............

You might just feel good .-I did .

Ill tell you a little bit about my experience .

When I drank heavy ,depression was bad . Don't drink ,no depression .

If you want to go for bonus points , eat a very healthy diet and you might just feel amazing .

Lkl2252

Americanpie,

It was extremely hard for me to accept I had a problem as well. I had a chance in October, and because I didnt take it I have now lost important relationships. For me, it has been really really helpful to be honest with people about what I am going through. That doesn't mean that you have to tell everyone you know, but being honest with the people who are close with you will really help. They care about you and they will support you. I was pretty shocked and touched by some of the responses I got from some of my friends when I told them what I was dealing with. I was able to be connected though those same friends to others who are living sober who I have no connected with for support. I am actually attending my first AA meeting tonight through one of those connections. I am a little nervous, and not sure if it will be for me, but I am eager to check it out and it will be nice to not have to go alone. I think you will be surprised by the reactions and support you will get from your loved ones. I fell a lot of shame as well for the mistakes I have made when I was drinking and for how close I came to legal action because of it. We cant let shame keep us from seeking out help and being honest though. In the end, I think you will actually feel better to talk about this with others. It will allow the room in your mind for some of that shame to go away over time.

Stay on here as well...! I have only been on here a few weeks and am on day 26 of being sober, but the responses here are so supportive and helpful.

Best of luck...!

topspin

Americanpie,

Congrats on 8 days !!

Reading and posting here at SR saved my behind , in those early days.

....you've got a foothold on a wonderful new life just beginning.

fini

way to go on eight days, AP.
about asking hubby, i'm thinking that there's a difference between asking him not to drink and asking him to help you find other things to do, for yourself and for both of you. i'm not saying it well, but the difference is in asking for support vs simply asking him not to do something. he just might be happy to contribute to a healthier, saner you and life with you.

any news on the meeting?

Americanpie

Good advice Fini. Embarrassingly, no news on meetings. There's nothing around my house during the day when my oldest is at school and now that I can't drive, it makes it even a bit tougher, especially with the little one home full time.
Both kids are leaving in a couple of weeks. They are going away with their Grandparents until September.
I am going to focus on finding a job this Summer. I have never worked, I have no experience and I am in my mid 30's so it might be a bit of a challenge. I figure even if I get a job at McDonalds, it will give me something to occupy myself and let me make some money towards the DUI related fines. As I have said, Hubby works out of town and I don't see him for weeks at a time. This will be leaving me with a lot of free time and that could be really dangerous!!

fini

AP,
of COURSE you've worked!
i stayed home with my kids for about the first ten years and then got paid employment. much much easier than staying home!

of course you worked, you just didn't get a paycheque or several references. sheesh!

it's easy not to go to meetings.
i remember going to my first LifeRing meeting; well, actually, getting uip the courage to go was tougher almost than the actual going. and that's even though i knew it wasn't AA and i wouldn't have to even say "my name is fini and i'm an alcoholic". and i knew it was "just" peer support and conversation.
i MADE myself go; i knew i had to do it just once, because it was an out-loud acknowledgment to myself in front of others that i was addicted to alcohol (that's how i thought of it then). it was "out loud" even if i never said a word. i knew i HAD to. and i was just going to go, be quiet, then leave and that would be that.

hah. i loved it. couldn't believe it, but i talked. and talked. and talked some more. i was the new one, they gave me time. it was SUCH a relief to be able to speak to people who understood and didn't judge or look at me funny or cringe

i couldn't wait for the next meeting, and went weekly for about two years, til my work schedule changed.

yes, of course i'd encourage you to go.

i'm envious you're in Victoria, where you'd have so many choices if you decided to go...wow.

anyway, yes, i get your concern about all the free time coming up.
making concrete plans has been of big help to me. even with smaller amounts of free time available.

best wishes for your weekend, and don't hesitate to use SR forum or chat or any other resource if you feel wobbly...